Poor Kids

[NearlySpring]

Documentary on BBC1 now.

Sat here in tears watching this show following children living in poverty.

One woman, with 3 young girls all under 8. Her partner left her alone and she is struggling with money. The girls were given a sausage roll each for dinner. They are let out to play on a building site and derelict houses- where the he'll is the mother? Mother comes on saying how she can't cope financially- kids saying they have to miss meals as mummy can't always afford food. Next scene, mother has acrylic nails and a massive dog!

AIBU to ask if she can't afford to feed her kids basic cheap meals how the he'll does she feed a massive dog that is bigger than her 3 kids put together!

It must be terrible to be in that situation but surely you get your priorities straight. Who has a pet if they have no money?!!

FlamingFanny, there are many variables.
Not all benefits are the same. Not all people on benefits qualify for cold weather payments for example.
Due to the shortage of social housing, many people on benefits rent privately. HB is capped and often isn't enough to cover the rent and so before a penny is spent on anything else, rent has to be covered.
Education, experience and confidence help.
Family are necessary. I am on benefits, I get by with difficulty. It would be impossible without the help of my family who buy coats, shoes, help out with uniforms and days out.

well done you

the programme was about other people who are in poverty, we dont know why but it is a cycle.

oops that was to stotie cakes btw

fifi....add on free school meals
uniform grant
cold weather payments
subsidised school trips
EMA for 6th formers
fruit/milk/veg tokens for under 5's
budgeting loan availability

there is no need for poverty.

What made me sad was the fact that all the children knew how poor they were and how much money the parents had coming in. We grew up below the povery line and although we knew we were poor, we didnt know in much detail, and it didnt consume us.

I do agree that they could have picked families that didnt live in squalor. There must be thousands of low income families out there that live in nice, tidy houses. I know because I did.

My parents were dirt poor, we never ate crap, we had no car, no TV and no washing machine. We did have a holiday every year and I recently learned that two days a week my mother didn't eat. I never knew that we were poor.

My parents always worked.

I didnt know you could get a school uniform grant.
I forgot the cold weather payments. I get £25 if the temperature goes below o.

Haven't heard about this (we disconnected our telly to save money) but this is a really interesting thread. I will watch it and also read the other one somebody linked to.

Somebody mentioned a blog - can anyone provide a link please?

again, good for you.
obiovulsy not in poverty.

have some empathy those of you.

blog

Those who believe that people on benefits don't have to live in poverty might like to come stay at my house, we live on benefits due to disability. I never have new clothes, maybe something from a charity shop. Dd's school uniform cost about £150, the other 50% paid by the school. Our (Tory) LEA don't do uniform grant, nor do they control the cost. When I lived in a high crime area, people had big dogs because they couldn't get/afford insurance. The depression that often/inevitably comes with interminable unemployment and poverty knocks the hope out of people. Maybe thats why they basically can't be arsed to do the stuff we all try to do.

fifi true enough about jobcentre staff having to deal with rude customers too, it does seem to kick off regularly in there.

The crisis loan ringing you back is national but have seen people not been rung back it 5pm and no chance of getting giro etc.

"the programme was about other people who are in poverty, we dont know why but it is a cycle."

It was about other people, yet Stottie's post is incredibly relevant. Stottie can do the essentials on a low income, probably because she's very brilliant in very many ways. We should be helping people who are struggling to be equally brilliant. Teach them to cook cheaply. Get them on MSE. That sort of thing.

Oh, and we should outlaw more expensive fuel tarriffs for PAYG. Outrageous.

my family ended up in a bad situation three years ago. DH took a new job but wasn't shown the actual part of the building he was working in. he has asthma and it was a really dirty dusty environment as a result he has reprated chest infections and asthma attacks. at the end of his probationary period they let him go.

The insurance we had for mortgage and loans had small print that meant we weren't covered. As I was a full time student he was only able to claim JSA for himself of £56 weekly but becuae he has been paid £700 on his last day he couldn't put a claim in for three weeks. The £700 only covered the mortgage for that month and the council tax, it was awful it was the summer holidays so we had to find the money for three school uniforms. I wan't due my student loan of £1500 until mid september.

