Children who are deemed 'fussy eaters' seem to have no problem hoofing down sugary and fatty foods!

[pingu2209]

I have at least 4 friends whose children are deemed 'fussy eaters'. Whenever they come to play and have a meal with us, the parents/mothers always apologise in advance, during and after at how their children 'eat nothing' and are 'really fussy'.

My house rules are if you don't like something, fine then leave it. However, you don't get a pudding if you don't eat your main meal.

ALL of the so called fussy eaters are given chocolate biscuits or cake or crisps as soon as they get home, then refuse to eat their dinners but their parents allow them a sugary/fatty pudding anyway.

Is the reality that there are no fussy eaters, just parents that let their children develop a taste for junk food and allow them to get away with eating nothing but junk food?

My dd seems to like "familiar" things and only peer pressure works on getting her try to new stuff. She definitely IS less fussy about sweet stuff though. She seems to prefer bland "savoury" food - she'll eat rice, plain pasta - bit of butter or cream at a push, ham sandwiches, potatoes, omelettes, carrots - preferably raw. We have trouble with any kinds of sauce. She likes chicken nuggets and mayonnaise (once a week) but isn't bothered about chips. She is better at school - I believe - than at home.

See, I agree with the OP to a certain extent, but I don't see why people feel the need to attack her, when she's only expressing herself. There's no need to be so bitchy imho.

My brother drives me up the absolute wall - He will sit there with his food in his bedroom and leave it bloody well untouched. And then will scream back at me when I tell him off for having a slice of bread and some crisps! It's always been my opinion of "No dinner, no treats" but my parents just don't seem to care. He spends all his time outside when necessary, and he's thin as a whippet, but will just plain refuse to have a meal that we provide for him. He'd happily live off McDonalds, chips, baked beans with sausages and bread. But when we do a nice pie and chips, or spag bol, or mild curry, or lasagne, it'll stay in his room and be left to go cold. Drives me mental!

DS1 - eats and tries everything.
DS2 - laughs in the face of every 'healthy' meal I've cooked for him.

Same snacks, same meals, same weaning.

More evidence for your theory, lesley33 !

YABU because your title was not a question.

If eating certain types of food really distresses the child- like they are autistic and have hypersensitivity where eating is concerned- that would be the kind of case where you could let a fussy kid be fussy.
But if they just don't like the food and cry if they're forced to eat it...the parents just call them "fussy" and be done with it for a quiet life, I think.

Fussy, musty, fusty, weird word!

pingu - DS is a fussy eater. Has been since he was a baby. Nothing to do with sugary or fatty food.

I don't allow him those 'as soon as he gets home' but he does eat them occasionally. Probably no more than you allow your children to eat them. Because they are (if he's given proper food he won't eat) something he will eat, then it might sometimes appear that that's why he doesn't eat. I can assure you it's not.

I would absolutely love for you to come and sort him out though - I'm frankly at my wits end and it causes me no end of stress.

trillian,you are even more pedantic than me

I think some children are just indulged, my mum did it with my eldest while I was at work he didn't like potatoes so she didn't five him them, now at 16 he still won't eat them, on the other hand for some children eating can be a problem, sometimes it can be more to do with the look of food and the texture and alot will grow out if it, for some tho it isn't that simple! I'm glad I've never had this problem, must be really worrying

quirrelquarrel - I would cry if I were forced to eat something I didn't like

wouldn't you?

Ds1 gags when he has anything in a sauce i.e. Pasta, chicken pie and so on. Doesn't like 'mixed' food like rice with things in. Won't eat rice in fact, or pasta (plain or otherwise).

He does like roast meat, steak, toad in the hole (but only with quite plain sausages with smooth texture). Likes cereal. No butter ever in sandwiches. Will eat uncooked carrot, cucumber and broccoli. Yes to cheese. He is 5 and gradually over the last month he has improved - tried chicken in a gravy last night and pasta (still didn't like, but at least he tried without gagging). Being harsh doesn't work. Winds us both up. I've decided that, like with potty training, it is a case of plugging away slowly but surely in the hope that he relaxes enough to try things. A major aspect of the last month is that he will they, rather than refusing point blank.

