to feel absolutely disgusted by what just happened on the bus?

[BreastmilkDoesAFabLatte]

On the bus with DH, toddler DD (19 months) in pushchair and newborn DS (17 days) in sling. Travelling through bog standard, middle class suburbia.

As we board, bus driver snaps that we'll either have to fold the pushchair or get off now. As we're fumbling to fold the pushchair whilst clinging onto a tired and wailing DD, other passangers are elbowing past and paying no attention to DS whom I'm trying to protect, and the bus driver is shouting at me to hurry up.

Nobody at all offers DH or DD a seat, and the only person to offer me one is a woman of at least 70.

Having an ashamed-to-be-British moment.

or where people will tell you you're acting like a drama queen with a sense of entitlement

Congratulations on the baby.

Logically - YABU. two adults can manage two children and a pushchair onto a bus.

BUT. You are knackered, you are new to having two small children and YANBU to feel tired, and overwhelmed and to need a bit of help. I remember those days (there's 15 months between my two.) I often got the bus with them both and within months felt like I had actually grown 17 extra arms but in the early days, gawd, it was like trying to wrestle eels in a vat of jelly with one arm tied behind my back.

There was no need for the bus driver to be short with you and it is sad that people, generally, won't offer a hand any more. I wonder if it is fear of the reaction of the person they offer help to (sometimes people get abuse for offering help) or peeeeeeeedo hysteria makes people stand back, or people are just getting locked in their own bubbles and just not seeing those around them, iyswim.

Cross

I thought that was what Mumsnet was for ?

Buses are shite. Get a car.

Maybe Im doing it wrong

It's sad that people don't offer to help even if it is all your fault for having children and not being able to cope flawlessly on every single occasion

I would have helped you. But then I am nice

I must be too.

I don't see what difference it makes that it was a hospital appointment.

There were two of you, and if you hadn't been shopping it's not like you had all that to faff with.

Maybe the bus driver was snappy with you and he shouldn't have been, but he probably gets irritated with parents that don't automatically fold their buggys and then expect his schedule to run late and other passengers to have to wait because of their inconsideration.

I really can't see why you would think a parent should have priority seating just because they are a parent There are plenty of other reasons for people to be tired and want a seat that don't involve parenting!

It's sad that the OP is allowed an 'off day' being tired and all that but the bus driver isn't.

To the people saying he should be reported for 'snapping'...have you ever thought that he might have a newborn baby at home too?

It's not like he said "Hurry up and fold the buggy you stupid Bastards, you're holding everyone up"

He just snapped at her

I would have offered my seat to someone with a baby in a sling (or a pregnant lady), but it wouldn't have occurred to me to get up for an older child or their parent. It sounds like you had a stressful time, but honestly it does seem like you're overreacting a bit.

There's always a bit of pushing/jostling on overcrowded public transport, it's not very nice but that's how it is. People aren't necessarily doing it on purpose, it's just a lot of people crammed into a small space all trying to get to where they need to be, and there will inevitably be some contact.

'Absolutely disgusted' is a bit OTT, but YANBU to be cross a the rudeness.

I suspect this is more about being an exhausted stressed out new mum TBH

Omg you got on a bus, people use buses and they dont have to help you. As if you cant handle a new born baby and as if your dh can hold a toddler while folding a pram. I could hold 2 babys and 3 toddlers while folding a pram on a full bus!!!

YANBU to go and crack open that bottle of wine. Hope hospital appointment went ok.

is that better?

if 2 grownups can't manage to fold a buggy and look afeter a baby and a toddler.....well they need to stay home

What help were you actually expecting from people anyway? They can't be expected to hold your child for you, or know how to fold your pushchair for you.

People can be rude at times...I would have helped if I had seen you were struggling!!

However, did you all have to go?? Would have been better for DH to stay at home with whoever didnt have an appointment..unless you all did!!

I would allow an 19 month old to sit down because I remember how it was to be small and vulnerable and have people's knees in your face, and whilst the toddler is with it's parent it would seem sensible to let the adult sit with the child on their lap

I think I would have probably got up for a little todller and her dad...Yes, I think I 0robably would have.

BUt i think you afeeling a bit sensitiuve at the moment OP (totally understandably when on 17 days in!)

It's not like he said "Hurry up and fold the buggy you stupid Bastards, you're holding everyone up"

oh it will be that by the end of the thread lol

So that's the answer is it ? We all have a bad day/personal problems and we can all go round shouting and getting snappy with people ?

No wonder this country is as fucked as it is.

JudysJudgement I'm disgusted at your "Stay Home Then" remark

well thats a bit tough really then isnt it :) because if someone is sooooo tired they have not slept for 17 days - ahem- I am sure they should be at home in bed, or at least on the sofa not traipsing round getting all upset about day to day life

buublecoral - no one has to help. No-one has to hold doors open for others, or say thankyou, or generally give a shit about anyone other than themselves. They could have helped by not pushing and letting a little kid sit down.

You are definitely not being unreasonable. I have this problem all the time, in most buses you can have two or three pushchairs unfolded so it's just a case of luck most of the time and if you come to the point where you can't get on the bus, then you fold it.

I remember a time when I had DS1 (who was 12 weeks at the time) trying to get on the bus with our quite small pushchair and the bus driver telling me to fold it as there was another one on there, I thought fair enough I'll fold it - which of course I struggled with but managed it in the end, only to find that the pushchair on there was a lightweight stroller with no child in it - the mother just simply couldn't be arsed to fold it down. I couldn't believe how rude she was but it was a sign of things to come unfortunately.

Sometimes you can be really lucky and some lovely people will either help you or fold up their pushchairs if their child is older but more often than not people are horrible and rude and make you ashamed to even share the same bus with them!