In the last 5 days I have been spat at, sworn at, screeched at, pushed and had a chair thrown at my head (succesful shot)

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and I should go back to work next week because?

Cat in the hat, whats your point? Yes someone has said that, are you suggesting I should parrot it again? It has been said, what is the point in saying the same again? I am another poster, therefore i made a different post. The threads round here would be pretty dull if we all repeated the same words ad nauseam!

Your last paragraph, I assume you mean people caring for family? A completely different kettle of fish.

You have been rude and unpleasant on this thread so I'm not quite sure why you are pretending to be huffy and self-righteous now.

I meant could not do

"I think the OP just came on here for a bit of support."

disagree.

I think she wanted lots & lots of attention affirmation & hugz from the likes of jade80 who patted her on the head and said how wonderful she is and everyone who doesn't agree is a big old meanie

(She has been lucky enough to get realistic support comments from the likes of Marlinspike)

A genuine plea for help based on the phys & mental damage this week would have resulted in a load of sensible commentary from the large numbers of MNers who live this stuff daily

An attention seeking guessing game has resulted in a couple of MNers going and the hugz experts like jade80 piling in afterwards. Very worthwhile & productive.

nb, I think some of those who struggle with reading what is in front of them on the page won't cope with this post, so I would leave this one if possible Pumpernickel ok?

" huffy and self-righteous "

eh?

you are clearly mad

Urm... where did I pat anyone on the head? I am not saying that anyone who disagrees is a big old meanie. I am saying that your posts, in particular, have been condescending, snide and generally rude and dismissive. Yes, yours in particular. You're obviously having a bad day, so {hugz} to you.

Ha, i think there is some sort of discrepancy between how you THINK you come across, and how you actually are coming across. I'm the mad one?

''Is it a Drama related job?
Are you a Royal?
Maybe it's both simultaneously?
Do let everybody know when the thread show signs of petering out.''

''..if you need it from your employers as I guess this is pretty much par for the course in your line of work. Or didn't it occur to you that working in that area would be kind of challenging?''

''what are you going to do next - get a job in insurance and start complaining that they expect you to add up ALL DAY?''

'' "oh catinthehat - your attitude sounds rather painfully familiar in my line of work this is me ^ rising above your crap"

there you go just to repeat, if you just want affirmation and hugs, I recommend you don't do a woe is me attention seeking guessing game under AIBU, you might get a bit of honesty crap but don't let me stop you wallowing in the attention'

''and jadey jadey jadey check this out - this is what someone who really knows this stuff and knows the way mature people deal with these stresses has said to the OP:''

Don't you just sound like a treasure?

Anyway I'm off out, so bye.

OP, hope your job goes as well as possible in future.

When i moved out of resisdential care I used to be surprised i had been at work all day and not had something thrown at me or called any names.

Check you de- brief and supervision policy and make sure your employer is adhering to it. It is easy to just think 'well the whole team are in the same boat it is just one of these things' That is when burn out happens. look after yourself.

Great ideas from catinthehat. Why don't all those whingy drama queens who work as teachers, carers, supporters, nurses just put up or shut up. I mean, really, why on earth would you want to seek support from somewhere just because you've had a crap week.

Let's just put all those who need guidance, support, mentoring etc in a big empty room with no windows or doors, and presto, no need for Op or anyone else to annoy catinthehat with their attention seeking. Sorted.

i have nothing but the deepest respect for anyone who works is such an environment, I could not do a job where being abused was a daily part of it, I am sorry to say if someone hit me my immediate reaction would be to smack them back .

I can not believe what some teachers have to put up with, when I was at school teachers were respected (but then most of them were a bloody good shot with a board rubber )

'there are numbers of people on this site who have daily lives where they put up with the kind of stuff you are dealing with without getting paid, without any choice, and without any support other than this site.'

I used to deal with this at school and in my home life, fortunately DS has responded to a lot of the strategies we tried and is less likely to Krakatoa now.
Doesn't mean I can't have sympathy for someone else in a similar position, and appreciate what they do. No one has mentioned the unnecessary guilt attached to 'get another job' You get another job, and you spend far too much time wondering what happened to the damaged and broken children you walked out on, and if anyone else wanted to fill the gap you left.
That is not saying that anyone is irreplaceable, just that there are too many children and too few adults able and willing to work in challenging circumstances.
I am now admired in school for my ability to deal positively and constructively with 'challenging children' in my leafy area.
They have no fucking idea how challenging some groups of children can be in other areas, but I'll take the appreciation.

