...to smoke cannabis while breastfeeding

[SemiCharmedWife]

I don't know where to begin.

Actually I do, I'm not a troll, I'm not a regular poster who has namechanged, I'm a lurker who reads the reviews and reads the forums when the baby is having a day of eating and I am stuck to the sofa. This is probably a one-shot username and as it is, I am a little worried someone will trace my IP because what I'm doing is illegal and probably a bit wrong, but I can't be bothered with the SWIM (Someone Who Isn't Me) games. Please be aware I am not taking this lightly, but I don't know who else to come clean to.

I realise by saying 'I'm not a troll', 95% of people will nod and think 'that's what a troll would say'.

I'm procrastinating.

I still smoke weed while breastfeeding DD (4 months) and I was still toking while pregnant. I found out I was pregnant when I was over 20 weeks gone last autumn - if it had been all nicely planned, I tell myself I would have given up. I had an easy pregnancy, a natural labour and DD was a week overdue and perfectly healthy. I am aware that I potentially have dodged a bullet and I would have been devastated if there had been something wrong with her. I think I'm an average mum. I love her (although it wasn't instant, she makes me melt now when she smiles and laughs), I am patient 97% of the time, most housework gets done and I take her out of the house every other day at least.

But I never managed to stop smoking cannabis.

I was going to stop at the new year, then I was going to stop when the baby was born, then I was only going to smoke when the baby was in bed and we tried... but right now, we're smoking as soon as DH gets in from work, then maybe after dinner then almost definitely before bed. One of us stays with DD and we take turns if she's being grumpy, otherwise we go outside and keep an eye on her if she's downstairs/take the monitor if she's in bed. I don't get so stoned that I couldn't react if there was an emergency, I just relax and chat with DH.

Are there any studies that say whether the downsides of smoking weed outweight the downsides of formula? I'm reluctant to give up breastfeeding because it's working for us and I wouldn't be able to pick it back up again, but I can't help but think I am drugging my DD sometimes. Are there actually plenty of mums who still smoke and it's a big, well-kept secret? Am I worrying too much and me and DH will grow out of it (I make us sound like teenagers, we're both mid-20s)? It has to be said that while I would quite like to stop sometimes, my DH will apply pressure to spend money on weed, is very pro-smoking and doesn't think I'm doing/have done anything wrong and even voiced the opinion that I had such an easy pregnancy because I was smoking (not in spite of!). What will the police/SS actually do if someone reports me? Do I deserve to have my baby taken away from me?

I don't know what I'm expecting by posting this, but I'm too scared to be honest with the Health Visitor or the Doctor and I'm even lying to most of my friends (who knew I smoked but presumed I gave up when I was pregnant/had DD). Maybe I need to have my arse kicked and my face rubbed into cold hard facts that prove what I am doing is DISGUSTING and WRONG. Maybe people will surprise me and admit a lot of parents (especially with littl'uns who don't understand) still smoke cannabis, my DH is right and I should just stop worrying. Maybe people will empathise and have ideas on how to say no while DH is outside the back door smoking.

And let the judging commence.

Corriefan - It can make you violent too. My exP smoked loads of the stuff and got so paranoid and possessive he ended up knocking me about, and would also get very agitated and aggressive/violent when he was due a smoke and couldn't get hold of any. My brother has depression with psychotic and violent episodes which I think was largely caused by excessive cannabis smoking in his teens, It is rotten stuff. To inflict it onto a tiny, developing/growing child who has no say in the matter is truly terrible - I don't care what people say.

I feel for you corriefan - my brother was at one point suspected to be schizophrenic, and has had a very rough time over the years. He is still a constant worry, and I have at times really feared for him. I can't imagine what you went through. My sympathies. x

There are no studies such as you describe, or very little evidence around this area because getting ethical approval for them would be impossible. Using drug addicts as study subjects is also fraught with difficulty as they lie. Without exception.

YABU but you know that. You have been given lots of good advice on this thread (give it up, talk to doctors, be honest [yeah right] with people that are there for your own and your daughter's protection) and you are still trying to justify it.

I hope you can live with yourself if your daughter grows up thinking drugs are a normal part of her lifestyle and takes them routinely. I hope you can explain to her why she might not be doing so well at school in later life, or where her memory problems come from, or why she has MH issues.

Cannabis in all its forms is evil. So is tobacco, so are smack, pills, cocaine and every other life destroying substance. Alcohol is a grey area as there do seem to be a few people who can drink 1-2 glasses a week but they are in a small minority.

Grow up. Learn a better coping strategy. If not for you, for your daughter.

And no, I don't smoke or drink. I am not perfect but I have never been interested in artificial chemicals which screw up brain chemistry to help me cope with life.

Corriefan Physically it is not addictive, but you can be mentally addicted to anything.