DH and myself lived on toast and we just about managed to feed our DC's at times the electricity ran out it was a truly depressing time. He found work in the Oct but had to work a month in hand. We nearly lost the house and it has taken us until now three years on to get straight. We were turned down for a crisis loan, DH used to walk the three miles to town to sign on as we sold the banger of a car for £300 to pay the milkman and buy school uniforms.

We had no savings as DH only earned min wage which just about cover the bills each month. It is really hard to get up once your on that slippery slope

loan not loans

I would like to send some money to these families could Mumsnet set up a fund and get it to them ?

I'm always shocked at how condescending people can be and how black and white some people see things.

Of course nobody wants their children to live in poverty and of course people on the lowest benefits get more support but is it enough? Is it really?

Just some of the points made on this thread. Comments about how items of clothing only need to cost £2 or so... so if you have £2 in your purse and need milk or new trousers for the kids, which will it be? How often do you think these parents think to themselves "Oh I must get little J new trousers tomorrow as his are so short" and then tomorrow comes and they realise they have no shampoo left, or the child needs a present to take to a party, or the pushchair breaks, or the cot mattress rips...

Having no money is one of the most singularly most stressful events I hve ever experienced (and thankfully it lasted only a short time). I cannot imagine living like that all the time.

I do agree with people who commented poverty is no excuse for squalor and I feel the program was quite misrepresentional in that respect, plenty of people with no money keep a tidy house BUT it was thought provoking. If you have no money and the kids throw up in bed and the wallpaper is ruined and peels off, that's how it will stay. If the carpet rips on the stairs and you pull it up for fear of falling, who can afford to replace it?

No money is a vicious cycle. If you have to rely on finance for a washing machine, a fridge, a freezer... then pay back monthly, you're down much money before you even start.

Add in your children needing things others take for granted - their hair cut, cough medicine, deodorant, a school bag, new pe kit, trainers, football boots so they can play in the school team, a present for the friend they care about at christmas, xmas cards for ther classmates, swimming lessons, bicycle, a warm coat, a duvet...

Then another thing, some people find themselves in situations unexpectedly. Their partner walks out, they lose their job, their child becomes ill... if you have financial committments and lose your income, dropping to benefits is very very hard. Easy to buy things on tick and think "We'll get over this, we'll find work again" and then 1 year on you hve £6k debts... can't get a council house as you own a home, need it reposessed before you can be put in emergancy accommodation - the emergancy accommodation is a hostel full of addicts on the other side of town from school...

So what would you do? Pay the mortgage on the credit card and start the spiral of debts? Or put up and shut up?

I just feel desperately sorry for anybody trapped in this cycle. So many people simply do not know how to find the way out and they need so much time invested in them, time that the housing associations can't give, time social workers can't give, time health professionals can't give...

So much more I want to say but am wittering now, suffice to add that some attitudes make me mad. Not all children living in poverty have drunk crackhead parents...

well said feckwit

a lot of people don't own a hoover - it is an expensive piece of kit. Sweeping old carpet is difficult needs doing too often, ripping them out causes splinters it is really not as simple as people think.

"Why, for example, does Fran have a dog when she struggles to feed the kids?

"For my family's security," she said. "Do you know what it's like living on an estate alongside drug addicts?"

No, I don't, thank God.

The kids used to have bikes but they were taken from the garden. She also recounts a story about strangers breaking into the house.

That's why, as a single mum with three vulnerable young girls, she has a dog. I was then embarrassed I'd asked the question
"

from the blog posted above thanks for that

My parents neve had an overdraft either, no hp, no debt. But that's because it wasn't commonplace then, you possibly had to go and chat with your bank manager. Now it's easy to get into a spiral of debt. We're just coming out of one now and our household income is fairly sizable, we're not poor. But we overspent.

TBH, I'd be surprised if all people had an innate ability to keep a house warm and properly feed and clothe a family on a low income.

The way our welfare system just sort of assumes everyone can manage such a difficult trick is a bit stupid IMO.