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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask does Breastfeeding need promoting?

134 replies

mummamizz · 18/06/2011 20:25

It's a bit of a follow on from the thread about the controversial "apple dumplings" Anyone who wants to watch it it's here

If your answer is yes Why? How would you personally do it? What message would you want to get across? Do you think advertising would make a difference?

OP posts:

TheCountessOlenska · 19/06/2011 11:35

I am the "normal" person from the other thread

Will come back when I've thought of something constructive to add!

pingu2209 · 19/06/2011 11:37

So Puzzle all of the women you know who breastfed did it because it was easy and not hard at all? Okay, what of all the women you know who did not breast feed? I assume it was because it was hard? Of all the women you know, which percentage breast fed?

Puzzle - I am not wanting an argument - but I know I am right. Most people find it very hard and need a lot of support. The rare ones find it easy - just as rare as the ones who find it impossible - literally impossible -

PuzzleRocks · 19/06/2011 11:37

You wont hear from people who found it easy because by and large they are met with angry posts such as yours and accused of smuggery. I am sorry you had a hard time, that is horrid and I feel very strongly that women should not be made to feel bad, but your experience is not everyones.

PuzzleRocks · 19/06/2011 11:42

One of my sisters is the only woman I know who didn't. She didn't want to for her own private reasons and so never tried.

pingu2209 · 19/06/2011 11:45

It is not my own experience. Just as your opinion is not just based on your own experience.

My argument though is "why does most of this thread push for support? If it was easy for most, support would not be required."

Therefore, I 100% believe my opinion is correct and you have just been very lucky to meet women who can breastfeed easily.

faverolles · 19/06/2011 11:46

Pingu - actually, most women I knew have found it easy. They stopped for various reasons but most of them not because it was hard.
In the past, women grew up around breastfeeding women, they had endless support in the shape of mothers, aunts, grandmothers, who not only advised on BFing, but also allowed the new mother to rest, to recover from the birth.
Midwives at the time were not medically trained, but were vastly experienced, and at risk of harking on about TT, it was common for a midwife to keep their little fingernail king and sharp to snip a TT shortly after birth.
Nowadays, we don't have that level of support. Problems go undiagnosed because breastfeeding problems aren't seen as important by doctors.
Pingu, I'm really sorry you've had a bad experience of this, but it is not normal to have that level of difficulty unless there are underlying problems.

faverolles · 19/06/2011 11:51

long and sharp

PuzzleRocks · 19/06/2011 11:52

Whatever Pingu, I'm not trying to win some battle with you. My point was that it may not be the best idea to suggest that it is always going to be difficult. It is for some but not for all. Are you going to jump all over me again. Sheesh.

Lunabelly · 19/06/2011 11:53

Oh and CurlyGirly, forgot to add - glad it's not just me who got the boob grab! Most disconcerting, escpecially when DD was quite happily latched on (this was prior to milk-coming-in tits-upness and sore nipple agony)...I think she needed to tick her [] spoken to all new mothers [] box.

No-one's accusing anyone of smuggery, just pointing out that there is a faction (not necessarily here but in that real world thing ) who, in order to promote BF, either deliberately or through thoughtlessness, belittle FFing mums. I've come close to stand up rows with some of the more forthright BF cheerleaders ladies in my family for snide little comments about me FF.

thefurryone · 19/06/2011 11:55

Totally agree with those calling for more support over more promotion. My DS is 7 weeks old and BF is still a struggle although getting better, I've had to start to mix feed to help get through the pain and preserve my sanity.

In hospital there was lots of help but due to shift changes and not always even seeing the same midwife during a shift it got a bit confusing and I didn't really know which end was up.

Since then I've found getting support less than easy, the group run by the community midwives & health visitors isn't great,first time was ok but last time it was staffed but a student who wouldn't say boo to a goose and a health visitor who was giving out advice about topping up and weaning at 4 months.

I have found a great group run by a lactation consultant but that is only once a fortnight, and it won't run in July. Hopefully my lingering issues will be cleared up by then.

The only thing keeping me going is ibuprofen and bloody mindedness. I know many others who have given up because of the limited help and who can blame them their babies need to be fed. These are first time mums who probably won't try again.

