AIBU?!

[SoEmbarassed]

Hi

Name changed for something embarassing in health now keeping this in case I'm identified here.

AIBU to exepct a BBQ when I'm invited to one? One of my friends held one a couple of weeks ago. I'd been invited with my DH and DC's several weeks in advance and the invite and reminder made it clear it was a BBQ. Perfect for them. They love them, they love the food, they will happily munch on chicken drumsticks, sausages, burgers etc... anything thrown on the BBQ.

We decided to get the train. She lives a long way from us. We spend over £100 on train tickets for 4 people. We get there for lunchtime as asked, nothing is ready and food doesn't happen until after 3pm and there is no BQ. It's standing there but not used. What we got was a cold buffet with food that would be tricky for many young DC's to like. There was virtually no meat which would be fine but the veg options were a bit much. A huge veggie stew, cold omelettes full of a medley of vegetables, cold rice, salad, cold everything, the only meat to speak was very heavily cured ham and it had been hand cut so it was very thick and my younger DC couldn't even chew it and spat it out. They were raised with manners so neither of them said a word at lunch. They just tried a bit of everything but didn't eat much and I ate some of it for them when they didn't want it so as not to waste the food. They just munched on the bits of bread there.

It was fine they had a good day but I didn't apprecaite the 2 hour train ride home a few hours later later with my youngest DC in particular who half way thru the journey starts whining and then crying with hunger. If I'd known I would have brought some food for my DC's with me but I thought they'd be stuffed after the BBQ and sleep it off.

Please tell me if you think I'm being ungrateful but I just thought that if I'm invited to a garden BBQ there would actually be one.

I don't think you were ungrateful op :)

"You have said a few times op that you don't believe any young children would eat from the buffet"

Where did I say that? I said they may have a hard time but at no point did I say no young child would ever eat from that sort of food. In fact my OP says that my own DC's tried a little bit of everything but they didn't like it enough to eat huge amounts of it. Thus they were very hungry later and there was nothing else.

Couldn't you have asked for some bread and done them a sandwich?

A sandwich with what?

The rock solid chunks of ham or the really strong cheeses that had been broguht back from holiday and the host said they'd had them a bit too long, they mihgt not be alright by now........

Bread and butter? Toast and marmite? A jam sandwich? Cereal? Are you saying that there was nothing in the house you could have commandeered for your children?
Had they served spicy barbecued stuff, you would have been in the same predicament.

My daughter would have happily eaten any of that.

To be honest I might be miffed if I had been you but it wouldn't at all be the hosts fault.

If your children are picky eaters then you ought to take snacks in your bag "just in case" or brought them something to snack on at the train station/nearby on the way home.

I dont think you were being unreasonable to have expected more child-friendly food. My DCs (11, 12 and 15) would have struggled with what was on offer. My carnivore DH would probably have simply barbecued the host!

It is difficult when people lay on food which has undoubtedly been lovingly prepared but so totally misses the mark. I would certainly feel uncomfortable asking my host (now rotating slowly over the coals) if I could have something different for my kids. It would feel so wrong. In my pre-DC state I would have felt quite insulted to be asked.

I wouldnt describe someone who cant/wont eat:

• cold omelette
• cheesy vegetarian stew
• cured ham
• cold rice salad

as picky. TBH it sounds revolting!

As I said before on here I'm not here to be pulled up on spelling, I'm not at school anymore we all have typos and to pulled up on it is somewhat childish to say the least, I use a iPad mainly and predictive text is a nightmare.

And the op should have been better prepared who travels all that way without something for the journey, it does beggar belief sometimes.

For the millionth time (I do love an exaggerate) the OP took food for way up but nowt for way back - she was expecting a bbq as promised so no need for grub on return. I would have demanded asked for something else for my DC but OP was too nice! That'll learn ya OP - next time tell em the food's shite and raid the freezer

Hully I just spat wine on my screen reading your 14:38 post.

Glad to see the majority agree the flaming was petty and arsey.

You handled it well, OP.

And if mumsnet did barbecues, they'd be the best barbecues in the world.

Yanbu! If I was hosting and for some reason had to change what I was going to dish up for dinner and children where eating I'd call the parents and check if the children would like it. Why would you risk serving food that the children wouldn't like? But aren't your children good for not saying anything.

These are the posts you made which imply young children wouldn't eat such food, I was merely pointing put that some would, you are very defensive, I wasn't being rude,bitchy etc.

• I refuse to believe that your 3 year olds would eat chilli fish, cold veggie stew (the veggie was aubergine, courgette, etc), cold spicy rice, cold omelette, all together and would tuck in happily if served with it

• if you have a three year old who will eat fish smothered in chilli oil, ham so thick it's hard to chew and cold veggie stew, all together in a buffet, do let me know....?so does anyone? I know parents with DC's older than mine who wont eat anything but plain pasta, plain bread and act as if pizza is rat poison.

• They were 8 and over. But even they avoided some of it like the plague.

• Well if you have a three year old who will eat fish smothered in chilli oil, ham so thick it's hard to chew and cold veggie stew, all together in a buffet, do let me know

There may be more but I can't really be bothered going any further back. If you don't want an answer, or suspect you won't like the answer you'll get then you shouldn't ask the question IMO.

Of course not all young children would eat the foods offered, mine would as would my friends dc which are aged between 3 and 8. I let you know ( as you requested to be told) that my dd would have eaten most of the foods you mentioned. Of course I also would have taken plenty of snacks, fruit, sandwiches for the train home as well as the journey there, but that's just me, I like to be prepared. I even take stuff to the park just in case.

As I said previously, I don't think you were being ungrateful, I do think if you knew your dc were hungry and you were with good friends you should have asked for something they would eat, even if it was just toast.

I still don't think you deserved to get flamed but to be honest you are coming across as rude and defensive in some of your posts. Please don't ask that I scroll through the whole thread looking for examples for you again.

I won't be back on here tonight so will be unable to respond if you have any questions about my post. Good night :) you should probably let it go now, it was after all a nice day out, seems a shame to spoil it over a lack of suitable food for your dc.

YANBU for being miffed at the lack of BBQ - I think that's very odd. Even if the weather was too bad to cook/eat outside, she could have cooked BBQ food under the grill in her kitchen!

However, YABU for sneering at someone's you're/your error at 14:18, then making one yourself at 14:19. You've also spelt 'embarrassed' wrong in your username (how embarrassing)!