In the last 5 days I have been spat at, sworn at, screeched at, pushed and had a chair thrown at my head (succesful shot)

[activate]

and I should go back to work next week because?

[chillistars]

been there and done that. Sympathetic hugs.

[duchesse]

I agree with Helen. I think that you must be very highly respected by the young people, and with that degree of respect you can achieve so much with them. For that reason alone you can't give up on them now. Unless the toll on you becomes too great of course. Have you managed to start to view this as a one-off incident over the last week? Did you go in today? How were the students? It's my betting you might an apology from the perpetrator.

[heleninahandcart]

OP the response of your boys that helped says it all in terms of the real esteem you are held in. Shed a tear

[working9while5]

high stakes, obviously.

[working9while5]

I've worked with secondary kids in a tough urban deprived school for a few years now and touch wood have been lucky enough never to have so much as a voice raised at me: the schools have tough behaviour policies and all sorts of means of safeguarding staff and things like that. I don't know if I'd have the mettle for it, to be honest. .

Catinthehat, from my POV it looked like she didn't want to give too much away. If you work in a very specialist unit, it's pretty easy to give away too much detail and identify yourself because there aren't so many. It could very well be a job in the prison system, for example, as a therapist etc for which the stakes of accidental identification personally and professionally.

I didn't think she invited guessing, I think MNers decided to guess. I think she just wanted to say why in God's earth am I letting myself be in this position where I can be assaulted, just because it's my job. It sounds like burn out to me.

[ledkr]

I did 10 yrs in residential childcare and remember only too well those feelings. The problem was so many pen pushers made the rules who didnt actually work with the yp's eg I got told off for not giving busfare to a 13yr old who was going to the nearest city by bus to prostitute herself.I was also tols by the police that it was "my job" to get hit and abused.I told them well its more likely to occur in your job and you most definately prosecute then.
Having said all that i miss it the rewards were infrequent but fab, i saw one of the young people i worked with the other day,he is in the army has a baby and a good relationship with his family.I was as pleased as if it was my dc.

[purplepidjin]

From your posts I can categorically state that you have done everything you possibly can to get the best possible outcome for him



fuck off to those who don't want hugs on mn sometimes they're a necessary source of support

[activate]

Feeling much better again - amazing what a weekend of pampering will get you

I did want to comment on the "call the police" police, yes occasionally we have no choice but to call the police and we have assigned Officers but unfortunately in these circumstances their ability to act and change things for the better are limited - however there are policies in place and we do follow them.

As for the next action for the student in this case, I don't know, still not sure know how it all flared up (assume stuff in his life he has not shared that made an innocuous situation very difficult for him to deal with). He is not a lost cause (and there are lost causes ). I have followed policy and provided a statement and the actual consequences will not be my final decision.

[purplepidjin]

I sometimes think that acting within the polices is the hardest part. I also know that if I acted on the instinct to protect, I'd be bankrupt and even more anxious and depressed than my diagnosis!

When you think of all the women desperate to have children and unable, then see the children neglected, abused, unloved and even just ignored because it's easier to give into the tantrum than say no...

[MoreCrackThanHarlem]

Purplepidjin I sympathise

My hardest day yet was with a child whose parent threatens to put them in care each time they make a disclosure at school.
She asked if I would take her home and look after her
Feel so strongly about her, more than is professional, probably.

[minxofmancunia]

OP I'm so sorry you've had such an awful time, I can empathise I'm a mental health nurse and in a previous life worked as ward sister on a medium secure unit for male adolescents, I was kicked, sworn at, spat at, verbally abused had to get involved in restraints +++ also was deliberately vomited on and had shit, piss phleghm and vomit chucked at me

I now work as a therapist for young people and if you do work in a PRU I have to say to your credit all the young people I work with who go to PRUs do really really well and the Units themselves are really well thought of and the staff who work in them.

I know it doesn't make it any easier though...

[purplepidjin]

MoreCrack, I've got one of those at youthie atm. Young carer, sibling in hospital, was biting my tongue so so hard the other day not to say I'd meet them at the station to take them there. Made a few suggestions but sometimes you just want to just sort it

[skybluepearl]

you do have a very very hard job. i think no one would find that kind of work easy.

[MistressFrankly]

Sympathies OP - its bloody hard when you love your job but have a week like that. YANBU to have a wobble and a vent.

DP has the same as a Psych nurse. Last week he spent all his time in exhausting restraints, had a someone try to stab him, got a black eye and had, er, man juice wiped in his hair
i DID try to be sympathetic on the last one but i cant help calling him Something About DP
All this after returning to work after 6 months off recovering for a violent assualt. I dont know how he does it. He loves his job so much but at times it nearly breaks him.

[MoreCrackThanHarlem]

I love my job too. I am involved with managing behaviour, attendance and dealing with CP issues.

The hardest part of my work is not the verbal or physical assaults against staff, but dealing with disclosures of abuse or neglect.
I haven't yet found a successful strategy for coping with this.
I actually fantasise about bringing some of the children home.

[purplepidjin]

blossom, I've known people do that. If they can handle it, they make the absolute best colleagues ever because they are so supportive

[superjobeespecs]

took me a min to figure out your job but i think i have as i have a cousin who stayed in a resi kids home on and off for around 4 yrs i know the crap you've to put up with from the stories iv heard of her and some of the folk who used to work there. a girl just a few yrs ago accused a member of staff of rape and the department of covering it up every one of them sacked and not reinstated after it was proven by cctv she was lying, kids stealing, drinking, beating each other and staff up, girls prostituting themselves, drug dealers at the door demanding money because a few boys have got into debt,regimental bullying of meeker children and staff who would love to take home the good kids/beat crap out the bad ones. just so you know there are kids who appreciate what your doing even the bad ones if you keep at it yes its tirning and incredibly hard but my cousin was a complete terror and because of a great key worker in her final home is actually not that bad a person - not perfect but not a druggy/prostitute/criminal - just a bit of a mouth on her please remember that maybe one day they'll thank you

[blossomtrees]

pity my poor dh he works in this enviroment (he loves his job he says )and then comes home to our severely autistic 18 year old son with challenging behaviour +

[ilovesooty]

Okayyyyyy

I know someone else (similarly spiteful) on another forum who posts like this.

starts stopwatch waiting for OP to get thread deleted

WTF?

I have rarely seen such a spiteful attempt to derail someone's thread out of what seems like sheer spitefulness

MoreCrackThanHarlem - I agree.

[blueeyedmonster]

I work in an SLD school and weeks like the op described were a regular day for me at one point. I am trained in restraint and had to use it daily to stop myself and others being hurt.

It's bloody hard work and if you don't have the right support at work (or even if you do) it's perfectly fine to be more than a little pissed off with it at times.

It's really low pay for the work that is done and can be very verys tressful at times. Despite this I know I (and I can bet most people who work in these settings) wouldn't do anything else.

Activate I really hope next week is calmer for you.

[purplepidjin]

I'm waiting for karma to get hold of me, animula

[animula]

purplepidjin - that is an interesting analogy (wrt if it had been domestic violence).

I thought about it for the past hour or so and my profound conclusions are that you lot aren't paid enough and don't get enough recognition for the work you do.

[purplepidjin]

Cat, why the vendetta against the op? Is your house made of glass, as you're throwing a metric shitload of stones around today. So many that they appear to be metamorphosing into toys and that glass house looks suspiciously pram-shaped to me

Do jog on, dearie. You've made quite enough of a spectacle of yourself now.

[MoreCrackThanHarlem]

Aaaagh too many spitefuls
Am a bit cross