But you're right, lots of people are fooled by it, thinking if it isn't addictive they can quit anytime. You're also right about smokers being dull. I know so many of them and it is mighty boring sitting with a smoker.

Sorry haven't read entire thread, but op please decide, give up smoking or breastfeeding, you seem to be smoking a lot, odd spliff maybe but.... Imho has to be one or the other. From 6 months your baby will start to be more active from crawling to pulling up then walking... Her personality will develop, she will interact with other children, she will show interest in everything, she will start talking, she may go to nursery then school... Etc etc, who is to know how the smoking has affected your dd whilst pregnant and now and if any of her development will be compromised? There are more bullets out there to dodge! but if I where you I'd stop smoking or breastfeeding now for the sake of your dd's future. Living with any repercussions of what you are clearly concerned about is not worth it. She is your child, your responsibily, no-one here will be affected by your actions except you and your dd. Think hard, be strong, good luck

I'd like to say to the OP to get some help, support and advice from a drugs or mental health proffessionals, as your posts sound like a cry for help to me.

Personally I'm somewhere in the middle on this. I know plenty people who smoke cannabis habitually and have full and happy lives caring for themselves and their children. I also know plenty people who smoke cannabis and have had mental health issues and trouble working/socialising/quitting. Neither group of people are the norm, people's reactions to the same set of circumstances are endlessly different. What can be fine for some is dangerous for others.

But you sound like you need and want to stop. Make contact with some agencies and tell them what you've told us and get some proper support. Sounds like you havenone at home, andthis thread won't provide support, it'll just continue to polarise opinion and generate drama.

From a personal point of view, I was a occasional but enthusiastic drug user at parties, weekends ( MDMA, acid, cannabis, cocaine ) before I realised I was pregnant. I also smoked and drank regularly. But as soon as I knew I was pregnant I stopped everything and comletely researched as much as I could. From everything I read I could find absolutely no conclusive studies that drug use in pregnancy and breastfeeding was harmful or not, because those kind of studies just don't get run, funded or supported. The only study I could find was the Jamaican one. But that didn't feel enough evidence to me to risk my baby on. So I made a pact with myself that I would not take anything that I wouldn't directly put in my babies mouth while pregnant and breastfeeding and I didn't. I wouldn't have felt right other wise.

brevit and mapley, sensible posts.... TY

If you are prepared to be honest, with yourself and with your Doctor, you might even find that there are other, legal, prescribed drugs that would help.

There are multiple, entirely different 'families' of antidepressant alone (SSRI, SNRI, NRI, NDRI, NDRA, tricyclic, tetracyclics and MAOIs), plus lots more for bipolar (you talk of having manic episodes) and other conditions which are not pure depression. They work in different ways, have different side effects and work for different people. Some of them are also accepted to be safe both in pregnancy and breastfeeding.

Of course you can choose to stop smoking. It is hard, but lots of people manage it successfully. You can choose to take responsbility for your own life and that of your daughter. You could even choose not to be with your partner if he prioritises drugs over you and her. You can choose to give your daughter an upbringing different to your own (and for which you seem to blame your problems)

Equally, you can choose not to do any of these things. It is up to you. The only problem is that you aren't the only one whose life and future is affected by this (and if you blame your upbringing in even the slightest way whatsoever, isn't that an incentive to do things differently for the next generation?). You can look back or you can look forward. It really is up to you. You know how to say No - the question is whether you want to...

I think you are very brave to post here. The fact you are asking for help proves that you are a good parent and want the best for you daughter.

I don't know anyone that still smoked weed while pregnant, or afterwards, but plenty of people who were smokers before and had to give up. Some of them also found it difficult, but they all did manage. One friend really struggled and had some CBT therapy through a drugs clinic in the end which is how she finally managed to knock it on the head.

If you are smoking every day and were not able to stop immediately when you found out you were pregnant then you are addicted. Addiction to anything isn't healthy for you. You are not having the odd joint to unwind, you are smoking because you are dependent on the drug to live your normal life, get to sleep etc. This is something that you both need to address so that you can be happy, healthy adults.

I would concentrate on that rather than looking at studies on the physical impact on your daughter. It's obviously not going to be good for her, but what she needs most is happy, functional parents, and that means you both becoming free of addiction now, and for the rest of all of your lives.

I really wouldn't be frightened of seeking professional help. It's what they are there for. I'd contact a cannabis addiction helpline first because they'll be able to reassure you about the situation with Social Services. I doubt very much that they would get involved in your case, but it would be worth seeking advice to put your mind at rest before letting your health visitor know.

Good luck, and be assured life will definitely better for all three of you once you have stopped, although it may not seem that way now. That's the thing about addiction, it's only once you've beaten it, that you realise how much you needed to.

"That's the thing about addiction, it's only once you've beaten it, that you realise how much you needed to." Alpinechildcare

hear, hear :)

Good post, Mapley.

