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AIBU?

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Original poster

Poor Kids

559 replies

NearlySpring · 07/06/2011 23:08

Documentary on BBC1 now.

Sat here in tears watching this show following children living in poverty.

One woman, with 3 young girls all under 8. Her partner left her alone and she is struggling with money. The girls were given a sausage roll each for dinner. They are let out to play on a building site and derelict houses- where the he'll is the mother? Mother comes on saying how she can't cope financially- kids saying they have to miss meals as mummy can't always afford food. Next scene, mother has acrylic nails and a massive dog!

AIBU to ask if she can't afford to feed her kids basic cheap meals how the he'll does she feed a massive dog that is bigger than her 3 kids put together!

It must be terrible to be in that situation but surely you get your priorities straight. Who has a pet if they have no money?!!

OP posts:
cantspel · 07/06/2011 23:59

rough estate? she is happy enough for her kids to play unsupervised all over it so she isn't that afraid of it.

worraliberty · 08/06/2011 00:01

Well she'd have to do without the dog if she lived in a home that wouldn't allow it.

Anyway, every mouthful of food that dog eats..is taking food out of those kid's mouths. Same as the £1 stick on nails (if that's what they are) that's a loaf of bread FFS.

cantspel · 08/06/2011 00:02

If you could buy those nails for £1 in pounland then all the nail bars would go out of business.

If you looked in the background of the house there was a large bottle of coke on the table. Around my way that would cost you about £1.70 which would make a proper meal rather than giving the girls a sauageroll for tea.

Capiche · 08/06/2011 00:04

is there a link to the blog please?

LordOfTheFlies · 08/06/2011 00:11

Watching this programme I was in awe how un-bratty these children were.I can imagine the script was adhered to and probably cut heavily.
Maybe if they were older they'd have been the "bored,nothing to do,getting into drink/drugs".
But they were all 'oh my mum/dad does their best with not alot of money'.
Either they were very accepting or sadly just so downtrodden

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 08/06/2011 00:21

I thought the dog was a pony at first Blush

GypsyMoth · 08/06/2011 00:22

I felt most sorry for the teen girl.

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 08/06/2011 00:24

Those kids were so bloody lovely, it made me think of all my own two have and the holidays etc they take for granted.

I now feel very Sad

slartybartfast · 08/06/2011 00:26

there is another shall we say less judgey thread

slartybartfast · 08/06/2011 00:27

not so much mention of the nails and the dog here www.mumsnet.com/Talk/telly_addicts/1232139-Poor-Kids

DioneTheDiabolist · 08/06/2011 00:27

Wow. I can't believe that having watched a programme that showed our children are not adequately sheltered, healthy, clothed or fed that your first instinct was to slag off their parents, who obviously have issues.

Instead of dealing with the material presented (children living appalling lives), you prefer to pull on the judgey pants and offer up the posibility that the children weren't really thinking or believing what they said.

I am not a million miles away from their situation. All it would take is for two kitchen appliences to break and I'm right there, but sure it would be all my own fault and screw my offspring. Right?

Original poster
NearlySpring · 08/06/2011 00:27

They were just so lovely. They seemed to accept the fct that they had nothing.. No dreams, no aspirations. That little girl saying about not evening having any paper and colouring pens :(

I have always found that people who struggle with money and live in crap council flats usually keep their homes spotless.

I honestly believe the mother of that child needs some serious help. Maybe she's given up? Depressed? Those kids should not be playing in derelict houses! They should not be missing meals! :(

OP posts:
worraliberty · 08/06/2011 00:31

Exactly. They shouldn't be allowed to play in dangerous places.

That's got nothing to do with being rich or poor..it's common sense.

MumblingRagDoll · 08/06/2011 00:32

Oh I suppose she should be in rags and scrubbing the floors of rich people for a few extra quid should she?

Did anyone ever read George Orwell? In the 30s when there was some really bad poverty, smug middle class people spouted how the poor could live healthily on the allowance they had....and George Orwell who lived like the poor as a journalistic exxperiment said ...yes...if they ate the veg raw....because they'd not have the cash to cook it!

and he reiterated how the grind of poverty makes it NECESSARY for people to have a "little treat"....something to keep them going.

So smug some people on here. Talking about things they know little of.

