to wonder why lesbians go for women that look like men?

[carriedababi]

surely if you fancy women you'd want to go out with a woman that looked like \ woman not a man.
nothing against gay/lesbians at all.

but this seems a bit strange to me

"So I'm with the OP - how come some perfectly ordinary lesbians hook up with the ugliest, butchest women they can find? Why not just go for a bloke?"

Err, That'll be because beneath the butch "look" everyone else sees is a women. How offensive is that statement (and I am not easily offended!) Lesbians obviously fancy women and have sex with women, and are actually capable of knowing that butch lesbians are women. And those "ugliest butchest lesbians" are obviously beautiful lesbians and wonderful loving partners.

''how come some perfectly ordinary lesbians hook up with the ugliest, butchest women they can find? Why not just go for a bloke?" What a foul, repulsive statement

My cousin is a lesbian and is also one who chooses to dress and act in what could be called a very 'manly' fashion. But she's bloody lovely and ten times the person than someone who can make a crass, crap statement like that. She has a partner who is stereotypically 'pretty and feminine' who loves my cousin and doesn't see a 'butch ugly woman'.

I shaved my head for years and have tattoos, and got slapped with various labels by people who never even knew a thing about me.
As I said earlier, of the lesbian couples I know, there has been a high percentage with one of the partners being, as would perhaps be described, of a masculine appearance but apart from a curious observation I would never, ever question their sexuality or assume they should choose a man instead, What a complete load of bollocks.

DD wants a harness for her hamster Lenin and a lot of people take Ferrets for a walk around here....

I think there are a number of things going of here.

1. I do think there are more lesbians that don't bother with the make up, high heels, etc. This is for a number of reasons including the influence of feminism about acceptable dress, a rejection of girly things, etc.

1. There are fashions in the lesbian community as there is anywhere. So where I live there seems to be a fashion of a particular hair cut amongst young lesbians - shortish but styled layering. In areas with smaller lesbian communities,particular fashions can have a bigger influence.

So I remember advising a friend newly on the scene when we were going out to dress slightly differently if she wanted to have more chance of pulling.

1. A smaller number of women do dress very butch. This isn't trying to look like a man as IMO butch women do not look like men. The attraction to butch women often involves an admiration of strength and confidence - bit hard to explain, although I am attracted and with a butch woman.

But saying it is like trying to look like a man, would be like saying men with long hair are trying to look like a woman.

1. There are lots of very ordinary looking women who are lesbians that you may not know are lesbians. Many lesbians do not go out to clubs. Some will sadly not be out even to friends. Generally Butch women are out about their sexuality. IME some feminine women are out, but some are not.

1. The lesbian community has always consisted of some transgendered women/men as well i.e. women who think they are in the wrong body and are really a man. In a very few areas there is a separate transgendered community. But in most places there are simply too few women who feel like this to make a community. These women are trying to look like men as they believe they are really a man.

1. Sadly some lesbians do have quite a sexist misogynistic view and value male traits, etc over female ones. These lesbians won't actually try to look like men, but don't want to look like women. IME they tend to try and achieve an androgynous look.

Hey, it's a sudden lesbian invasion

Why ladies, hello [bats lashes]

One of my good friends is a lesbian and I swear she is the prettiest, girliest, most style conscious girl I know, her DP is also very pretty, girly and stylish.

My best friend is a lesbian as well, she's a little more tom boyish but not really masculine, has a figure to die for, wouldn't dream of leaving the house without make up on and goes for very feminine girls.

I was going to ignore this thread, but couldn't let this one go

"And TBH I can't see a straight woman dressing like a butch lesbian - why would she? She'd never find a man, unless she stumbled across a man whose idea of sexy was someone who looked like Bernard Manning."

a) People dress in all sorts of ways, for all sorts of reasons
b) Not everyone dresses the way they do just to attract other people
c) Beauty is subjective
d) "Sexy"? Is that the only quality that is important in attracting others?
e) Is your definition of fashion so rigid? Are you aware that is has been socially accepted for women to cut their hair short and wear trousers since the 20's?

Dare I ask your opinion on feminine men? Or do you apply the same logic? That they can only be dressing feminine in order to attract men?

As for the comparison with small yappy dogs and guinea pigs, well done, you have unwittingly hit the nail on the head. Why would someone get a small dog rather than a guinea pig? Oh I don't know, maybe because they are totally different species who still share more characteristics with their own species than one that is (in your opinion anyway) similar in appearance alone.

But OP is right that there are some lesbians who are butch. Although she doesn't understand that they are not trying to look like a man.

Hello hester! There are quite a few of us on here really.

I fancy Bernard Manning - especially as a woman - grrrr

Really not funny.

Hi Lesley
[lights the candles, puts the bubbly on ice, plots to transform thread into lesbian flirt zone]

Yes a lesbian invasion sounds fun!

where do I sign?

So: I'll play Sister George, who wants to be Bernard?

ha ha , this is hilarious; I actually think that the mn lesbians have invaded this thread. I love it when that happens...

< bats lashes > why hellloooooo!

i'll be bernard, pregnancy is having that effect on my waistline...