BumWiper · 19/06/2011 11:55

I have EBF 3 DC and combined fed 1 DC.I don't think BF'ing makes as much difference as some would like to believe.
I also hate this breast versus bottle nonsense.Each to their own,I certainly would not like to force or make a woman feel forced into BF'ing.Formula is not going to cause children to become drug afddicts/serial killers/pyschopaths.Just as breast milk won't prevent it.

I'm going to be shot by the Formula=crack brigade but trith be told I preferred feeding with formula.

Lunabelly · 19/06/2011 11:55

Faverolle - king/long = fecking autocorrect?

My MiL's TT was snipped on the kitchen table when she was about two. meep

PuzzleRocks · 19/06/2011 11:59

King/long. Either way it sounds scary.

TheCountessOlenska · 19/06/2011 11:59

Pingu - I take support to mean reassurance that breast feeding is going well. I think a lot of people give up not because they find it physically hard but because they doubt baby is getting enough from them (constant feeding in the early days, growth spurts, not sleeping though, MIL's saying are you sure he's getting enough, HVs obsession with expressing and formula top ups, etc)

As a society I don't think we have any confidence in breast feeding. I wonder who benefits most from that? (cough- formula companies- cough)

PuzzleRocks · 19/06/2011 12:01

Exactly.

StealthPolarBear · 19/06/2011 12:03

"It is quite RARE for it to be easy. A Lot of people are tied to the house, extremely tired etc. That is why there are so many threads about needing support."

Pingu - don't you think the numbers of threads about needing support are a self-selecting sample somewhat?
I could have started threads sayinf "bfing going well"...."bfing still going fine" but didn't - why would I have needed to?

faverolles · 19/06/2011 12:06

"I also hate this breast versus bottle nonsense.Each to their own,I certainly would not like to force or make a woman feel forced into BF'ing.Formula is not going to cause children to become drug afddicts/serial killers/pyschopaths.Just as breast milk won't prevent it."

Bumwiper - no-ones said that at all . No-one should be forced into doing anything they don't want to do, but if a mother chooses to breastfeed her baby (note I say chooses) she should get all the support she needs to ensure that happens. And that's simply not happening.
Please don't make this into another extreme BF/FF bunfight.

fatlazymummy · 19/06/2011 12:07

I actually agree with pingu. I think the majority of mothers do find feeding with formula easier. That's why I fed my 2nd and 3rd this way from birth.
Sterilising and making up bottles isn't a 'faff' at all. Sitting on the settee all evening without a bra on, crusty bleeding nipples and a baby that doesn't settle for more than 1/2 hour is.
Fair play to those who did find breastfeeding easy and convenient but I think many people don't.

Lunabelly · 19/06/2011 12:08

The formula companies may well eat little kittens for their tea benefit, but without it, I think I would have topped meself once all the problems both BF and PND kicked in. If FF hadn't existed I would have bought a cow, tbh.

Mum's elderly neighbour told me (when DD1 was born) how she and all her neighbours would sit in a circle drinking tea, gossiping, smoking!!! (still in shock there) and BFing.

faverolles · 19/06/2011 12:09

"King/long. Either way it sounds scary. "

:o
given the choice though, I'd rather have had it snipped straight away than go through 12 weeks of pain and weirdy nipples!

PuzzleRocks · 19/06/2011 12:12

The benefit of breastfeeding is you have a hand free to hold your fag.

RitaMorgan · 19/06/2011 12:13

I think most women do find it fairly easy, but it's easy if you have support. I didn't have any major problems like cracked nipples or mastitis, and was very lucky to come from a breastfeeding family.

Women who don't have support/knowledge/experience within their own families need that from the NHS.

Even without any medical issues, women need someone to give them the hints and tips you gain from actually doing it, tell them they're doing well, spot any problems before they become major and reassure them what normal newborn behaviour is. Lots of women don't have mothers or sisters who can fulfil that role.

TheCountessOlenska · 19/06/2011 12:14

Lunabelly sounds like fun to me!

PuzzleRocks · 19/06/2011 12:14

That's a very good point.

soverylucky · 19/06/2011 12:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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