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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to not leave feedback on ebay because I am being nagged to?

38 replies

Bogeyface · 21/06/2011 22:15

I bought an item off ebay that arrived at DHs work the day I went into labour, so he wasnt there to bring it home. We have all items sent there so there is always someone in to receive them, so as he has had almost 3 weeks off I didnt get the item until yesterday. But twice a week since it was sent I have had reminder emails from the seller saying "please can I have your feed back" and "Further to my numberous other emails, can you please leave feedback" etc. After the first one i emailed back explaining that due to circumstances i may not actually be able to leave feedback for a couple of weeks but would do so as soon as I could, but still the emails kept coming.

Now I dont want to leave fb at all because I really resent being nagged for it, WIBU to not bother? I suppose I could leave neutral along the lines of "good item, good delivery, DONT NAG FOR FB!!!" :o

OP posts:
FabbyChic · 21/06/2011 22:16

Feedback is important for a seller if you are happy with the item why the fuck wont you leave feedback?

Don't leave feedback then and I hope in real life your manners aren't as bad.

AgentZigzag · 21/06/2011 22:18

I wouldn't be leaving it for them.

It's up to the buyer whether they leave fb or not, if the seller was hassling me for it like that I wouldn't bother.

Cheeky fuckers.

ashamedandconfused · 21/06/2011 22:18

I think it is rude to nag for feedback

oneofthosedays · 21/06/2011 22:18

I would say neutral - leaving feedback is helpful but afaik you are not obliged to leave it! I've not left for 1 or 2 items which I wasn't particularly happy with but wasn't technically mis-sold but would have left neutral if nagged. Also had I think, one, not leave feedback for me, I could not be arsed to nag for the feedback!

AgentZigzag · 21/06/2011 22:19

Some peoples lives don't revolve around their ebay accounts fabby, it's got fuck all to do with manners.

hurricanewyn · 21/06/2011 22:20

I wouldn't leave it. In real life, when buying an item the shopkeeper doesn't ring you back twice a week asking if you've recommended the shop to your friends.

This annoys me as well as the sellers who won't leave feedback until you've left yours.

MsTeak · 21/06/2011 22:20

how can you be happy with an item you haven't seen yet, Fabby? Hmm.

You're not obliged to leave any at all, I wouldn't, and I'd tell them why. If they argued, I'd then leave neutral.

Original poster
Bogeyface · 21/06/2011 22:26

I couldnt leave it until yesterday at the earliest Fabby, I could hardly comment on the item until I had seen and tested it could I?! And as I gave birth the day the item arrived at DHs work I think I could be forgiven for not immediately jumping onto the laptop the second the baby was out to get on ebay!

And my manners are fine thank you, yours I find to be lacking.

OP posts:
GreatScottWeDontNeedRoads · 21/06/2011 22:27

I think it was rude of then to nag you after you explained the situation but I do think you should still leave feedback and if it really does bother you that much then add in your comment about the nagging. As someone else said feedback is important for someone selling thing on eBay. I wouldn't buy anything from someone who didn't have any/good feedback so I can understand why the person might have been panicing over it.

ShellyBoobs · 21/06/2011 22:41

Leave them bad feedback. Sellers can't retaliate, can they? Grin

Seriously though, it sounds like they're being reasonably polite even if they are nagging. I'd probably leave them positive feedback and forget about it.

thegruffalosma · 21/06/2011 22:49

I would leave no feedback and email to tell them why. I wouldn't leave negative or neutral as you were happy with the item and it was delivered promptly.

cupnoodle · 21/06/2011 23:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

TragicallyHip · 21/06/2011 23:43

Don't Ebay send out reminders too though?

Maybe they have something set up to send out reminders. Seems a bit extreme to me for someone to constantly send out emails. Do they have a lot of feedback already?

I don't think it would be nice to give neutral/negative feedback unless there was something wrong with the item. Annoying as it may be.

ChantingAsISpeak · 21/06/2011 23:47

I think that as you explained the reason for the delay they shouldn't nag.

However, from a sellers pov - sometimes paypal holds the sellers money until the buyer leaves FB, that can be a real pain if you really need the money urgently.

