to feel absolutely disgusted by what just happened on the bus?

[BreastmilkDoesAFabLatte]

On the bus with DH, toddler DD (19 months) in pushchair and newborn DS (17 days) in sling. Travelling through bog standard, middle class suburbia.

As we board, bus driver snaps that we'll either have to fold the pushchair or get off now. As we're fumbling to fold the pushchair whilst clinging onto a tired and wailing DD, other passangers are elbowing past and paying no attention to DS whom I'm trying to protect, and the bus driver is shouting at me to hurry up.

Nobody at all offers DH or DD a seat, and the only person to offer me one is a woman of at least 70.

Having an ashamed-to-be-British moment.

I'm actually dreading possibly needing a bus at some point with my monster Lebruss!

YANBU, I would give up my seat for anyone elderly, disabled, pregnant, holding baby, with toddler on knee and would make encourage anyone with me to do same.
Not in that order, would only have one seat to offer
I used to travel on buses all the time, don't have to do so so much now but am often appalled at peoples attitudes.

OP make sure & buy screw top next time

Two adults, two children and a buggy. Don't see the problem myself.
Perhaps you need to practise child-juggling and buggy folding a bit at home before venturing out newly-skilled.

Will have ready in advance...

Great, all the vipers are on this thread, means the rest of the board should be nice and civilised. Thank fuck I drive, that's all I can say.

At least this thread might give you some idea who all the nasty people on the bus were - they seem to be on here now giving you a hard time for daring to complain about a crap bus journey with a newborn.
I am loving the fact that some on here are emoting with your fellow passengers and the bus driver rather than a new mum. Says it all really.

OP YANBU. I never collapse my pushchair until the bus pulls up as I usually have loads of bags hanging of it ( so shoot me). If there are already two buggies I wait for the next bus. Likewise if a wheelchair user needs the space, I wait for the next one. This has hardly ever happened however and I usually have no trouble getting on a bus without collapsing the pushchair, taking four bags off the handle, having a 4 yr old and an 18 month on my lap. Why should I if there's room and I don't have to?

OP- The bus driver was rude and a lot of people are being unsympathetic to an ordinary family trying to get the bus home with two kids.

I had my baby in a sling on a train once and although I was being knocked from pillar to post and hanging on to a ceiling strap not one studiously busy person offered me a seat. I most certainly would have for a parent with a baby in a sling- what if the bus or train lurches and they fall over?

It's not greedy parents expecting entitlement and privilege, its normal people struggling with kids and a bit of common courtesy and consideration won't hurt anyone.

And the poster who suggested OP stays home because she hasn't slept for 17 days? Nice.

I think the problem is people are almost scared to help each other these days.

People might see a pregnant woman but be too scared to offer a seat incase she isnt pregant and they offend her or she views it as sexisim.

You hear stories all the time about people helping each other and end up getting sued if something goes wrong! They might be worried if they helped you with your pram, It could break it and then you will want them to pay for it etc...

A year ago a saw a lost child in Waitrose and even found myself hesitating to help her incase the parents thought I had tried to take the child or something...

We live in fear of getting it wrong and getting punished.....

Zukie :o Now, I think if the OP had that with her, people might not be UR to moan!

Coco

Do you think it's what DC meant about his 'big society' ?

If that's the worst thing you've ever encountered on a bus then you have been very fortunate.

I am not sure why you are getting such a hard time OP anyone with a newborn is bound to be stressed and tbh I would give up my seat (and have done) for an adult with a young toddler, not because I have to but because I am a decent human being (?) and I dont fancy seeing a toddler fly down a bus if it breaks too hard!.
As a regular bus user I can say no matter what you do people will complain that you dare to even exsist sometimes so its best to just get on the best you can.
I would just relax forget about the bastarding bus and give your newborn a lovely snuggle safe at home.

I don't see why you have to fold buggies anyways. Mine takes up way more space folded than when up as it can't stand up by itself so you have to lie it on the floor. I just walk everywhere. Was it a MW appointment? I would have got them to come to you. How unfortunate though.

People are so nasty nowadays, this thread reflects exactly what is wrong with people on a social level. Its an everyone for themselves attitude or an expectation for you to be perfect or stop whining when you are only human.

The OP was not acting entitled, probably just thought people would be a bit more civilised than to barge past her while she has a new born in a sling.

It is not the hardest thing to do and it certainly wouldn't cost anyone an arm and a leg to be polite.

I got on the bus the other week and it took a group of elderly ladies having a go at other people before I was offered a seat. There was a lot of talk about the old days when they as mothers never even had to worry about things like this as people would almost jump to help and be courteous.

I am sympathetic OP - it will get easier I promise.
I wouldn't have offered to help if I'd been on the bus, because I'd have assumed you had it covered with 2 adults (because I wouldn't have known that your baby was quite so new).

But I would have offered to let someone with a toddler have my seat....if I'd noticed and not been completely distracted. FWIW DD and DS normally got offered seats on crowded tubes, right up to primary age, so you probably just struck unlucky with a bus full of pregnant/sick/disabled/selfish/unobservant people.

Public transport is crap and people can be shit especially when getting on and off buses (because obviously the bus is going to pull away without letting anyone on or off ).

Is it bad that the sort of behaviour the OP encountered wouldn't even strike me as unusual? FWIW I would always offer a seat to anyone who looked like they needed it and, to be fair, I've been offered a seat myself occasionally and always been pleasantly surprised when it's happened. Would never expect it though no matter how laden down or how tantrummy the toddler.

Now if we could just do something about the various odours I encounter it would make bus journeys much more pleasant. Maybe some kind of automatic deodoriser that is activated when anyone very smelly gets on? Or I'll have to start carrying a pomander round with me.

Go by car or get yourself more organised. And before anyone says perhaps OP can't afford a car, she and her partner have just had a new baby. If you can afford a baby you can afford a car.

Your dh was standing there while you had the baby in the sling trying to fold the buggy and you are angry at the other passengers, not at your dh?

old people! stop being so doddery and stay in!
pregnant women! you got yourself up the duff so don't expect anyone to help!
disabled people! you've got wheels, use them!
small children! grow up and stop being so small!

tired people! go to bed earlier!

This is why I don't travel by bus with small children.

Can't stand the smug judginess.

Presumably DH was preventing DD from doing a runner Laquitar.

If you can afford a baby you can afford a car

Yes because a tiny baby who is bf or even ff costs the same as outlay to buy the car, insurance, tax, petrol, all of which have to be paid upfront. What a stupid argument.

A tank of petrol for my average sized car cost £70 today. That's about 8 weeks' worth of formula....

Suggesting that you practise with the buggy and baby before having to do it in a stressful situation makes sense to me, it's what I do. Dry run to check what the problems are.
Two adults means you don't have to chain the toddler to something whilst you do it. Should we all just pretend that of course it's impossible?