Mine was estate agent when I did that particular line of work!

everyone has expeerienced unsupportive management at some point. It's demoralising and dispiriting and depressimg and lots of other d words. Aggression isn't supposed to happen in an educational establishment but the reality is that it does and the op is suffering the effects.

Op pm me if you need a rant

I used to work in residential care with children with emotional and behavioural difficulties. The last straw for me was when one of the boys smashed a upstairs window causing glass to shatter all over the place we had been standing moments earlier. That and arriving at work at 7am and being asked to restrain an violent child who was trying to spit in my face and who had wet the bed. And my team leader covered in bruises with a black eye because she had been attacked by a 12 yr old. Lack of support by management.

I have worked with "challenging" teenagers and families for most of my working life. But now I am a middle manager and my contact with families is far less frequent. IME most people only do a job like you are doing for a limited amount of time as it does burn you out.

Maybe you need to be thinking of what you could move on to that uses your expertise, but isn't as challenging. For example, I worked front line with very challenging families before becoming a manager.

Yes you would still get sworn at etc. at times, but you also spend a lot of time sorting out other sources of support, helping parents access specialist support they need e.g. debt advice, alcoholism support. So the job isn't nearly as intense as I suspect your current job is.

And tbh, except in a very small number of tough schools, I suspect teachers have a far easier time than the OP.

'And tbh, except in a very small number of tough schools, I suspect teachers have a far easier time than the OP.'

Absolutely agree, children in EBD settings are those that MS schools couldn't handle.

OP - it's the balance isn't it - the rewards fo the job versus the negatives. You can go through negative cycles but only you know if this is too much all the time for you.

Your kids have issues and so the work supporting them is really difficult. However, some adults here are just nasty in order to get attention. They could just not bother posting and move along to a post written in a style that they approve of. Wonder if Cat is so negative and confrontational in RL? Suspect not. Sad.

How are all the kids doing this disciplined?

Does your boss re-inforce your discipline methods?

If not, I'd look for a new job...

'"I can not believe what some teachers have to put up with, when I was at school teachers were respected (but then most of them were a bloody good shot with a board rubber " '

Firstly, you know that's not allowed any more...however tempting.
Secondly, if you did that to some very troubled child, you might end up being seriously attacked, knocked unconscious or worse.

Lesley, I'm honestly thrilled for you but you'vee been lucky - after 6 years I'm still frontline.

I'll be staying because one more me means one less winterbourne

Of course a good employer should support employees doing any challenging work. But I have worked in this kind of environment myself. These teenagers/children are in a separate environment because ordinary services such as local schools can't cope with them.

You obviously try and minimise the negative behaviour and there should be strategies to try and achieve this, but IMO in a job like this, there is no way to eliminate the violence.

The only way to eliminate the violence would be to be very very heavy handed with physical restraining or to use the chemical cosh. Both of these methods were very widely used in the past and unfortunately I suspect sometimes still are in some establishments.

But if you want to improve these teenagers future lives, having them doped up all the time is not going to help them at all in the longer term.

makes wonder when everywhere you go there are notices saying how abuse of staff will not be tolerated, but in any form of education you are expected to just put up with it. Not a job for the faint hearted, easily annoyed, or those of too sensitive a nature. Good luck op with next week, but it will probably be more of the same unfortunately.

purple - Yes I know I am lucky to still be able to use my expertise, but have an easier time. And I totally understand why you would feel guilty about the idea of moving on. Most of the teenagers you end up working with have ben let down so many times by adults, so you don't want to add to that.

And I understand the fear of what alternative staff who take your job might be like.

But it does wear you out. I think there are very very few people who can carry on doing a job like that in the long term without it damaging your own health. So I do think you need to be looking for an "escape plan" i.e. what kind of job do you want to move on to?

Maybe you could become a youth worker for example? I know its not the same, but friends I know who are youth workers in disadvantaged areas get a lot out of it.

in any form of education you are expected to just put up with it

not the case at all, Kazmus. In my school it would not be tolerated.