Dd (his older sister) eats pretty much everything and is always game to try.

Ds1 had hideous constipation for some time and I went at about the same time from eating most things to each day dropping another food. I suspect that he was associating food with pain and discomfort and was always bloated.

So.. Yabu to be so snarky about fussy eaters generally based on your very limited experience. The only difference between dd and ds 1 in terms of their weaning experience and my subsequent feeding of them was that dd was weaned earlier (4months) whereas ds1 was weaned at 6 months. And dd was weaned on purees and ds1 BLW. I do occasionally wonder whether that meant he had more control over diet and tastes at an ege when dd was fed like a baby bird. Will see what happens with ds2 - also weaned at 6 months and BLW. though he has the additional difference of still breastfeeding at 22 months.

And YABVU btw OP,and provocative. You cannot make such a judgement using just the four fussy eaters you know as evidence.

There certainly are fussy eaters out there whose parents enable them,and make their pickiness worse,but there are also fussy eaters out there who have genuine problems with certain foods,particular textures or eating in general,including some who will even starve themselves rather than eat a food which they have an aversion too.

And not all fussy eaters like McDonalds and KFC,yes some will,but that's likely to be because the food is the same every time,and relatively bland,two qualities which often appeal to fussy eaters and young children in general.

It amazes me how many people will say, oh just put it in front of them,give them nothing else and they'll eat it,and the other usual tips, as though parents of genuine fussy eaters haven't heard and tried it all before. There's never a shortage of 'experts' out there when this topic is brought up.

I think there have been some interesting points raised. I wonder how people coped in years gone by.
You just simply could not be fussy in a family of nine in a two bedroomed terrace . You ate what you were given, no arguments, no discussion.
I am of the firm belief that cheap food, easy access to a wide range of food and children who know this has contributed to fussy eating. And some parents who indulge their children.
My house, dead simple. One meal, four kids. Eat or don't.

The problem is also that some parents give in too quickly. The kid knows that if they sit it out for a day then the parent will cave.
And they always do........

Lol Pingu I've noticed this too.

i don't really understand why some think children will like the same food as the parent. my mum gave me cabbage for years and i never ate it i preferred peas and wondered why she always gave me the caggage which always ended up in the bin

I have one fussy eater and one dustbin Nowt to do with parenting as they were dragged up the same.

Some parents may overindulge, but not all.

Agree with you OP.

Have only read OP.

OP - you are very judgemental. My DS is very fussy. He refused school dinners every single day without fail for 2 straight terms. They gave him a bit of bread. He would refuse any hot meal served at home, but might eat something like an apple. Honestly if you had a child who wouldn't eat for days at a time, you might be grateful when they eat a bit of "junk". You have no idea what it is like to have a fussy child. Do you think I like my child being underweight and anaemic? Just for your information, my other child eats anything served up, is a healthy weight and enjoys healthy food.

So what happenend during rationing then?

I'm sorry, but this is ridiculous:

"He doesn't like fatty foods at all or anything that feels dry but contains fat eg sponge cakes. He also has an aversion to overly sweet foods so doesn't like white chocolate for example.
He eats a shed load of fruit and veg and meats and carbs but hardly any dairy, no dressing, no butter and definitely no sauces! He doesn't like many sweets (only fruit ones) and he doesn't like oily crisps (only those cardboard type ones!)"

I also believe that most "fussy" children are only fussy because they are allowed to be, with their parents being "grateful" when they eat anything

I do wonder if some fussy kids are like this due to stress at meal times. Parents putting pressure on them and comenting on the food and what has/ hasnt been eaten. I think over comenting on food can have bad effects ether makes them wary of food or makes them more stuborn

I wonder how fussy victorian street urchins were. Or camp victims. or refugees.
Just knowing food is plentiful and that there is an alternative can increase fussiness.