DH thinks I am, but is this really the norm? TMI warning

[foolserrand]

Ok, sorry in advance.

Dh spends an average of 20 minutes (up to one hour 5 mins!) pooping each time he goes to the loo. He refuses to "push" and the one time he did, he gave himself a hemorrhoid (sp?)

He argues this is a normal length of time for men to spend in the john, but I question that. Neither my father or brother ever took that long!

So, aibu to ask him to hurry the fuck up?

I'm laughing so much. I love the advice re fibre :-)

After they have given birth women are able to poo quicker.

This isn't because the pelvic floor and sphincter muscle are ripped to shreds, it's because we HAVE to.

There could be a feminist issue embedded in this somewhere, like a little bit of sweetcorn.

Yes another one with a DH who likes a 'leisure poo' as I call them. A good 20 mins in the morning, with his DS/Car Mag/Ipod etc. I do find it frustrating and a bit odd, but we have 4 loos so can't complain really.

When we lived in flat with 1 loo - then I did have to encourage him to speed things up a little.

"There could be a feminist issue embedded in this somewhere, like a little bit of sweetcorn"
I have just leaked a bit of wee laughing!

I was told when I was young (and spent too long sitting on the loo reading) that sitting on the loo for too long would give you piles.

Anything over 20 minutes isn't healthy... I'm a health care worker who knows about things like Bristol Stool Charts... I've spent years documenting people's bowel movements... and normally discussing them over meal times!

Tell him to get to the GP, get some lactulose (its a stool softener), and push a bit.

thumbwitch I have one toilet! But I don't live with a man.

my hubby tells me he spends 5 mins max. your hubby needs to change his diet and drink more water.

very funny post indeed. I love the fact that he doesn't 'push'. makes me think of child birth.

I wish i had the time for a luxury poo too!

mentions I actually get up at 6am as I'm on toilet for at least 30 minutes. Then a further 10 - 20 minutes 3/4 times more a day.

I do have bowel problems though.

ah there you go then Bertie - if you lived with a man who took an hour on the loo, you'd soon decide that you deserved a level of input into how long he hogged it for, honestly! :) I never cared that much when we had 2 loos in the house, but now we only have one I do have problems with DH being in there for a long time. But he's never more than half an hour (and that's too long as well).

'he poos juicyfruit'. Interesting visual that... giggles childishly (apologies to juicyfruit btw)

I think there must be some male thing about poos. Little boys often seem to have problems with poo - isn't there a Freud thing about it - not wanting to let it go? Maybe it is a prostate thing. It can't just be about wanting time alone because people have garden sheds for that.

Ugh, disgusting thread but I am genuinely surprised that people spend so long on the toilet. It should only be a couple of minutes.

"Luxury of long pooing session" How odd. Didn't realise going to the toilet was a treat to be savoured

ahem
Bristol stool chart as mentioned above. Perhaps place opposite bog?
www.sthk.nhs.uk/library/documents/stoolchart.pdf
Alternately could be given to timer keeper with stop watch?

XP used to be a long pooer. But it got him out of my hair for a while so I didn't much mind. 20 minutes isn't too bad surely? I grew up with one bathroom and 3 females in the house so having to wait for the bathroom is built in, perhaps :)

I used to take books in there and get lost in them for hours until someone banged on the door

This is why!

Apparantly they are having a wafty crank! But the answer about SAD made me laugh so hard I wee'd a little bit :o

You have to frisk him when he goes in - no books and no phone / ipads!!

Does he eat no fruit? All three of us are in and out in 5 mins max each. And DH has SSS (shit, shower and shave) in 15.

If he was a mathematician, I suppose he could work it out with a pencil .

Dh spends 20-30 min in the loo. I suggested ot was because of his diet but he said no, it wasn't the pooing that took so long but the cleaning. Which is even more disturbing, IMO.

Hmmm.... I have piles due to being pg, and I was advise that sitting for long periods on the loo can make them worse!

it actually says on this link here to avoid sitting on the toilet for too long, to prevent piles!!

SO I think, OP, YANBU

Oh my dh is there for at least 30 mins in the morning, it does my head in. But then I'm on long term laxatives so usually over and done with in about 5 minutes including hand washing

Bogeyface - a 'wafty crank'.

Of course (lightbulb moment). Quite predictable, I suppose.

If SAD is part of the syndrome, getting out and about in the sun and fresh air would be the ticket, not locking themselves in a small room indoors.

I have no clue how long my dh takes but I doubt it's more than 5 mins. There is something very wrong with your fibre intake if you have to spend 20 mins in the loo, that's a LONG time!

to be fair to your DH, tis not his fault. We're pooing wrong.

we're not made for toilets, we're made for squatting and the unnatural angle toilets create cause all sorts of issues.

Foot-stool might help.

That's if he's not using it for some sneaky alone time.

I have to say I think 20 minutes is getting off quite lightly... my DH averages about half an hour and my dad used to take hours. I think men get some weird sort of sexual kick out of it and they make it into quite a ritual. I only go when I really need to and can literally be in and out in a minute and a half. I just don't get why it has to take a significant portion of the day (especially a weekend day). But that's one reason I'm glad not to be a man.

plebshire - thank you for that link. Very interesting and educational - Mumsnet at its best.

my DH can take forever pooping, newspaper or more recently playing angry birds seem to extend his bathroom time. I get wound up because he often suddenly decides that he needs to go then takes 40mins in there. I am sure its often a tactic for avoiding doing stuff. Often defended as ' but I need my quiet time' ...hahahahaha wtf is that! If I take longer than 30 seconds on the loo I fully expect my DS (3yrs) to burst in at any moment and inspect what i'm doing. I tried locking the door but after his friend got locked in the loo a while back and he watched daddy use a 2p to open the lock, he now knows how to break in!

My DH does this as well, and usually manages to disappear in there without warning anyone just as we are going out/ going to bed etc and need a wee..

We moved from a house with 3 toilets to a house with just one, and I have bowel problems. I had surgery in March and when I needed to go I need to go now, so it didn't help having somebody in residence for ages.