to ask all you dumped ladies out there if i win 'OW' (other woman) bingo

[amicable]

Am trying to turn my current feelings of rage and hatred into something a bit more lighthearted. Just wondering if anyone else has been dumped in a more cliched manner, for a more cliched OW than me. So here goes -

I was recently dumped by my H for a woman who is -

half his age 10 points

blonde 5 points

from overseas 10 points

a STRIPPER 50 points

Oh yes, for some bonus points he started his affair while I had post natal depression 10 points , and guess how old he is going to be this year? Yes, later in the year he will be 'celebrating' his 40th birthday 10 points

So I calculate my total score to be 95 points ! I'm so proud! Can anyone else match me???

I want a go.....
Deadbeat Dad for 5 years, hardly sees kids, rarely bothers with them, constantly lets them down and I have to pick up the pieces. And, naturally, my ds in particular, thinks the sun shines out of him.

joins army (at last, forced into paying for his kids)
TERRIFIED as about to go to Afghanistan, he contacts the kids and visits whenever he can ALL SUMMER, saying how they can write and send parcels up to 2kg free, and he'll write as often as he can, and sometimes he'll be able to phone and speak to them and he'll be in touch on email and their facebook pages whenever he gets chance, and he tells me that if he plays the "dad" card and really moans at his sergeant major about missing his kids, he'll be first in line for leave at Christmas and he'll come and see them and have the BEST presents for them as he can't spend any money out there and he'll be on extra wages for being overseas, and he'll be LOADED, DD will get a laptop and DS will get an XBOX with EVERYTHING (thinks he has to promise things all the time, don't know why, he rarely fulfills promises, and he knows they love him WHATEVER).

Couple of weeks before he leaves, he meets a girl from our home town. And never saw or contacted his kids again before he left to go back to camp.

Never said "I'm leaving your home town for camp now.."
Never contacted them to say "I'm leaving camp and setting off to Afghan now"
Never contacted them to say "I'm in Afghan now, I got here safe"
Never contacted them for the next 3 months.....

EVERY NIGHT my kids sat down to watch the news (unheard of!)
EVERY NIGHT another soldier was killed, they went to bed with their hearts heavy, until the next night, sitting watching the news, the dead soldier would be named....and they would jump up and shout "YESSSSS!" that it wasn't their Dad....

EVERY NIGHT I had to tell them that their Dad wanted to contact them, but obviously couldn't, and he would do at the FIRST OPPORTUNITY.

Because I BELIEVED it to be true.

Til a mutual friend of his new girlf showed me her facebook page, and I saw that they had been in contact the WHOLE TIME he'd been away. Not only that, but he'd left her his CAR and his BANK CARD to make sure her and her child were ok whilst he was gone.
He'd phoned, written, and been on facebook to her. A load of puke inducing "can't wait to see my babe, love my babe, missing my babe, blah blah blah" with not a mention that he had TWO BABES sitting at home not knowing if he was alive or dead. Not a photo of them, no mention that he HAD kids, though some pics of him with the new girlf's kid and all together on a day out.

Days passed and I fumed and fumed, absolutely crushed for my kids....and I watched.

And discovered he'd arranged 2 weeks' Christmas leave, (first WE knew about it!) obviously playing the "Dad" card to his S.M.... she "couldn't wait to see him at xmas and get that ring on her finger"

Like a dick, I contacted him, publically, via a mutual friend of his on facebook, and publically berated him for his behaviour to his children who didn't know if he was alive or dead.

To which he responded "don't give me your shit, people are fucking dying out here"

So, he came back at Christmas. Came to see the kids. Empty handed. She'd spent ALL his money whilst he was away. So, he said they'd have to wait til he got paid before they got their Christmas presents....he got them a second hand wii fit board, costing £60. Between them.

And he gave HER (he admitted this to me 3 months later when they split up) £300 to get her and her kid "something nice"

That's just ONE thing he's done in their lives, I could go on and on and on about various instances but it is the one thing I will NEVER forgive him for.

AIBU?

Nice Karma l8r.

Sorry for your story stable, you sound very raw and not surprisingly. My Ex also cheated early on in our relationship. Makes you feel sick to find yourself there again doesn't it. Sending strength to you.

Loved your lots of post too fit (happy sob).

