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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think visitors shouldnt just decide to sit in the garden?

38 replies

familyfun · 01/07/2011 20:14

had a busy day today with dd2, had to take her on school run as normal, also had to take her to bank, then back to school for social event, then to deliver a present so by 6 she hadnt napped all day and was lying on her playmat chilling after her dinner for half hour before bath and bed. she is 7 months.

aibu to think that if family come round unexpectedly and say arnt you sitting out its lovely, and i reply no because dd1 is reading happily inside and dd2 is playing and i dont want to sit outside holding her, that they shouldnt say well we are going out and go and sit in the garden. so then tea has to be took out for them, dd1 migrates outside and gets a bit hyper and i feel obliged to go and sit out holding dd2.

iabu and petty and having a good old moan tonight but its my house andif they wanted to sit outside why didnt they stop t home?

moan moan moan

OP posts:
Original poster
familyfun · 03/07/2011 21:14

they came at 6pm, dds go for bath at 6.30.
yes i think they came to visit our garden not us Grin
dd2 has had a lovely roll in the garden today and sat for 10 seconds on her own Smile but she also shoved a clover in her mouth and i had to wrestle her for it Grin
well guessed, it was outlaws, they never make a drink, even when they came to "help" me when dd1 was a newborn i had to make all their drinks/snacks and they dont hold dd2 fo me either so no help at all.

OP posts:
PaleHandsILoved · 04/07/2011 06:36

Is clover poisonous!? I had no idea! Am pretty sure friends' babies have eaten tonnes of clover out of our lawn when they have been over (we don't have a baby yet) - ooops!

PaleHandsILoved · 04/07/2011 06:38

Oh good, have just Googled and clover is edible and apparently also nutritious!

exoticfruits · 04/07/2011 06:59

If they know you well I don't see why they couldn't-who wants to be inside on a nice day? You didn't have to take tea out. Just make it and shout 'tea ready' and let them get it and decide where to have it.

youarekidding · 04/07/2011 07:09

I would be annoyed if someone turned up at bedtime on a Friday evening

I'd probably be happy to let them sit in garden whilst I got kids to bed and them join them. But they would have to fend for themselves.

naughtymummy · 04/07/2011 07:30

I can see both sides tbh. I suffer with SAD so get depressed of I don't get enough daylight. Had they both been at work, if so this may have been their only chance to soak up the rays. However I do understand, that you didn't want your dds back outside and had had plenty of sun that day. I think you need to find ways of politely telling them you weren't going out. As others have said I certainly would 't have been ferrying cups of tea, cant they use a kettle ?

HelloKlitty · 04/07/2011 07:41

It's a silly time for them to visit....so wherever they say they'd have bee a pain. Nearly bedtime isn't ever going to be a sensible time to visit someone with little ones.

Do they come that late often?

HelloKlitty · 04/07/2011 07:42

"Wherever they SAT" not SAY! Grin

Al0uiseG · 04/07/2011 07:47

They sound a bit rude but on the other hand I spend most of my time outside while the pil's sit inside moaning about the sunshine.

DeWe · 04/07/2011 11:32

Had the other way too. Went down to the beach with my IL. They came down, dumped all their large amount of stuff, anounced that it was too cold (wasn't cold at all, in fact I got a bit burnt and I rarely burn ever) and the whole lot of them (6 adults) went off to a cafe for the entire time. Leaving us with 3 young children and all their stuff stuck at that place because we couldn't move all their stuff. At no point did any of them even think to ask if we'd even like a drink brought out let alone offer to come and play with the children while one of us went in.
It would have been a lot better for us if they hadn't come because we'd at least have been free agents to wander off down the beach because we make sure we can carry our stuff between us.

Allinabinbag · 04/07/2011 11:37

I don't think it's rude if someone comes over and says 'do you mind if we sit outside?' I think it's better than sitting in on a lovely sunny day and nice to offer guests the choice.

I also think it's equally fine to say 'well, we can't come out as I don't want my dd2 getting wet/rolling in grass, we are just about to have a bath, but do go out and enjoy yourselves' and then get busy doing what you were doing anyway.

And I can't see how taking a cup of tea outside is a big deal and it's probably safer than all sitting in with the back door locked looking at the sunshine. Ask them to make themselves at home and put the kettle on next time.

Original poster
familyfun · 04/07/2011 21:30

they are in their 70s so no work all day.
they have never made a cuppa here and at family get togethers they sit and get waited on.
they used to come at 7 and stay till 830-9, then when we had dd1 we asked them to come earlier as she needed a bedtime and with nursery an dd2 now tell them we will be taking them up at 6.30, they hate coming early as they say they hit the traffic (10 min journey) and often stay let but i just take the kids up anyway

OP posts:
skybluepearl · 04/07/2011 22:10

can't you just say 'help yourself to tea and coffee' then stay where you are

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