have a feeling I have been, now.
So, Thursdays are the only day of the week when we can all eat together at the same time, what with other stuff that goes on on other days. I asked them (dp and dds) if there was anything they fancied, and got at first flippant replies ('whatever makes you happy', which is a kind of running joke at ours) and then 'chili', which was last time vetoed by dd2 on the grounds that 'we always end up having chili on Thursdays'. However when I point this out, everyone says 'no, it's fine' in a not-massively-enthusiastic way. So I said, well actually it is a point, we do quite often have chili on Thursday, I'll have a think during the day of something else, don't worry about it.
Then when dp said goodbye to the girls he said to me in response to my attempts to not sound moody, 'well, I know you're cross with me but I will say goodbye to you' and off he goes - basically this means 'don't try to smooth that over and pretend we're not annoyed with one another, this mood is not over yet'. And I suddenly find myself properly furious.
I think it's because
- I would have really liked it if my mum had ever asked what I fancied for tea, not regarded it as a big pain in the arse to have to think about it, as all my family do. They seem to think (especially dp) that I'm shifting responsibility onto them for what we have, and maybe I am. I dunno.
- I think, really, what I wanted was some sort of affirmation that anyone might especially like anything I ever make, and have some kind of a yen to eat it
- just mindlessly saying 'lets have the thing we have most weeks' isn't really showing any enthusiasm, is it?
- I really really hate it when I make something and no-one really likes it, or it turns out one person never really liked it, or I've put something 'wrong' in it.
- I'm being all self-pitying and hard-done-by and unreasonably upset/annoyed.
So do I make chili and pretend there wasn't this narkiness, or what, hmm?