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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think its utter rubbish to be told i am making my ds miss out on not having a

39 replies

thighslapper · 13/06/2011 16:33

wee, xbox, etc etc?

My friend say that he is missing out and that i am wrong.

I say i dont have any use for anything like that and that i dont want to buy one.
Ds is 7. A very active kid, on the trampoline form 7am ifi let him, bike rides, out playing footy, just never sits still.
Her ds is totally different and will spend hours on them all. (he is 7 and has a wee in the living rom, an xbox in his bedroom and has 4 nintendo ds machines) She rewards his good behaviour at school by allowing him 2 hours on it after school.

She also had a strop because when she arrived at my house at weekend (uninvited) with her little boy, my ds was upstairs playng with his play date and didnt come down when she arrived to play with her son. She thinks he is rude and is leaving her ds out! ds had no idea she was there and to be fair, her ds plays alone allot...even when he & ds are in the same room.

so....aibu?

OP posts:

AgentZigzag · 13/06/2011 17:00

You're thinking you can sidestep your DS ignoring you/backchatting/being an awkward bugger by not getting him a computer aren't you OP?

DC have been awkward since the dawn of time, you won't succeed mwahahaha

AgentZigzag · 13/06/2011 17:04

The only bloke I knew who didn't have a telly DeWe used to be a right ignorant twat when he came round to ours and sat glued to the telly totally phasing out the rest of the world.

He was really superior about his non telly status and used to look down on everyone else for being so weak.

pinkthechaffinch · 13/06/2011 17:10

The girl in my class who didn't have a telly used to spend her days writing and enacting Bronteesque fantasies.

just to throw the other side of the coin.

fuzzpigFriday · 13/06/2011 17:15

YANBU, if he's not bothered there's no reason to think about it.

She is probably jealous that her DS spends all day lazing on video games and is trying to rationalise it.

LDNmummy · 13/06/2011 17:18

Sorry but I think these types of electronic entertainment for little kids can lead to bad outcomes.

YANBU but then maybe I am old fashioned? I am in my early/ mid twenties so not an old fogey by any means BTW, just think it is the work of the devil

exoticfruits · 13/06/2011 17:20

He will let you know, loud and clear, if he is missing out-don't even think about it while he is happy!

bonkers20 · 13/06/2011 17:26

My DS is 12 and we don't have a large console. He doesn't like it, but he doesn't need it. He plays games on the computer and he does play other people's consoles at their houses. It's just one less battle TBH. The games are very expensive as well.

IMO, when not presented with playing consoles as an option the DCs will quite easily find other things to do that otherwise they might not have thought of. I don't like that for some children they are the default entertainment when they're at a loose end.

MerylStrop · 13/06/2011 17:28

YANBU about the gadgetry. Your friend feels challenged because you have chosen not to buy those things. Thinks its a judegment on a her parenting. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't.

It's a shame that your son didn't come to greet his friend when he arrived. I would have MADE him, even if it was an uninvited guest.

iwanttoseethezoo · 13/06/2011 17:40

YANBU - hold out as long as you can, i am feigning ignorance of these things and my son knows nothing about them (although has seen them at other people's houses - mainly older boys), and has never mentioned us getting one. If you have more than one child i'm sure it's just another thing for them argue about. He is not "missing" anything that will benefit him really - it's fun, but so are lots of things and we can't do everything!

on the other hand my kids do watch a lot of telly, but i would never tell anyone that they were 'missing out' if they didn't have one. it's horses for courses.

fuzzpigFriday · 13/06/2011 17:51

LDNMummy I don't think it's old fashioned (I hope not anyway as I'm 24) although I don't particularly see the problem with consoles as a whole - individual games are a different matter though, can't stand anything like COD/Halo, which my 7yo neighbour plays - I happily admit to hoiking up me judgypants on that one and I do not like my 3yo being there when he plays them!

We have a wii, which was a present from my parents for Xmas/21st birthday. DD has just started really enjoying it, but doesn't play it too often and we don't like violent games anyway. She likes Sports resort, wii fit etc. But I certainly wouldn't be rushing to buy one if we didn't like it ourselves.

fuzzpigFriday · 13/06/2011 17:54

Incidentally we don't have tv, we disconnected it because we don't watch much ourselves. She used to be hooked on milkshake but she hasn't asked for it once, she just watches DVDs.

ChristinaEliopolis · 13/06/2011 18:01

No no no - hold out as long as you can

For reasons I don't entirely understand, DH loves the children to have games consoles so we have a wii, xbox and two little handheld things which he loves buying games for. The latest one is the Kinect. He and the children now love leaping around waving their arms about in front of the screen while I try not to scowl too much and look like the party-pooper mummy that I am.

Tbh, I spend huge chunks of my day supervising and limiting their time on the stupid things. The new rule is - if you have a friend over, no games consoles but this is so difficult to enforce.

Keep the evil things out of your home.....................

EssentialFattyAcid · 13/06/2011 18:03

I think if your friend and her ds came round and your ds ignored her ds that actually is quite rude, whether or not your friends were invited.

I also think it is very rude of your friend to say that your ds is missing out because he doesn't have gaming consoles as yet. Presumably the obvious reply is that you could say her ds is missing out on outdoor and active play opportunities but I suspect that you are too polite to say this.

We have a Wii and a DS but didn't have either when dd was 7. The DS is hardly ever played with and the Wii perhaps once a month if that. Your ds may choose not to play with this stuff even if he has it, like my dd.

I would be very unhappy if my dd played computer games for 2 hours a day and wouldn't use it as a reward for good behaviour either. We all get to make our own parenting choices - and it is not very nice behaviour to criticise the choices of our friends. I suspect your friend may even feel guilty about how much screen time her ds has.

Have confidence in your own choices.

LittleMissFlustered · 13/06/2011 18:19

We have a wii. Somewhere. Think it's in a box in the kitchen. We have a couple of handhelds too, but we lost the chargers. I'm a bit knickers at being a gamer:o

If you don't want the console, don't buy one. They're somewhat overrated and eat money if you decide to feed them new games regularly.

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