I'm not even going to start calculating points for the miserable priapic reptile I was shackled to for 7 years, it was too long ago. But let's just say he was a Martini shagger - Anyplace, Anytime, Anyone. He would boff anything (male or female) that wasn't nailed down, blatantly; and then he would lie about it, even though I knew what he was doing. But it turned out that it was all my fault really, because I was frigid!
I cringe when I look back to the wimp with no self esteem that he turned me into, but at least I was making a stand, even then, though I didn't know it. I just didn't want to have sex with someone I knew was banging everyone in town. Thank fook I finally found the guts to dump his sorry arse 22 years ago!
Several glasses of for all the ladies on here, who are well rid of these twats!

"miserable priapic reptile" , love your post columbia, just think what the last 22 years might have been if you hadn't dumped him . Shudder.

knobbys ex, what a twunt. Is it inevitable that these bloody men always let their children down when they find 'love' again? Ex failed to call the kids tonight . Hope it's not the start of a slippery slope but I have my doubts.

knobbysex my ex is the same,i wont swap stories cos it winds me up too much but i just have to push it from my mind or it destroys me how he can treat our fab kids like he does,i just do my best for them and support them when he doesnt,very sad.

I hope it doesn't start for you too :(
So glad you posted, this thread has some amazing stories and fanTAStic women on!
My ex has found "love" (and introduced my kids to new "mummies") at least ten times in 5 years, 3 of which he was engaged to!:o :o :o

ledkr the hardest thing i find is keeping my effin gob shut around them when he fucks them over AGAIN

knobbys. Gosh, isn't your ex just a dreamboat!

Begs the question - why the fuck don't we ask more questions before getting involved with these twunts?

We ask more questions about a used car than we do with prospective life partners.

I'm not saying that we in ANY FUCKING WAY deserve the idiots, but you start to wonder how these pathetic excuses for people get away with it so often and on a serial basis for some of them.

I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOOO happy with the current Mr Tigga as I decided to give a nice guy a chance for a change and 14 years on we are still blissfully happy.

I think this should be a minimum for acceptable relationships:

They do not start one relationship until they have FINISHED THE LAST!

They are not in any way twuntish, they phone when they say they will and have a good reason (not an excuse) when things don't go according to plan.

They are solvent or at least actively looking for work

They DO NOT LIVE WITH THEIR PARENTS! Unless it is avoidable due to financial hardship.

If there are children they do not introduce you to them until the relationship is established and then with the agreement of the ex partner if possible. If at all possible the ex partner to meet you first. Where ex is concerned I understand that there are women out there who give the rest of us a bad name but they are a minority and everyone needs to be grown up about this kind of thing.

They treat their ex and their children well. Even if the ex is a raging psycho and there are some out there ladies, trust me, I've dated a few guys who had them. Although in the case of one guy she had every reason to be as he hadn't actually broke up with her even though he said he had - he got dumped as soon as I found out.
::remembers being stalked by ex psycho of one guy who actually moved in across the road from me::

They are honest

They do not cheat on you

They treat you with respect

I'mSureThere'sMoreButIHaven'tHadAnyTeaYetTiggaxx

DawnTigga even women that ask questions don't always listen.

My exh2 (Neither of the two ex's that I've mentioned on this thread btw) cheated on me at least once, but the worst thing he did was lie. He lied about everything, where he was going, what he was doing, who he was with, what things had cost. It wasn't that I was asking any questions (at first), it was that he'd come home saying things like 'I bought this portable radio/cassette player/CD player from a second hand shop for £50.' It was brand new and cost double. 'I'm off to Tims place.' He was playing golf. 'My brand new moped is essential for me to learn the knowledge.' He then px's his essential moped for a proper motorbike. I bailed him out for years to the tune of £50k.

His new girlfriend found some emails between him and me about money he owed me etc and she contacted me to ask me about him so I told her.

Over the years, I told her more and more and she said she could've said my exact words as he had done some of the same to her.

She STILL married him. He persuaded her to get a joint mortgage with him. He started to cheat on her and then wouldn't leave the house. He now lives in what is essentially her house as he put nothing into it while she rents another. He's also had around £50k out of her.

Does she wish she'd listened to me? yes she does! but it's too late. I wish someone had warned me every time I was about to step into a relationship with an abuser/thief of a man? hell yes! but most people don't get the opportunity to chat with an ex do they...

They do not start one relationship until they have FINISHED THE LAST! Yep, this is absolutely key and a lesson I wish I'd known about when I got together with my ex. I started out as the OW but thought that was ok because we were so young etc etc. Now he has gone off with his new OW (20 years later) I have learned my lesson. I will NEVER get involved with someone who is already in a relationship ever again, no matter how 'unhappy' that relationship is. I suppose karma has bitten ME on the arse for that one.

