To think the bf flash mob thing that is happening on Friday is a bit smug?

[Piggyleroux]

I bf my 15 mo ds and found bf quite straightforward from the off. I am aware that I was extremely lucky and I know a lot of women really struggle with it. I am also aware that bfing rates in this country are among the lowest in europe.

However, I think bfing needs to be normalised and I feel that this demonstration only serves to sensationalise bfing and imo, make the women taking part seem a bit smug and 'look at me' iyswim and just make people who ff feel even more shit.

Wouldnt it be better for bfing women to openly bf in public rather than do a mass gathering on one day? It really doesn't sit ring with me and I don't think that it will change attitudes or help women who really struggle with bfing.

Aibu?

manic, I only planned to feed to at least 2, as is recommended. We stopped at 2 years and 10 months, as I am pregnant the change in hormones made bf uncomfortable for me and seemed to affect supply too. We'd been down to one morning feed a day for some months at that point.

Tinewasting, both an ignorant and intrusive question here so feel free to ignore and apologies if I offend but never having BF I'm confused. I can see why BF would be physically uncomfortable for a pregnant woman but may I ask please why the change in hormones has made it so?

Hormones making your nipples sensitive I assume - mine were really sore all through my pregnancy and I wasn't breastfeeding anyone

Yep, made them more sensitive. It was really irritating.
If he'd been younger I'd have grimaced and beared it but that age was the timeframe I'd had in mind to stop I guess.

mine were like belisha beacons when I was pg and I have never BF in my life, so I dont envy you at all TW!!

Ahhhh! Of course! Thank you, I told you I was a thick blonde, didn't I!

I don't know if that's how it is for all pregnant bf-ers though, everyone gets pg symptoms differently after all.

Mila - I don't disagree with you in the slightest re the wider issue of healthy food choices and the impact it's having on public health. I am quite precious about what I feed my two and McDs isn't part of the diet.

But it's two sides of the same coin and I don't see how you can be so engaged and active on one issue and yet seemingly wanting people to shut up on the other...

Like b/feeding, food in general can see quite a significant class divide. It tends to be (although by no means exclusively) more middle class, and crucially, better off parents who feed their DC a better diet.

There are loads and loads of parents (let's be honest, Mums) who have never really had much exposure to fresh food, cooking from scratch and nutrition in general. There are plenty who probably find it much cheaper to go down the processed, junk food route. Many who might not have the confidence to pick up a cook book and learn for themselves. Maybe they don't have the time - they're working full time and it wears them out, so ready-meals are easier. It frees up time for them to spend with their family, and you know, 'happy mummy = happy baby/child/teen'... And if you live somewhere where fresh food and home cooking is not widespread then a). you're never exposed to it and b). so much less likely to try it yourself.

You probably know it's better for your kids, but you just don't know how to go about doing it, and don't have any practical support in helping you do it.

So someone coming along and telling them they should be feeding their DC better food is only going to make them feel guilty and like they're not doing their best. God knows Jamie Oliver gets called smug for doing just that all the time, and we all recall those contrary-for-the-sake-of-it Mums shoving chips through the school railings when he tried to improve school dinners.

Don't you see the parallels? I'm not saying we shouldn't continue to push fresh food and the concept of cooking from scratch on people. We should - of course we should.

But if we agree that this is the right thing to do - and it is - then how can you be so seemingly against people promoting breastfeeding for babies as their first food in life?

If it's right to stick our nose into other people's dietary habits, then surely it's right to do so when it comes to babies' very first sole nutrition.

I honestly don't see how you can actively support one side of the coin, without also supporting the other and not be hypocritical.

Surely at its base level, this is what the bf flashmob is all about.

Timewaster - I get what you are saying, and that you don't mind anyone looking. that's fine, good for you. But there are lots of people out there who feel self conscious about it. I think that it is one of the big issues that young mums have with BFing. So I think it might be more helpful if it was a case of 'this is a normal and cheap way to feed your baby,and nobody should bat an eyelid', with a disclaimer that if it doesn't work out or you just don't want to, then formula is also perfectly adequate instead!

Because Bf is generally for the first few months after birth and a general diet is for the rest of one's life?

A 90 year old is not going to have health problems relating to whether she was BF or not but she might well have health problems relating to the 89 years she fed on a fast food diet.

What a load of rubbish. Breastfeeding mothers are using one of the only ways available to get the message out into the mainstream that it is okay to breastfeed in public. Have any of the people who have written that this IS smug, read some of the very anti-breastfeeding comments after such articles as the recent situation where a mother was asked to face a wall in a library whilst breastfeeding? It's not pretty! I've read some horrible comments by people who are very anti-breastfeeding. Let's face it, we are the bottle-fed generation. Breastfeeding in public is not 'normal' in the western sense and a hell of a lot of mothers actually stop breastfeeding or never start for fear of public attitudes to them. This is very sad, for the mothers and for the babies who will never receive the breast milk their bodies needed to be the best they were meant to be. We should support these mothers in the spirit it is intended and seek support for our own unresolved issues if we find we are feeling so strongly about the choices other mothers are making. Get off your pedestal love! Smug! Not a chance - they wont be thinking about the mothers who formula feed but of the mothers who want to breastfeed but receive no support!!! (FWIW - I am not attending the flash mob myself because it is too far to travel with children but I wholly support the courage of these mothers).

