to wonder when the following took place and why did noone tell me?

[StealthPolarBear]

For about the first 30 years of my life, 'source' was almost exclusively a noun. Now it's almost exclusively used as a verb - why?

Which "Little book of management crap" decided that the new way to say "From now" or "In the future" is "Moving forward". If I hear it one more time I will scream and pull my hair out. Which other way would we be moving, when it comes to time?

From some people I work with.

"moving up the sexy ladder" - to describe something more interesting
"are we snorkelling or deep sea diving here" - to ask how much detail was needed
"uber lovey rainmaking" - interesting project
"management bandwith" - time

However, the closest my boss comes to telling you off for something is

"I warmly encourage you to be a little introspective about why that didn't happen"

lambzig - how do you stop yourself punching them in the face?

Good question PD.

I suspect I'd be fired for hysterical laughter at rubbish like that!

Before we escalate this, or go and get a hunting licence, we need to go in and lift up her skirts; there may be a trendbreak here, but we're not pregnant with this yet, and we've seen this movie before.

Am trying to introduce some more female-friendly catch phrases into the work place, but not catching on any time soon...

Female friendly as in *> Sarah Palin (hunting!)

My team have been moved under a different directory

This doesnt involve any actual moving BTW.

I have had several meeting with the new manager.

I have understood about 30% of what she said.

It may not suprise you do know that I work in local government/education/health.

I also receive several emails per day containing more abbreviations and ancronyms than actual words.

I am so glad I only work two days per week.

I just made a LOT of mistakes in that post. Put it down to stress (or something)

I have been known to snort with derision or laugh openly. Have plenty of sane people to snigger with.

From this morning:

"sustainability for us is not a bar of soap"

My DH has 'ideation sessions' - I have slapped him and reminded him who he once was.

in my department (legal) we often make sure our arguments are "weapons grade" or have been "weaponized".

i have the urge to get stabby when i hear it.

from a form DH (vicar) had to fill in - speaking prophetically against the prevailing culture - worse than management speak - Christian management speak

DM me and we'll take this offline where we can do some helicopter thinking whilst horizon scanning. we'll then work it up. we do need to watch out for the elephant in the room. then we can create a synergistic environment which will incentivise our colleagues to improve service delivery which can only improve the healthcare continuum.

arf - this thread is reminding me why i quit working in an office. you couldn't pay me enough money to sit through another 'change management' meeting

I have argued many times against 'down-dating' where you are decreasing a figure, because obviously 'updating' always means you are increasing something. I also hate incentivise. Fortunately not used at work as we are never offered incentives!!

helicopter thinking makes me think of Inspector Gadget. My problem with ridiculous jargon is that I get distracted from the topic trying to suppress the mental images it creates. I'll miss a minute of meeting chat thinking about inspector gadget etc.

madmouse my friend who was a vicar (and is now and archdeacon - my mum is beside herself that I know an archdeacon but thats another story) showed me her vicar issue diary once. I had lots of helpful notes about visiting The Sick and The Whole

The Whole

We will kick the machine into gear

Apparently you 'ping' your collegue an email. What's wrong with 'sending'?

colleague

Let's put this in the seed tray and see if the budgie pecks it

We need to spank the monkey

Let's optimise the traction

This will be in the toaster by teatime

Fly or get off the runway

.

We all just have to learn to work "smarter, not harder" people...

No, we just have to work harder since you cut our staffing allocation in half you dozy bint....

"We need to spank the monkey"!!!!!!!

What kind of office do you work in "older"?

In what way is 'many thanks' passive aggressive when used in an email?

I use "Thanks/Thank you" and know what she means. "You should ahve done this, why the &%$£ wasn't this done in time? Many thanks"