'Cannabis in all its forms is evil. So is tobacco, so are smack, pills, cocaine and every other life destroying substance. Alcohol is a grey area as there do seem to be a few people who can drink 1-2 glasses a week but they are in a small minority.'

I disagree. Moderate and controlled use of some drugs isn't always life destroying. And I would contest that only a 'small minority' of alcohol drinkers can control their consumption. That's absolute rubbish.

I think that the OP does have issues with dependence.
But let's not use this specific situation to paint an unrealistic picture of all drug users/drinkers

I'd say that smoking weed while brestfeeding is a revolutionary act if anything, personally I smoke a fat cone when I wake up in the morning, if I had to deal with a baby I'd probably be smoking 5-10.

haha, well, Im not a troll either, but a somewhat detached observer, but I thought I'd weigh in, after all, she's a legend

Please read the link below.

Yes these parents were on stronger drugs but the same can so easily happen. Alcohol, canabis, prescription drugs can all impair otherwise good judgement.

www.burnleyexpress.net/news/local-news/burnley-baby-had-catastrophic-injuries-1-5212180

If you are smoking in the house your baby is breathing it in regardless of who is smoking it.

Don't be fooled, I gave a lift to a neighbour's child. When I got back I told her granmother I could smell canabis on her coat. Granmother started to give me an earbashing about how she only smoked when the children were in bed.

But her grandaghter's coat was hanging up in hall and picked up the smell.

I'm not going to judge you, once you get into a habit it is difficult to break, and your partner is not helping.

If you really can't stop could you have one evening a week without it?

Don't you just hate reading three pages of a thread before you realise it's a zombie?

OP, do you want to stop, really??

No matter what the opinion of all these hoiked up judgypants, if you don't want to, you won't.

However, if you do, I can advise that you need to fill the time when you would be smoking with something else. I made lavender bags . Or have a nice king bath. Do not replace the weed with booze, in fact no booze for at least a month.

With regard to DH, just avoid him if he carries on smoking in the evening, take yourself off to bed with a good book or trashy magazine.

If you really want to stop, you can, but if you don't want to, you won't. It's that simple.

Oh poop, just seen how old this thread is, my excuse - I'm flu ridden and full of snot!

I know this is a really old post, reading through this I can not believe how naive, judgemental, uneducated and mainly, sucked in by propaganda a lot of you really are!

Studies have been condensed, and the effects were NOTHING. The amount of THC of which passed through in to the Breast milk were TINY. In answere to your question, to Breast feed while smoking is much more beneficial to your baby then to formula feed. Formula feeding condems PROVEN risks, whereas smoking weed while feeding has not?! Obesity, diabetes, asthma, eczema, and not all the relatively new research on allergies and babies open gut.

I know many people who smoke and feed and their babies / children whom are now adults are absolutely fine, not to mention highly successful, intelligent people.

In relation to '"third hand smoke'" , I am sure that you know not to smoke in the same house, and to wear different clothing, wash hands etc.
A LOT of parents smoke cigarettes around their children and don't take the extra precautions. I'll leave you to decide which would be more harmful, cigarette smoke or cannabis smoke alone?

To all the people who judged and implied OP was not putting her child first by continuing to smoke. That's just over the top and unfair. Mothers / fathers can drink alcohol and not be seen as putting it before their children? Look at how people act while under the influence of alcohol?! Alcohol is by far much worse for your health, it's one of the biggest killer DRUGS. Yes, alcohol is also a DRUG! The only difference is the government can make money from alcohol and regulate it easily. Also people like you, ignorant, blind and closed minded would kick up a rucous to the government if they were to legalise cannabis, because of this lack of education and non open mind.

YOU know what your smoking, how much you can smoke etc. So being incapable of looking after your children is insane. You seem very mature and sensible. smoking a couple of joints or whatnot is NOT causing any harm to your child. As long as mentally, and physically you are able to look after your child, provide and be a mum, there is no problem with it.

Relaxed, chilled out parents, relaxed and chilled out child. Stressed, uptight parents, stressed up tight child!

Good luck.

Hi there, just replied to a thread from a few years ago. Felt really strongly about it actually!x

mama the baby in question, is probably about four.

Well it's the perfect age now to find out what problems that baby has now from taking dope in pregnancy. You don't find out until development problems happen later on.

I wonder if op will update?

So many of those posts from 2011 would have been deleted now for being a PA!

Just stop it. My mum's a pothead as are most of her friends. They are all hopeless 70 year old addicts. Even if it's natural and not skunk it's bad, might be links with learning difficulties (I have dyslexia) but my mum didn't smoke while pregnant/breastfeeding. If it's skunk it's really dangerous for the mental health of you, your partner and especially your baby.

Reviving zombie threads is a really annoying thing to do.

This is old!!