The problem I see with asking if they have any history of affairs in their past is this. Are you going to get an honest answer if they have previously been unfaithful? So what do you gain, other than potentially looking like an idiot with the man of your dreams?

Oh goodness me Im drip feeding , I just remembered when my ex and I first got together he was "separated" from his first wife, he was living in the local YMCA. True enough , cos I would ring him there. What he "forgot" to mention 6 months into our relationship was that he had got back with her and moved into her new house.
She then found out he was still seeing me so dumped him and I let him move in with me
Much to his dismay she and I became quite good friends until she remarried.
He hit me that day (later realised it was because he was jealous of her moving on)
Followed by nine years of broken cheek bone, broken fingers countless black eyes bruised cheeks etc etc and I STILL married him rumours of various affairs were dismissed as idle gossip and I chose to believe him.

Till four months after we married I saw it for myself,then when I couldn't lie to myself anymore I ended it when I knew he was seeing this young nubile young thing who looked good on his arm when he went to the gigs he played (he was a musician)
When we divorced he left me owing over £2000 in loans I had taken out for him (he couldn't get a loan in his name) He had the receipts for the cash payment he had made for some music gear, I had the payment books for the £2000 + interest loan and couldn't prove anything and because I now didnt have child care I had no job either .

haunted you asked "are they gonna be truthful"
doubt it, he had told her and her family that we had separated, he convinced her I was a bitter ex , that my stories of DV were lies, all to cause trouble because I was jealous.

I heard he hit her within 6 months, he hospitalised her at least once.
I am just so sorry that she didnt believe me and had to get beaten to realise I was not this bitter twisted ex he had painted me as .

I didn't like her but I didn't blame her because I knew how " believable " and charming he could be .

previous ex - even he agrees the the bloke he left me for was a jerk
he and DH now are able to converse amicably (not bad after 27 year)
but ex is still single after multitiming enough of us for long enough that the tomtoms get there before his offers of drinks tee hee

Bloke?!!! TalkinPeace? wow! you are calm.

Good on you, OP.
Karma will surely bite your Ex DP (and the horse he rode in on) on the backside

Wow. When I started reading this thread i thought I might pick up some points - but not really in comparison with the absolutely moronic jerks that you lovely ladies have had the misfortune to get hooked up with!

Mine was relatively straightforward:
together nearly 11y, engaged, 3m prior to wedding, he stays out til 2am. I worry my arse off - phone him, no response; think he;s been squashed on the road somewhere. He gets back eventually - sorry, he'd just been talking.

2 days later - he's "not sure" about the wedding, can we postpone it?

2 days later - Valentine's Day - he moves out. To her flat. Nice timing.

She: 5y older, married but separated, vegetarian (he's an inveterate meat-eater), OCD, and a SECRETARY (can I have my points please? )
He was nearly 30 so had his crisis a few years early.

3w later, he has a meal out with her and his family so they can meet her. But at that stage, he's still telling me "there's nothing in it, she's just a friend". I only found out via his brother's gf, who was going to be a bridesmaid. She was disgusted and wouldn't go to the meal, plus told me about it. Very glad she did.

So - house goes on market (this was my dream house, btw) - get a buyer, for the same price we paid for it = miracle at the time! Then he cancels the sale and tells me he's not selling, he's moving back in whenever I've got my own place and she's coming too.

I make him promise not to bring her to house while I'm still living there but of course he does - every Saturday he would come to mow the lawns because I refused to, and to clean out the tropical fish tank because I refused to. So I would be out - he had the opportunity and I was told she came too by other sources.

It's not so bad, really - but it was at the time. Karmic retribution came early for me - his grandparents phoned me the following February to let me know that I needed to be careful of horse-riding without stirrups because ex had just had his varcose veins stripped "because of that" and was in full length surgical stockings living back with Mummy to take care of him - such a romantic first anniversary for them!

After that - life not so bad; had one bf who turned out to be gay (but he tried to be with 2 other girls after me before finally admitting it); another who was a pathological liar and NPD, he luckily left me for some other poor woman while lying about it and borrowed stole lots of money from me; and then there is DH - who is a saint in comparison.

Bast - good for you.

Jj - hideous beyond words!

Fit - good for your DD - she sounds like a star!

And to all the other ladies on here - more power to your elbows, stay away from the twunts and hang on to the good ones!