At what age does an innocent boy that needs protecting from a big scary man, become a big scary man?

[needanewname]

Discuss.

Because there is no reasonable answer, a man should be allowed to take a child to the toilet, and should also be able to do so without fear of being the subject of suspicion.

I still don't understand why a woman is better at wiping a small child's 'difficult' bits than a man. If they are both fit for the job, what difference does it make?

"I wonder when preferring that a woman takes your three year old daughter to the toilet suddenly started to mean that all men are perverts?"

About the same time that anyone at all applied even a modicum of thought to that "preference".

Actually we are risk aware people aren't we? Men in 'care' pose more of a risk than women, statistically.

If I walked down a street and came across a group of youths I would be scared, it's not fair to think that they're going to attac/verbally abuse me...but they're more likely than a group of elderly people and so I would react.

It's not fair to 'feel' like this about any group but we do, it's all about being human. And I challenge anyone who says that they are not affected by the news, statistics, etc.

And in my house men are not demonised, I'm not sure I even hold the views I'm expressing as I've never had to think about it, so my children are completely unaware of any prejudice I may or may not hold.

A woman may have similar bots to a girl, just a thought.

bits.

Primal

I don't think that I was using "decent" in the sense whose oppositie is "indecent" - more the one whose opposite is "someone I wouldn't want to spend any amount of time with."

But, FWIW, your views on the other thread were, in my view, cretinous, yes.

HTH.

'Men in 'care' pose more of a risk than women, statistically.' but statistically not as much risk as the men and women (yes, that's you too) in your family.

Men in 'care' pose more of a risk than women, statistically.

Do they? Is that because fewer women have been caught, reported,exposed as abusers?

I would have thought that as statistically there are far more females in 'care' roles that would mean the likelihood of coming across a female abuser would be higher.

FFs.... I can control what goes on in my own home.

Plus what dooin said! Family abuse is much more likely than care provider abuse

2% of people in 'care' are men and yet 60% of all caught are men. Sorry but it's true. Any mathematician care to do the math?

I'm sure both sets of my grandparents thought this :
FFs.... I can control what goes on in my own home.

They were very very wrong!!

I think the key word there is 'caught' Crapola.

How much of that statistical risk takes account of the unproven or unreported cases where women are abusive - I'm sure that they are less likely to be caught and, if they are caught, less likely to have a case brought and proved against them. Its SO much easier to believe that a man in such a profession might be abusive than a woman - who of course fulfills the maternal role, and we all know that mothers don't ever abuse.

I'm Crapola I understand that but surely I and others can challenge those views and try to change them.

It was once accepted that driving after having a couple drinks was fine. It was once accepted that beating your wife was I'm, as ling ad the stick wax no thicker than your thumb. It wad once accepted that girls didn't need an education. Quite tightly tear have all been challenged, I and others are challenging the views that men working in the childcare industry are all pedophiles just waiting for the right opportunity.

"So when a woman attends to a boy it's pretty straight forward, but when a man attends to a little girl it's different." So now it's a DIFFICULTY issue - men shouldn't wipe girls because it's not "straight forward" enough for them?

I mean, I'm a man and I'm absolutely rubbish at putting up shelves and so forth, but even I've never struggled with wiping my daughterss arses!

MIFLAW...I've been around to know you're not an idiot and that you can read. I was offering a reason as to why SOME people may have an issue with it.

I think the difference between 2% and 60% is so large that you can't dismiss it all as due to under-reporting.

honeybee: Are you suggesting my husband is a child molester? As he's the only person besides me that look after our children at home.

Or are you trying to tell us all that your children are being abused?

MIFLAW - I'll come round to put shelves up if you come and do some housework?

Crapola, I think that stat will change as we become more aware of female abusers, just as the stats regarding abuse rose as we became more aware of sexual abuse in society. However if we just went on stats, we would not allow children to be looked after by fathers, grandfathers or uncles.

It is as irrational to fear men in care roles as it is to fear black people in care roles. So this should be challenged. So should any idea that we have that we can prevent all abuse. We can't.

Crapola of course she isn't suggesting that but people who continue the idea that men shouldn't take children to the look is suggesting that all men in childcare are abusers

Crapola I said no such thing about your husband, but from my family experience, my grand parents believed their children to be safe from abuse, they were unfortunately wrong. Both my parents were abused by family members (not their parents)

I'm pretty sure most parents who have children molested by family members thought their children were safe with family, unfortunately statistically (as you are so fond of statistics) children are more likely to be abused in their own homes by parents or other family members. It is a very sad fact. It does not mean I am suggesting your husband is a child molester. Please don't be so childish as to twist my words.

Maybe these men are going to have to take the flak, same as women and the glass ceiling....and until more women are considered equal their work (ie childcare) will be seen as dodgy if done by men. Because it's so poorly regarded, this women's work, why would a man want to do it unless he's a pervert?

Men are, I'm afraid, a victim of their own doing.