AIBU?!

[SoEmbarassed]

Hi

Name changed for something embarassing in health now keeping this in case I'm identified here.

AIBU to exepct a BBQ when I'm invited to one? One of my friends held one a couple of weeks ago. I'd been invited with my DH and DC's several weeks in advance and the invite and reminder made it clear it was a BBQ. Perfect for them. They love them, they love the food, they will happily munch on chicken drumsticks, sausages, burgers etc... anything thrown on the BBQ.

We decided to get the train. She lives a long way from us. We spend over £100 on train tickets for 4 people. We get there for lunchtime as asked, nothing is ready and food doesn't happen until after 3pm and there is no BQ. It's standing there but not used. What we got was a cold buffet with food that would be tricky for many young DC's to like. There was virtually no meat which would be fine but the veg options were a bit much. A huge veggie stew, cold omelettes full of a medley of vegetables, cold rice, salad, cold everything, the only meat to speak was very heavily cured ham and it had been hand cut so it was very thick and my younger DC couldn't even chew it and spat it out. They were raised with manners so neither of them said a word at lunch. They just tried a bit of everything but didn't eat much and I ate some of it for them when they didn't want it so as not to waste the food. They just munched on the bits of bread there.

It was fine they had a good day but I didn't apprecaite the 2 hour train ride home a few hours later later with my youngest DC in particular who half way thru the journey starts whining and then crying with hunger. If I'd known I would have brought some food for my DC's with me but I thought they'd be stuffed after the BBQ and sleep it off.

Please tell me if you think I'm being ungrateful but I just thought that if I'm invited to a garden BBQ there would actually be one.

Surely the veggie stew wasn't cold?

Next time perhaps the best thing to do is call the host in advance and warn her that you have particularly fussy children.

Wow, you travelled two hours on a train just for a BBQ? I don't think I could be arsed. An I the only one?

Did you tell your host this op

You're not alone, Puppy. :o

Same here puppy even steak wouldn't get me on a train

"Surely the veggie stew wasn't cold?"

Yup it was and the cheese in it was chewy and congealed. She's a friend I hadn't seen for a long time as she moved away. So I could be arsed. Day out on the train etc.

Were they the only children there?

YANBU to expect it - it is what you were offered. You were not ungrateful - didn't say anything rude, ate the food, DC were polite. Don't know why you're getting a flaming. Food sounds lovely but not DC friendly. FWIW I wouldn't have mentioned cancelling BBQ either, but I would have thought to cater for all ages - cocktail sausages, quavers and fruit shoots

"Next time perhaps the best thing to do is call the host in advance and warn her that you have particularly fussy children."

Well if you have a three year old who will eat fish smothered in chilli oil, ham so thick it's hard to chew and cold veggie stew, all together in a buffet, do let me know.Particularly fussy is a bit harsh.

I found it ok but little ones on the other hand......

Yanbu. The food sounds shite. It wasn't what you were told it would be. Veggie stew? No thanks. My dc would feel the same as yours. You'll know for next time!

"Were they the only children there?"

No but the others much much older. They were 8 and over. But even they avoided some of it like the plague.

Maybe it just looked a bit like rain when they went to do their shopping so they decided not to use the BBQ?

YABU. Our friends always tell us not to cook anything special for their kids - they have been brought up to eat whatever others are having. Perhaps you should just have warned the friend about your fussy kids?

If your children are fussy eaters, surely it's your responsibility to bring something they will eat. If your hosts cook spicy food, there's no guarantee that their barbecue stuff wouldnt have been spicy. I speak as the parent of an infuriatingly fussy eater by the way.

I have 2 children. They don't eat fish because none of this family eat dead creatures but they'd have eaten the salads, the rice dish, the omlettes stuffed with vegetables and probably the veg stew too. Re the latter, as this was such a good friend could you not have asked her if she could pop the DC's serving in the microwave for a few moments?

op my DH is vegetarian my DH will only eat fish we alwayset our hosts know this

Perhaps you should just have warned the friend about your fussy kids

I've said this already eurochick: if you have a three year old who will eat fish smothered in chilli oil, ham so thick it's hard to chew and cold veggie stew, all together in a buffet, do let me know....?

So does anyone? I know parents with DC's older than mine who wont eat anything but plain pasta, plain bread and act as if pizza is rat poison. My DC's aren't fussy but that combination all together was a bit muhc for them.

What IS odd is that you went all that way, so presumably they are good friends, and yet you couldn't say, Oi where's my bbq then? And got her to bung a few sausages on the oven grill for the dc.

AIBU to suggest that you could have cut the ham up into smaller pieces?

It sounds difficult but not impossible to work round. Ask to pop the stew in the microwave? Cut the ham up into little pieces? It doesn't sound what you were led to expect though.

You could have borrowed a grate and grated the ham, you unimaginative thing you. Was it nice ham btw?

I dunno about the bbq/food thing ,its not that big a deal really ,they had provided food

but yabu for picking a poster up on their grammar/spelling

AIBU to point out that if pumpernickle's DH eats fish, he is not a vegetarian? :o

Actually I think what I would have done is run in there and screamed WHERE'S THE FUCKING BBQ YOU CUNT? And smashed her over the head with it. That'll learn her.

nobody spends £100 on travel just for a BBQ. not in the UK anyway.