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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think its utter rubbish to be told i am making my ds miss out on not having a

39 replies

thighslapper · 13/06/2011 16:33

wee, xbox, etc etc?

My friend say that he is missing out and that i am wrong.

I say i dont have any use for anything like that and that i dont want to buy one.
Ds is 7. A very active kid, on the trampoline form 7am ifi let him, bike rides, out playing footy, just never sits still.
Her ds is totally different and will spend hours on them all. (he is 7 and has a wee in the living rom, an xbox in his bedroom and has 4 nintendo ds machines) She rewards his good behaviour at school by allowing him 2 hours on it after school.

She also had a strop because when she arrived at my house at weekend (uninvited) with her little boy, my ds was upstairs playng with his play date and didnt come down when she arrived to play with her son. She thinks he is rude and is leaving her ds out! ds had no idea she was there and to be fair, her ds plays alone allot...even when he & ds are in the same room.

so....aibu?

OP posts:
IndigoBell · 13/06/2011 16:35

YANBU. 7 year old's don't need all that stuff......

MrsTwinks · 13/06/2011 16:36

nope. not at all. If your DS really wanted one and you said no maybe it would be a topic worth thinking about but if he doesnt what business is it of hers that he doesnt have one?? Would your DS be missing out because hers has sky with all the kids channels and yours didnt? no. Simple as.

SenoritaViva · 13/06/2011 16:37

YANBU, it doesn't even sound like your son is that interested and very active (and healthy).

Your friend sounds like she's meddling too much, why didn't she send her son up to find yours when she arrived on Saturday?

Poogles · 13/06/2011 16:38

Made me laugh when I read he had a 'wee' in the living room!!!

AgentZigzag · 13/06/2011 16:39

Arf at at wee Grin

You mean a Wii of course.

YANBU to not get one if neither of you are bothered, but why didn't you call your DS down from his room when his friend came round? Or why didn't you send her DS up there?

What did the lad do? Just stand about not doing anything?

AgentZigzag · 13/06/2011 16:40

Wii is a ridiculous name to call a computer though Grin

foxter · 13/06/2011 16:40

YANBU

What does her DS have 4 Nintendo DS's for?

It sounds like your son has a healthy enjoyable lifestyle and that she may be trying to justify her son's lifestyle to herself by telling herself, and you, that you are causing your son to miss out by not buying him consoles.

LadyWithNoManors · 13/06/2011 16:40

YANBU. Your child, your choice.
Though just to point out that my DS has a Wii and DS but is only allowed on them at the weekend or as a reward for good marks at school, he's 5.
So it doesn't have to be all or nothing. If limited they are fine.

Pandemoniaa · 13/06/2011 16:41

YANBU in choosing not to have those things. Sounds like your ds has a healthy active life which is definitely preferable to spending a childhood glued to a screen. Or weeing in the living room (sorry!!).

But actually, it is rude for a child not to come down and greet a visitor. Whoever they are.

Original poster
thighslapper · 13/06/2011 16:41

see, i have NO idea what the bleeding ell any of these things are, so cant make an informed decision whether or not i am making him miss out??????

OP posts:
Insomnia11 · 13/06/2011 16:42

YANBU. We do have a Wii (though ostensibly it's mine rather than the kids) but I let them go on to play Just Dance or singing games. They aren't that bothered though and also spend a lot more time on the trampoline, and it's not something I would personally buy specifically for a 7 year old, more that we as a family have one.

silverten · 13/06/2011 16:42

Well, technically your friend is right, your son is missing out on those things.

But who cares? He's missing out on lots of things: scurvy, gin, chimney sweeping...

I'd go one further- get rid of the telly and watch your friend's head explode.

usualsuspect · 13/06/2011 16:46

Children can have Wiis and DSs and still play football/on the trampoline etc

and why didn't you just send the boy upstairs where your son was playing with his playdate ?

Original poster
thighslapper · 13/06/2011 16:46

ds's room is in the loft, he doesnt hear me when i bellow/scream/shout him up the stairs!
she arrived, i put the kettle on, her ds was straight into the toy box, sat on the floor playing happily....then she said "why is your ds not coming down to play with XXXX ?
I didnt get chance to send the child up, he usually just wanders up to ds's room tbh, its not a problem.
She gets quite shirty when her ds cries that ds wont stay ont he ttrampoline with him...ds goes onto the swing or to play football, he is a bit precious tbh and cries allot over very little for allot of attention. Hes a sweet kid, but its a bit wearing.
he has 4 ds machines because one is 3d, one is a camera thingy one is for the car and one is for home.....i think!

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 13/06/2011 16:47

My 10 YO DD has a wii and a ds and goes on them whenever she wants, amazingly, she's able to have an active lifestyle as well Shock

It's not one or the other.

She spends a far greater time reading than on the computers, just sitting there reading...or is that OK because she's kind of learning something? Even though the computer games are teaching her lots of stuff as well.

AgentZigzag · 13/06/2011 16:49

Why are you friends with her OP? Doesn't sound as though you like her, her parenting style or her DS.

usualsuspect · 13/06/2011 16:50

My ds had a playstation and I never limited his time on it

He still spent a lot of time playing out with his mates

Hullygully · 13/06/2011 16:50

Of course he's not missing out. Hold out against the screens as long as you can...

Original poster
thighslapper · 13/06/2011 16:51

Im saying that i am just not ready to buy stuff like that, as we are not into tv, computers etc as a pass time.

Nowt wrong with other folk having them, i just dont want them yet.

Also i worry ALLOT becuase my nephew is completely hooked on his x-box. You dont get any conversation out of him, not even a "hello", they spend upwards of £30 per game for him, and he is 8. They have to negotiate with him to get him to come off it to eat/ drink/shower/do homework. Its not a route i want to take.

OP posts:
Original poster
thighslapper · 13/06/2011 16:52

she is a very very old pal, her ds is gorgeous but she does things differently to me......i havelimited experience with electronic gadgets....and i dont want my ds to miss out because of my prejudice. Wanted to throw it out there, see what you all think.

OP posts:
RogerMelly · 13/06/2011 16:53

I don't know about iabu but a 7yr old having a wee in the living room has made my day :o

Hullygully · 13/06/2011 16:55

thighslapper - believe me, you will hear it LOUD AND CLEAR from him when he does want all that stuff. You don't have to volunteer it..

worraliberty · 13/06/2011 16:55

I'm quite sure if your son really wanted one, he'd make his feelings clear to you.

But as other people have said..it's quite possible to have a fit, active and healthy child who also happens to posses these electronic toys.

I'm sure you didn't panic that when your bought your DS the trampoline..from that moment on he would never be seperated from it?

Original poster
thighslapper · 13/06/2011 16:56

I KNOW!!! he has told me that he is the only kid in his class to NOT have a pet goldfish, therefore he needs one.

OP posts:
DeWe · 13/06/2011 16:58

We don't have a TV. How about that for cruelty.