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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you be offended if you were invited to our wedding and we did not

69 replies

cupcakesyum · 19/06/2011 10:19

have the traditional wedding breakfast.

The reason being ,we dont want tradition in our wedding or speeches ,we want it to be very relaxed and informal.

We are planning to marry later in the day,and the wedding ceremony and eve is in one place,after we would offer drinks,canapes sandwiches,then wedding cake.

What are your thoughts,thanks in advance Mnetters I know you wont hold backGrin.

OP posts:
AttillaTheMum · 19/06/2011 10:20

not at all. It's your wedding and itd not that contraversial!

soverylucky · 19/06/2011 10:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheMonster · 19/06/2011 10:21

no, not at all.

ChristinedePizan · 19/06/2011 10:22

Not remotely. I've been to weddings like that

Soups · 19/06/2011 10:22

Sounds great :)

firesoup · 19/06/2011 10:23

sounds lovely, but might be an idea to let your guests know so they are not expecting a big sit down meal

FriskyMare · 19/06/2011 10:24

I think so long as your guests know what food is on offer then fine, you don't want hungry guests leaving early or getting too pissed. Congratulations and have a lovely day!

Pagwatch · 19/06/2011 10:24

Not at all.

I think I would be grateful to know in advance that there will be no speeches/formality. Only because there is a routine to weddings which give us kind of clues about what will happen next etc. It would avoid me for example thinking I better no head off to pee because they might be about to start the toasts and speeches iyswim.

But in terms of enjoying it etc no, informal sounds fine Smile

blackeyedsusan · 19/06/2011 10:24

mmmmm canapes....

I would let it be known around the family what you were planning (most families have one aunt they tell which ensures everyone gets to know Wink )

sounds lovely...

my opinion is that it is your wedding, your style.. but parents can get a bit ermmm stressy about this or that...

justpaddling · 19/06/2011 10:25

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MollysChamber · 19/06/2011 10:25

No that's sounds lovely. I think you have to give an indication in the invitations that that's the plan. Don't want rumbling stomachs drowning out the music!

BluddyMoFo · 19/06/2011 10:25

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thumbwitch · 19/06/2011 10:26

Yes, what firesoup says - so long as you WARN people that they're not getting a full meal, it's not a problem. Otherwise some people will "save themselves" for a dinner that never arrives.

Include the schedule in your wedding invitation so that people know what's happening - that will make everyone's life easier (I did this but for different reasons)

ginmakesitallok · 19/06/2011 10:27

I wouldn't be offended - I might be pretty hungry though

MrsDmitriTippensKrushnic · 19/06/2011 10:27

I actually have no idea what a Wedding Breakfast is, so I doubt I'd be offended. It's your Wedding, do it how you wish, just make sure that if you do something very different you communicate it to your guests. There's nothing worse than going somewhere and not knowing what's expected of you and what you're supposed to be doing!

LRDTheFeministDragon · 19/06/2011 10:28

Sounds lovely! Just make sure people know and don't expect them to be there for hours overlapping with normal meal times - eg. if you have the wedding at 4 and expect them to be there until 10pm, they will be starving and pissed! But you said it'd be later on so I'm guessing there will be time ffor them to get a meal beforehand?

Congratulations!

surfandturf · 19/06/2011 10:29

I've been to a few weddings over the last few years where at about 9pm in the evening there were bacon butties and hot dogs served - cheap and they went down a treat!!!!! Smile

Definately do what you want. We were railroaded with our wedding plans and my mum had her perfect day Angry

Have a a fab time!

Original poster
cupcakesyum · 19/06/2011 10:30

Sorry there will be canapes and drinks ,sandwiches,cake and a full buffett on spread in the day after we ar e married,then another buffett in the evening.

OP posts:
justpaddling · 19/06/2011 10:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

oneofthosedays · 19/06/2011 10:32

we did this, last wedding of the day at the registry office and down to the function room for reception drinks, DH did a quick speech (pressies for bridesmaid (DD) and flowers for mothers) then buffet and disco. Was nice and relaxed.

FetchezLaVache · 19/06/2011 10:33

It sounds lovely, and why should you follow a certain formula you're not keen on, just because it's traditional or expected? However, I think the food thing could be a mistake. Even if people have a big lunch, they are not going to last from 4pm until, say, midnight, on a few canapés and sarnies. As others have said, you'll either have a load of pissed people or a mass exodus at about 8pm...

TidyDancer · 19/06/2011 10:33

I wouldn't be at all offended, but I would make it clear when you invite people that there is no sit down meal. Some people expect it, no matter what time of day you get married, and the last thing you want is moaning and very drunk guests!

AuntiePickleBottom · 19/06/2011 10:35

alot of people have said to me, my wedding was the best wedding they had been to.

i got married at 12, then had a hog roast in the day time, then a buffet in the evening.

i had no seating plans ect, and it was a relaxed day.

Original poster
cupcakesyum · 19/06/2011 10:44

Sorry we are not having it spread over two days its all in one day,my plans are as follows.

1- Greet guests before wedding with canapes and a drink

2- Civil ceremony then a glass of champers

3- Buffett straight after civil ceremony,and wine(waiter may go round topping up drinks not sure yet]? .

2- Evening do with disco and another buffett

OP posts:
MollysChamber · 19/06/2011 10:47

Are you having photo's? They take a while. You'll need to leave time for them. Don't want to arrive back to the buffet and it's all been scoffed!

Been to plenty of weddings where it's a buffet rather than a sit down. Can't see anyone having a problem with it.