Poor Kids

[NearlySpring]

Documentary on BBC1 now.

Sat here in tears watching this show following children living in poverty.

One woman, with 3 young girls all under 8. Her partner left her alone and she is struggling with money. The girls were given a sausage roll each for dinner. They are let out to play on a building site and derelict houses- where the he'll is the mother? Mother comes on saying how she can't cope financially- kids saying they have to miss meals as mummy can't always afford food. Next scene, mother has acrylic nails and a massive dog!

AIBU to ask if she can't afford to feed her kids basic cheap meals how the he'll does she feed a massive dog that is bigger than her 3 kids put together!

It must be terrible to be in that situation but surely you get your priorities straight. Who has a pet if they have no money?!!

I agree with people just not knowing. I think "how could they not " but in truth they really don't. My parents had my brother in the late 70's when they were still teens and I followed a few years later. They were very young and very poor, but my father worked like a dog and we squeaked by. My mother was extremely conscious of what the children of young poor mothers were supposed to be like and spent all her energy making sure we were the opposite. We (and our house) were always spotless and she drilled manners into us.

Because I grew up with that, I can make do now that my DH and I don't have much money. (We don't have the level of poverty described here, don't think that I'm comparing myself with their struggle!) All of our clothes are secondhand, all of our food made from scratch Aldi's ingredients. :) We get books and movies from the library and don't do much else. And I look at some of the parents around town and think, it's not that hard, you can do this. But then I see generation after generation raised to not "act snobby" by working hard and trying for a good job. If everyone around you is the same, how would you know any better?

Is there a link to this documentary somewhere? What's it called? I'd like to watch it.

It is on BBC I player

www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/

I am terribly middle class. I had a very affluent childhood, and I know it. The conditions the families featured in the programme were living in are so far outside my experience that I can't begin to imagine it, let alone judge.

Here are my thoughts:

• it would be cruel beyond measure to cut the families' benefits purely because someone somewhere thinks the cash is being spent fecklessly.

• it would be cruel beyond measure to restrict future increases in benefits for the same reason.

• every adult should be allowed to indulge in treats now and then to make life more bearable, without being judged.

• The parents should be helped, not blamed or criticised.

• I have absolutely no idea what to do to help them. I would be very interested to hear from anyone who has practical solutions.

Erm. It's just showing me something about Depression in Cricket?

Oh I found it :)

www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b011vnls/Poor_Kids/

try that one

Won't play. Not available in my area. :(

whoops

www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b011vnls/Poor_Kids/

Oh it's on Youtube! at how many times I've posted in a row...

Genuine question to CheerfulYank - do some people really think that it's snobby to work hard and aim high(er)? The reason I ask is because it implies that such people do have at least an idea of how to improve their lot but (for whatever reason, I'm not judging) choose not to, rather than finding themselves simply unable to cope.

I think that if you don't have any debt then benefits should allow you sufficient money to feed your family. However there is the expectation, especially amongst kids, that you need to have certain things in life e.g. Playstation, widescreen TV etc., and if they don't have these things then the gulf between them and their peers widens even further and they become more and more isolated.The only way parents can buy these items, and often other household appliances e.g. washing machine etc. is to go somewhere like BrightHouse and pay astronomical amounts of interest. There begins the spiralling of debt and your benefits disappear into a black hole. I got the feeling that Sam's dad didn't really know what he was entitled to; he had previously been earning £400 pw (presumably before he was left to care for his 2 kids) and he was clearly doing his best for his family as the cupboards were full and he was cooking them meals. I though that they were great children who would hopefully succeed in later life.

Budgeting and cooking nutritious food are skills that you usually learn from your parents and family but if they don't possess those skills then they don't get passed on. Life is expensive; fuel and food are increasing in price constantly and I fear this situation will just worsen as public sector cuts bite. We should all count our blessings.

Its oh so easy for you all to judge. Until you have been in that situation you cant possibly understand what the hell goes on. Im actually quite disgusted by the attitude of some of you on here. Do you seriously fucking thing they want to live like that. Do you not realise that once you hit the bottom its not easy to get back up again. Half of them have probably never heard of bloody free cycle. Some of them could not afford bus to town let alone find out where bloody jumble sales are. You only saw a small bit of what happens in their lives. You will never understand the deeper problems.

In what way was it scripted ? They asked them to asnswer questions about thier name and location, that was all. I am amazed by the lack of empathy on here at times.

I lived like that in the 80's with a working single mother. It was hell.

Damn, I didn't realise it was last night this was on: is it the same children who were in the GUardian magazine on Saturday?

Making jibes about the mother's nails is a way to pretend no-one is poor who doesn't deserve it, and let your conscience off the hook, anyway.

Definately going to watch when I get home from work later.

My thoughts so far are that I don't think people mean to judge harshly, but to those people who have... Poverty is a cycle; so if the children's mothers grew up in poverty then they're more than likely copying what their own mothers did with regard to budgeting etc. It isn't a gene! Having less money doesn't suddenly make you money savvy and awesome at whipping up a nutritious meal from half an onion and bugger all else.

Have thought about it a bit more - one thing that can really impact on a family is problems with benefits (often not the fault of the family, usually due to a mess up at benefit office).

I worked with families who have budgeted for the week, then on the day its meant to arrive the Income Support (for example) doesn't get paid. Thats £65 gone for the week, and Provident loans are much easier to get than the social fund.

Hopefully Sams dad will get elder daughters child benefit backdated but like he said it still buids up debt in the meantime.

Sorry feel like I'm not making my point very well.

builds up debt

Totally agree op. I have 3 dd's under 9. I am claiming benefits whilst looking for work. I am sorry but you do get enough to get by. I can just about afford a weeks shop and my bills. Yes some weeks its a struggle and if one of the kids needs shoes or clothes i might borrow £20 from my mam.

Why doesnt the lazy bitch use her milk tokens to buy fruit and veg, get herself a bag of past and hayho i nice healthy meal instead of greegs sausage rolls

Theres loads of mothers and kids like this where i live. The kids have nowt as the mothers see fit to piss their income support and child benefit up the wall.

Things like this give people having to claim benefits a really bad name.

Agree with Dione.

I used to work in a really poor area of a city and I remember one little girl of around 8 telling me one day "You know, I'm the only one in my family who ever goes to get the chips." Turns out she was sent to the chip shop every evening to get the dinner for the whole family - Mum, Dad and 6 kids (she was the eldest). Aside from the malnutrition issues of only eating chips, it's certinaly not the cheapest way to feed a family. I voiced my concerns about the girl to a colleague, and her attitude was to go and tell the mum to buy a pound of mince and a bag of potatoes. Can imagine how that idea would be received. I don't know the answer, but it's not simple.

I'd like to see some of the people that made nasty comments on here "budget" on that amount for a year or two.

I have never ever not had my benefits paid and would be able to collect an emergency giro if it wasnt