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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to dislike those awlful little girls

56 replies

mummyofonegirl · 25/06/2011 14:04

DD has gone for a play date at a friends and another of their friends is also there. When I dropped her off I greeted the girls and they both just looked at me and ignored me. They then began to tease my DD aboit the size of some toys that she bought which I could see unnerved my DD. I greeted the parents who were very pleasant and as I l was about to leave I said good bye told them all to have fun and again they just looked at me. Their parents did not say anything. If an adult (that she knows) addressed my DD in front of me and she ignored them I would tell her to respond it is just rude. When I have taken them all in the past for a meal the 2 of them have absolutely no table manners they shouted and misbehaved and disturbed the whole restaurant. Until we were practically asked to leave. I was furious and embarrassed. Then there is the materialism. Who has an ipad and who has this amount of toys etc it is so uncalled for 7 and 8 year olds. When my DD is with them she let's them dominate her to the extent she behaves like them even though she knows that her parents will not approve. She just seems to loose her mind. I try to encourage her to play woth others by inviting other girls to our home but she alsways seems to want to play with hese awlful girls again. What to do?

OP posts:

crystalglasses · 25/06/2011 14:06

Don't invite both girls. 3s a crowd and one will always be left out imo.

tallulahxhunny · 25/06/2011 14:07

sounds like they dont like you and tbh im not sure i blame them

cheesesarnie · 25/06/2011 14:09

i agree 1 at a time.

TheSecondComing · 25/06/2011 14:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

crystalglasses · 25/06/2011 14:11

tallulahxhunny - that's not a called for. i can't see anything wrong in the op's post at all.

GypsyMoth · 25/06/2011 14:11

You sound worse than them! You are an adult

At 7-8 they are still learning social skills......

AuntieMonica · 25/06/2011 14:13

do you ever ask your DD what she gets out of the friendship?

tallulahxhunny · 25/06/2011 14:14

ok crystal..i will rephrase that and just agree with ILoveTiffany for a wee change! OP sounds rude and jealous to me :shrugs

GypsyMoth · 25/06/2011 14:17

That post was just veiled bitching at the girls parents. And being nasty about little girls?? You sound like 'we are better than that' then go on to say your own dd behaves the same way!

ShellyBoobs · 25/06/2011 14:19

Those girls really do sound awful, but if they're being allowed to be rude and disruptive in social situations, it's the parents' at fault.

No advice regarding encouraging your daughter to have other friends; if she's insistent on being freindly with these particular two it's very difficult, isn't it?

Maybe as others have said, try to limit your DD's contact with these girls to one at a time.

jugglingmug · 25/06/2011 14:21

Why do you take your DD for playdates with them, if you dislike them so much?

tallulahxhunny · 25/06/2011 14:22

I agree again with ILT

think i need a lie down now

Icoulddoitbetter · 25/06/2011 14:25

I have nephews like this and I have never understood why their parents let them get away with it. Yes at 7 they are still learning social skills but who do they learn them from exactly? I know a child of mine may go through this phase at some point, but there is no way I'll let it go unmentioned.

MigratingCoconuts · 25/06/2011 14:27

Op sound jealous??? How??!!

Op sounds like she has standards in behaviour and manners.

I completely get what you are saying. I agree with asking DD what she gets out of these friendships and encouraging her to find more accepting friends.

AuntieMonica · 25/06/2011 14:27

honestly, these are 7 yr old kids the OP has mentioned.

if you don't like them or the way they are being parented, don't mix with them. they aren't there for you to score cheap points against.

TheSecondComing · 25/06/2011 14:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NettoSuperstar · 25/06/2011 14:32

Girls that age are all pretty awful anyway, I suggest spending as little time with them as possible.

I have learned my lesson the hard way, I had 3 of 9yr old DD's friends to stay over last weekend.
It was not fun.

worraliberty · 25/06/2011 14:39

You do sound a bit judgemental and snotty OP...though I'm with you on the restaurant thing, I think I would have upped and left.

But this bit of your OP did make me laugh - When my DD is with them she let's them dominate her to the extent she behaves like them even though she knows that her parents will not approve

I've heard that said a thousand times over the years by parents who just can't accept their children are naughty too. It's always someone else's fault.

To be honest, if you were bringing her up so very differently to these girls, I'm sure she'd rather gouge her own eyes out than spend any time with them.

Pagwatch · 25/06/2011 14:42

I don't really understand if I am honest.

If the girls are horrible, why do you take her to them?

If the parents are horrible, ditto?

If children are rude I would admonish them but I know some parents get uncomfortable about being too struct in front of others.

I don't know any 7 year olds who tease about the size of toys.

I don't know any 7 year olds with an iPad.

It is all a bit bumfuzzling to me.

kazmus · 25/06/2011 14:43

I don't think little girls have changed much since I was one in the 60's! We moved to a new area and my dear old mum thought it great that 2 new girls would knock on the door and ask me out to play. They only did this so that they could then gang up and bully me the entire time. I couldn't tell my mum as I thought it made her happy for me to be involved. Sometimes young girls can be scheming littles minxes, take care that the friendship angle is not a cover for something else. (by the way I caught one of my 'friends' on her own on her way to school one day and knocked 7 bells out of her..never got invited again!!:) )

Original poster

mummyofonegirl · 25/06/2011 14:44

Thanks for your messages I will not encourage the 3 of them to play together out school I am not jealous of the kids or their parents to me they have not been encouraged to behave as I would like

OP posts:

worraliberty · 25/06/2011 14:49

But how do you know they're not being encouraged to behave as you would like...apart from the parent not making them say hello?

Presumably you're bringing your DD up to behave as you would like, but you've admitted she doesn't always behave well.

Do you not think it might be the same for the other girls?

Original poster

mummyofonegirl · 25/06/2011 15:30

I note how it may seem to others. I am not jealous but io may be abit snooty I know it takes all sorts to make the world go round and know very well that my DD can be naugjtyu believe me I am just shocked at how her behaviour changes amongst them and how some parents can choose to ignore bad behaviour and laugh it off as them just having fun.

OP posts:

GypsyMoth · 25/06/2011 15:35

What bad behaviour are we talking about exactly??

The bit where they just looked at you?

TheSecondComing · 25/06/2011 15:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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