LolaRennt · 21/06/2011 23:49

Feed back is a nice thing but you are not obligated and the seller was very rude. I wouldn't leave any and I would tell them why. TBH I would be tempted to leave neg feedback explaing the hassle.

TragicallyHip · 21/06/2011 23:57

ChantingAsISpeak Do they do that? I have never had that happen.

emmanana · 21/06/2011 23:58

Move on. Enjoy your newborn, rather than worrying about a couple of lines of text.

emmanana · 22/06/2011 00:18

Hope you didn't think I was being sarcastic Bogey, ignore them, don't leave them feedback, just spend he time giving your little one a long cuddle and inhaling that gorgeous new baby smell!

A1980 · 22/06/2011 00:44

That is ridiculous to demand feedback.

I had similar a couple of years ago when I bought a second hand book. It was in nowhere near as good condition as described by the seller, it was very old and the spine was peeling off and the whole thing was in danger of falling apart accoridngly. Seller also over charged for postage given the amount of stamps on the envelope that had clearly been used before. I can never be arsed to leave feedback and thought at least i have the book I wanted.

But then the seller asked for feedback, so I left negative feedback and said what i said above........! I trust he was happy he asked me to leave it as I wouldn't have bothered if he hadn't hassled me. Grin

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 22/06/2011 01:17

Chanting is correct TragicallyHip. PayPal has a policy of witholding buyers' payments to new and low feedback sellers for 21 days after date of payment particularly if the item is high risk (mobile phones electronic goods etc) and/or high cost, and will only release the money earlier if the buyer has left positive feedback.

If the item is as described I see no reason why you should leave anything other than positive feedback Bogey and, out of curiousity, much did you pay for the item?

Original poster
Bogeyface · 22/06/2011 01:26

out of curiousity, much did you pay for the item?

I am not sure that thats relevant izzy and I am sure that it is my business!
But I didnt know about the witholding payment thing and it is for a mobile phone as it goes and the seller has 15 feedback (one neg but thats sounded like a loon which is why I was happy to bid). But I would have been alot more understanding about their request if they had mentioned that their payment was being witheld rather than just nagging.

And I have just checked and something that should have been sent with the item wasnt sent, which I wouldnt have realised if I hadnt been about to leave fb and checked the item description first. As with A1980, their nagging actually dropped themselves in it!

OP posts:
Triphop · 22/06/2011 02:09

It is incredibly rude to nag for feedback. Especially after you explained why you wouldn't be able to leave it for two weeks or so. You completed your end of the bargain when you paid for the item, anything else you choose to do on feedback is your call.

eBay sellers can be needier than toddlers. You were selling it. I bought it. You sent it. Now go away and leave me alone!! We're done here.

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 22/06/2011 02:12

I asked because if the item had cost a tenner or so it would have been unreasonable for a seller to nag for feedback, but I'm sure you can see that if payment for an expensive item such as a mobile phone is withheld for a minimum of 3 weeks it can cause financial hardship to the seller.

In any event, as it seems that the seller will now have received your payment, I would suggest you wait to leave feedback until you have received the 'something' in the item's description that the seller overlooked when sending the phone.

Although my house is overflowing with all sorts of goodies that need to find new homes for f but I wouldn't consider selling on eBay because of unreasonable buyers who leave feedback before giving sellers a chance to rectify any problem and those who, as you have said, have left feedback that indicates they are a loon.

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 22/06/2011 02:15

O dear - it must be late.

Please substitute "all sorts of goodies that I need to find new homes for but" for the mess I've made of the above.

TotemPole · 22/06/2011 02:20

Contact them soon to say there's something missing so they have time to respond before you raise an SNAD(significantly not as described) dispute. I think it's 45 days from purchase.

When you emailed them back to say you wouldn't be able to leave feedback due to circumstances, did you explain the details that even though the items had arrived you hadn't had chance to check them due to giving birth and the items not being at your home? If not, a lot of people would have the attitude that you have time to email so why not just leave feedback.

15 is quite low feedback, so newish seller. I'd give them chance to sort out the problem with the item, if that goes ok leave a positive.