MumblingRagDoll · 08/06/2011 00:33

worra When you've lived the lives some people have, common sense isn't always on hand.

cantspel · 08/06/2011 00:35

So we cant judge the parenting just because they are poor?

Sorry but imo if people judeged more may kids wouldn't be living like this.
It is one thing to be poor but that poverty is made worse by crap parents.

Living on benefits doesn't mean you have to live in a shit hole and be left to play in decelict houses.

cantspel · 08/06/2011 00:38

Oh I suppose she should be in rags and scrubbing the floors of rich people for a few extra quid should she?

What is wrong with scrubbing floors for a few quid? i have scrubbed alot worse for a few quid so my children wouldn't go without.

worraliberty · 08/06/2011 00:39

Oh please!

I live in one of the poorest Boroughs in London (I think it's the 6th or something poorest in the UK) and believe me, just because you are poor...does not mean you allow your kids to play in dangerous deralict buildings.

If the parents were rich and that lax I'm sure people would have something to say about it. Income has nothing to do with common sense and safety.

DioneTheDiabolist · 08/06/2011 00:43

Of course you can judge. You have judged. Does living on benefits mean you have to live in a shithole? Sometimes yes. Does it mean that your kids will play in derelict houses? In the absence of safe outdoor play areas, probably? Are some parents crap? Hell yes, and instead of doing anything about it, they are left to struggle and their children suffer their parent's lack of support. But don't let any of that bother you. Just adjust your judgey pants and feel smug.

worraliberty · 08/06/2011 00:47

Look, being poor does mean you have to live in a shit hole sometimes but it does not mean you can't clean the shit hole.

Feeding kids when you're poor is hard but it does not mean you should feed animals that takes the food out of your kid's mouths.

If you live on a street, it does not mean your poor kids can't play in it and they have to seek out dangerous derilict buildings.

Surely you can see that?

sundayrose10 · 08/06/2011 00:50

This programme made me want to cry. I also felt afraid. I'm so scared of poverty and all that it brings, my head spins.

Can I just ask - benefits are paid a set amount for single parents/low income. How come other people living on the same amount of benefits, do not have those issues - i.e, feeding their children, keeping a clean home.

I'm not having a go because I don't even want to imagine that level of hardship, but I was wondering what happens to their benefits? also council properties get repaired by the council.

The bed mattress had no covers. The kids rooms made my head spin. Really badly.

I wish I could help. That boy Sam, I think I love him. All the kids were beautiful with beautiful spirits. No child should have to live a life like that. Their eyes...poor babies.

MumblingRagDoll · 08/06/2011 00:51

What I am saying is that some people know no better or they have had such shit lives..wth abuse and other troubles, that they're not as strong as you..or I...who are probably more than capable of coping in that situation.

I don't think sneery comments about some cheapo nails are going to change things.

MumblingRagDoll · 08/06/2011 00:53

Sunday in my experience, people who have come from a solid family...where they've learned from their parents about what matters and how t manage, can cope on benefits...yes...it's very hard but their kids will have clean clothes and food, the house will be furnished etc

Others are not from solid backgrounds...they have not been taught to budget...or to clean...or to put the kids first. Their home were shitholes...and poverty begets poverty.

DioneTheDiabolist · 08/06/2011 00:56

Children will explore and take risks. If they live next to a forest, they will (with or without parental consent) sneak into them, climb trees, get lost, if they live around unsecured, derelict buildings, they will do the same.

Of course one can clean the house and most people should and do. Those who don't often suffer mental health problems and it didn't take a psychiatrist to see that the parents of the children featured in that programme had problems. Thing is, instead of shouting about how wrong it is that society is not doing enough to help these kids and feeling angry, it's easier to just judge the parents and feel smug.

The UK's record on child poverty is appalling and should be tackled. This programme shows that it is not being tackled and is getting worse. But don't let any of this concern you, just blame the parents, forget the kids and move on.

worraliberty · 08/06/2011 00:57

What I am saying is that some people know no better or they have had such shit lives..wth abuse and other troubles, that they're not as strong as you..or I...who are probably more than capable of coping in that situation

I do agree with that Mumbling but it has nothing to do with poverty imo.

Actually, any parent with any income could possibly fit that description.

What I'm trying to say (albeit badly) is that poverty is not an excuse for not putting your children first