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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not want my partner to go out with work anymore?

107 replies

kirsty12321 · 28/06/2011 18:53

My partner is a supervisor in a high street shoe shop, last summer he cheated on me twice with little bunts from the store, at the time I ended up in hospital with a mental break (alot of this led up to this, home, work, him ect) with counselling - both together and just by myself, we have worked through this and stayed together, but he has just phoned to say he's in the pub with 'all the guys from work' I asked him who was there and got ' oh just Anna Sophie alexa becca and sammy' so no 'guys' just girls, including the two from last year.
I told him he's pretty much given up his right to go out with them, especially the two from before because of what he did and he's just had a massive go at me and told me he's not coming home tonight now, so my only guess is that he will be staying at one of their houses! AIBU presuming he shouldn't have the oppertunity to go out with these girls? It's our anniversary today and he knows I have restaurant reservations for us too :(

OP posts:
izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 29/06/2011 08:35

It may good for you to start over in a new flat but, in the meantime, maybe you could think about getting a short-term flatmate?

ninipops · 29/06/2011 08:41

Congrats Kirsty! I'd love to have seen his face when he realised you'd changed the locks! Have to say tho that it sounds like he has already lost some of his appeal if he ended up sleeping on the doorstep rather than with one of the tarts.

LindyHemming · 29/06/2011 08:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Widdows · 29/06/2011 08:46

Once is a mistake, twice is a habit!

purplepidjin · 29/06/2011 09:12

Wow, that's a fantastically brave thing to do! Pure respect Grin

Agree with pp who suggested a housemate preferably a six foot tall gay gymbunny but dont tell the exbastard that bit

actually if the gymbunny is female DO tell the exbastard shes gay

Morloth · 29/06/2011 09:17

Excellent work, don't ever ever settle there are plenty of men around who are not arseholes, one will be along.

Original poster
kirsty12321 · 29/06/2011 09:27

Thank you so much for all of your support! It's reassuring to know even strangers over the Internet think he's being a knob! I'm off ti the bank to ask for a run down of everything I've paid into our savings account and withdrawing it! I put in £500 a month compared to his £70, so the balance might not be looking so healthy any more! And seeing as I bought the microwave/bed/tv/ tea coffee sugar jars ect he literally has the clothes on his back and his games! Feeling very pleased with myself today, looking forward to going out on Friday night getting hammered and being very irresponsible with who i flirt with!

OP posts:
GeekCool · 29/06/2011 09:28

Well done Kirsty, here's a cheeky Wine to your new life without that arsehole!

HerHissyness · 29/06/2011 09:40

WOW WOW WOW! Kirsty you absolutley ROCK!

The stepping over his curled up body in the morning is just inspired!

I am in AWE! Grin

HarrietJones · 29/06/2011 09:47

Wow, read this last night & am so pleased you went for it!

JanMorrow · 29/06/2011 09:47

Well done!! Has he tried to contact you today?

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 29/06/2011 10:04

He's not just being a knob, HE IS A KNOB and he's a prime candidate for Knob of the Year.

Shame you can't let slip the name of the store and the high street so that we can all pile in, run his little tarts assistants ragged trying on footwear that we have no intention whatsoever of buying (not even if we suffer from Imelda syndrome), and then complain to his Head Office about the dishevelled and unkempt appearance of the Manager.

Clean that bank account out now - and book yourself a holiday somewhere where there's loads of hot men.

Off to the High Street - I feel an urgent need for a new pair of sandals, or it could be boots, or maybe slippers, or....

ljgibbs · 29/06/2011 10:14

He's a knobhead you're well rid. Get to the bank quick before he does, and get your money out before he thinks of doing so.

fiveisanawfullybignumber · 29/06/2011 11:08

Kirsty, you do indeed ROCK! Awesome responses to your situation.
I'm another one for naming and shaming the idiot's place of work. I can imagine a queue of cackling mumsnetters running the store ragged.Grin

childfreeatm · 29/06/2011 11:13

dump him sounds like a tosser.

pinkyredrose · 29/06/2011 11:28

Well done Kirsty, he was taking you for a ride. You are no-one's fool that's for sure, you carry on standing up for yourself, you are an amazing strong woman and I take my hat off to you x

FlubbaBubba · 29/06/2011 11:38

Well done!! Soooo impressed you've turned things around so quickly and sensibly! You often get similarish threads on here and five days later the OP is still saying "I don't know what to do, he's said he's sorry" etc etc, only to get screwed and to have to go through it all again later.

You've got some balls, lady! :o

mumnotmachine · 29/06/2011 18:51

Well done Kirsty- you go girl!!!

Rhinestone · 29/06/2011 19:16

Why oh why are you with him? Don't you think you deserve someone nice?

PinkSchmoo · 29/06/2011 19:38

Kirsty, think I'm developing a crush on you. You sooo rock!

I am woman hear me roar!

AttillaTheMum · 29/06/2011 20:00

Kirsty you are AMAZING! I really hope you live near me and will be my BFF [WINK]

Sn0wflake · 29/06/2011 22:02

I'm quite impressed here.

featherbag · 29/06/2011 22:08

You're my new hero!

Original poster
kirsty12321 · 29/06/2011 22:14

All these posts have put a even bigger smile on my face, Grin I'm giving myself a big pat on the back with a large glass of wine ATM even though I have to get up for work at 435 tomorrow.. AhhConfused
I have a grand total of 127 missed calls from him today plus 17 from his mum and 47 from a mobile number I don't recognise but am presuming with that amount of calls it must be him / about him! I cleared my money out of the bank and left his today, my totals nice chunky wad to put towards new clothes/ vodka / haircut!
As well as all of those calls my voicemail is full (I didn't even know that could happen on a mobile?!) Confused and about 100 messages from him, I read the first 3 but haven't even opened the rest they are just sat in my inbox, I'm feeling so powerful and proud today, my two mindees all day have been saying 'your so happy and smiley'
onwards and upwards to being single and independent!
And another plus I think I've found a flat mate already that can move in next week! Grin don't think I've felt this positive in a long time!

OP posts:
gallicgirl · 29/06/2011 22:24

Yay! Well done you.

I really hope things go well for you in the future.

If you're ever feeling a bit sad and lonely, just come back to this thread to see how brave you are. :)

PS: Weren't you ever so slightly tempted to kick your ex awake as you stepped over him? Think I might have tripped over his bollocks as I was leaving for work, if I were you.