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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder when the following took place and why did noone tell me?

219 replies

StealthPolarBear · 15/06/2011 21:45

For about the first 30 years of my life, 'source' was almost exclusively a noun. Now it's almost exclusively used as a verb - why?

Which "Little book of management crap" decided that the new way to say "From now" or "In the future" is "Moving forward". If I hear it one more time I will scream and pull my hair out. Which other way would we be moving, when it comes to time?

OP posts:
Alldownhillnow · 16/06/2011 22:49

Overheard my DH saying that they were going to 'solutionize' the issue.

argh!

DaisySteiner · 16/06/2011 22:51

Oh gawd, reflection, just had to write a whole fucking essay on that shit. I am now reflecting on my feelings of loathing and murderous intent towards Christopher Johns. What a pile of utter crap.

moondog · 16/06/2011 22:53

I've been told I work too fast and don't 'reflect' enopugh.

Publci sector employee natuarally.
Heaven forbid anyone actually priritises the job they are paid to do over thier own feelings Hmm

moondog · 16/06/2011 22:54

Solutioinise?

The man needs to be shot at dawn.That is beyod the plae.What does he do? Grin

DaisySteiner · 16/06/2011 23:02

Oh moondog, tut tut. How will you make sense of your experiences and know yourself fully if you don't reflect? You will never be able to solve the problems of the swampy lowland without reflection....

moondog · 16/06/2011 23:09
Grin
moondog · 16/06/2011 23:10

These azre my favourite management mantras

Parkinson's First Law: Work expands to fill the time available.
Parkinson's Second Law: Expenditures rise to meet income.
Parkinson's Third Law: Expansion means complexity; and complexity decay.
Parkinson's Fourth Law: The number of people in any working group tends to increase regardless of the amount of work to be done.
Parkinson's Fifth Law: If there is a way to delay an important decision the good bureaucracy, public or private, will find it.
Parkinson's Law of Sience: The progress of science varies inversely with the number of journals published.
Parkinson's Law of Delay: Delay is the deadliest form of denial.
Parkinson's Law of Data: Data expands to fill the space available.
Parkinson's Law of Meetings: The time spent in a meeting on an item is inversely propotional to its value (up to a limit).
Parkinson's Law of 1000: An enterprise employing more than 1000 people becomes a self-perpetuating empire, creating so much internal work that it no longer needs any contact with the outside world.

ReachingoutwithKR · 16/06/2011 23:11

'With many kind regards' - as if your basic regards are not good enough!

'grow the business' - what with? fertiliser?

'I will reach out to the team' - why not just talk to them??

We too have a 'balance scorecard' - I thought this was just text book stuff to study for management exams, didn't realise it had a practical application?

I'm sure there's more, I've been nodding in happy (well, slightly pissed) recognition all through the thread :)

moondog · 16/06/2011 23:13

An alcohol fuzz often only way to tolerate such banalities.
Excellent idea.

dearprudence · 16/06/2011 23:17

I once received an 'I don't think we should see each other any more' letter from a (quite casual) boyfriend when I was about 20. He was a bit older. He signed off 'kind regards, Chris'. The tit.

It was the first time I'd heard the phrase and I thought it was the wankiest thing I'd ever read. I've never really shaken that feeling.

Alldownhillnow · 16/06/2011 23:19

His job? techy geek.

(also known as some long-winded job title which makes him sound terribly important)

I used to work for a large US corporation and thought I had heard it all... obviously not! Grin And he used to give me serious grief about this kind of stuff.

moondog · 16/06/2011 23:24

There is some weird correlation.The more computers there are, the more inane the language used.
at DP'd boyfriend.
At lkeast it would have allowed you to shake off any residual feelings for him eh?

Sarraburd · 16/06/2011 23:58

Invite used as a noun, not verb.

COB. Leverage. Thought shower.

SAHM (who used to be journo) friend of mine was apoplectic at mutual friend putting "AOB" in email arranging meet up (she had never before heard it but knew I would've so asked me to decode...)

saffronwblue · 17/06/2011 02:13

My most hated new verb (reported by DH) is "to pathway". Found in university corporate speak.
We need to ensure that students can pathway from the hairdressing certificate 1 to a PhD.

HonestyBox · 17/06/2011 02:25

No-one on this thread has stepped up to the plate yet.

I say 'best' at the end of an email - always wondered what the feck one should say? Does anyone know?

stepford1 · 17/06/2011 02:28

Can't work out how to post without picking an exciting thread...
45 mins ago husband called and woke me to say he was trying to get home from west London
Still no sign of him have called back a few times and can't get much sense out of him (yes of course he's drunk)
Just wanted to talk to anyone who's up as feeling utterly lousy weepy and out of control..

saffronwblue · 17/06/2011 06:03

Is he home now Step? Hope you are both tucked up asleep.

stepford1 · 17/06/2011 08:42

Thx he got back in by 3 having finally worked out how to call a taxi I was in the middle of baking as figured better to keep busy than worry and then fight! will be on BIG coffees tonight and hopefully a contrite husband this evening felt good to at least put my worries out there

Original poster
StealthPolarBear · 17/06/2011 08:50

Glad he's back step :)

I work in performance management and so we do produce scorecards Blush sorry everyone

moondog - reflection, i think there's a quote about alligators and swamps there...but my answer would be stop thinking about the swamp and keep bashing the alligators over the head with your "Little book of management crap" (available at all good bookshops, RRP £8.99)

OP posts:
NetworkGuy · 17/06/2011 10:05

"I say 'best' at the end of an email - always wondered what the feck one should say? Does anyone know?"

I usually use 'best wishes' when it is not a relative, and I'm telling someone there is an invoice online for them (I've not needed to print /post invoices for many years... went 'green' in the nineties!) though have seen 'kindest regards' and avoid that myself...

beanandspud · 17/06/2011 10:23

I have to admit to using Regards/Kind regards at the end of emails - it feels like the best of a bad bunch.

I do have a problem with "Cheers!" (we're not in the pub), "Best" (best what?), "Keep smiling" (why should I?) and "Adios!".

SeymoreButts · 17/06/2011 10:52

I use "many thanks" at the end of my emails, although you have to be careful because depending on the content of the email, it can seem a bit passive aggressive.

NetworkGuy · 17/06/2011 10:56

I do have a problem with "Cheers!" (we're not in the pub), "Best" (best what?), "Keep smiling" (why should I?) and "Adios!"

Blimey - I suppose those might be used by my niece or nephews (sub 30s) but fortunately not to me :)

NetworkGuy · 17/06/2011 10:59

"depending on the content of the email"

If my e-mail was of a demanding (please pay me!) or negative nature, I think I would just end 'bluntly' with only my name and no 'wishes', good or more likely evil, at least none written, which could be held against me :)

PredictableDullard · 17/06/2011 11:02

i would like to own benchmarking this thread

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