A few years ago some women won the right to vote for us mothers - one of them even chained herself to some railings and these mothers were villified too though they changed things in the end - let's unite and support each other, we all want the best world possible for our children and if we want to change these lingering victorian attitudes (breastfeeding = exhibitionism) then mothers need to stop judging each other!

For those people who breastfed/are breastfeeding 1 and 2 year olds, at what age do you plan to/did you stop? Will it be a natural decline or will you have to make a decision to stop?

I've planned to follow them. It does decline naturally as more important things are happening and they lose interest. I can't say we will stop naturally as I may have had enough one day or circumstances will take it beyond my control.

I can see why BF would be physically confused. I can see why BF would be physically uncomfortable for a pregnant woman but may I ask please why the change in hormones has made it so? uncomfortable for a pregnant woman but may I uncomfortable for a pregnant woman but may I ask please why the change in hormones has made it so?

Hormones do too things first the changes in the nipples makes them tender and sensitive so latching can be uncomfortable to painful and secondly it causes contractions which again can be mild BH to feeling like you're in labour.

But Ivor we're talking about the very first sole food a baby is fed for the first months of its life. I don't see how you can say that is inconsequential.

And you know what - evolutionarily speaking, we have no way of knowing yet what the true, long-term effects are on feeding our babies another species' processed milk.

FF has been wide-spread since, what, the 1930s? 1940? This is a mere blip on a blip on a blip of time in the history of human existence. We have been here for millennia and we honestly have no way of knowing yet (and may well not for 1000s of years) what the long-term effect is of babies not drinking their own species' milk as their first food in life, when so much crucial development is still going on in their brains and bodies.

Is it a coincidence that obesity has become more widespread in the same coinciding years that formula has been widely used? 'I'm not saying formula is the cause of this, but maybe it is a contributing factor.

naffala, You are not being much of an example are you to ' the mothers and for the babies who will never receive the breast milk their bodies needed to be the best they were meant to be.'

It's precisely people like you who put people off!

Wanksock, I don't really disagree with what you've said there, but no one batting an eyelid is quite different to no one noticing.

Ivor, babies used to be fed sweetened condensed milk, lacking in vitamins and as a consequence went blind, developed rickets etc. Modern formula is better nutritionally, but not being bf certainly made a difference to those children's lives.

Yes 5 Dollar, most of us are agreed that of course it is best BUT to say FF has consequences as such has also not been proved has it?
What detrimental effects can you honestly write down here that FF has on a well looked after baby? How many babies do you know who have suffered literally from being FF?

How soon did your child reach the milestones?
How often was she ill?
Shall we compare now a FF baby and your own - you might be surprised that actually FF is not poison!

Ivor - I've never said it's poison?

My point is really to Mila, who is seemingly so engaged and active with one part of the issue, and yet always comes onto these threads to shut breastfeeders up by levelling the 'smug' accusation at them, and for telling them to let people choose for themselves.

I find that really hypocritical.

Right - I have to go out! Tis morning where I am. :)

Am I evil for laughing at "being sad for the babies who will never receive the breast milk their bodies needed to be the best they were meant to be"?

I mean, good thing we're not judging each other

There are many risks to formula feeding Ivor, but surely you already know that?

This whole bf = smug business is really starting to piss me off

I don't think that the people I know who bf are smug ,but then they don't see the need to flashmob about it

Ivor, if something is better, that means the alternative is worse. FF isn't poison, but it isn't as... optimal.
The incidence of gastroenteritis among infants is much higher in ff babies for instance.

Some ff babies will be perfectly healthy, some bf babies will be poorly, but in general whole population terms, ff babies are more likely to get ill.

Well I'm tired. I am pregnant and due again in October and this thread is making me pretty sick.

I have a good understanding thanks Rita. I come from a family of Dr's and medical background. I hope you are not tring to patronise me?

Well you have sucessfully made me feel sick with all your comments which has just put me even more off wanted to be one of those wanna be middle class mums who think they are better than everyone else because they BF.

Well done.

I hope others don't get as pissed off with you as I have.

Dogs, my point was - if you'd not selectively quoted - that women are supported in their choice. I went on to explain how undermined my hard work and weeks of getting my premature baby to breastfeed was when I was in the community. That's what bothers me. I even posted that I don't care what choices people make and I'm not interested in swaying choices. The drop off rate does not suggest people are getting support in the community and the hideous myths you see and hear being perpetuated by Health Visitors and GPs doesn't suggest people are being supported or getting informed choice. The amount of "I had to change to formula because my HV/ GP said..." that you know is total rubbish but why shouldn't you believe you HV/ GP is telling you the truth? As I said, I knew mine didn't know what she was talking about but she has registered a child protection warning on that child's file at the drs! How is that supported or informed choice?

So your assertion you weren't picking on me is a little lost when you misquote me enough to make it sound like I said the opposite of what I did.