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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not have a 2 year old check up on my dd

32 replies

AuntiePickleBottom · 07/06/2011 18:49

it will be a waste of the HV time, as dd doen't interact with "strangers" she hasn't seen the HV in over a year so to her she is a stranger.

OP posts:
Zimm · 07/06/2011 18:54

Yanbu. Just look in red book and tick off the things yourself. Hvs are a waste of time.

Pagwatch · 07/06/2011 18:56

I didn't do the check up either.
But can I ask, why does your dd not interact with strangers?

Dozer · 07/06/2011 18:57

In surrey they have stopped doing these checks anyway.

TheMonster · 07/06/2011 18:57

Lol I read the title as meaning you didn't want your dd (I was picturing a baby) to be checked up on by a 2 year old Grin

worraliberty · 07/06/2011 18:58

Why not take her and see if she does this time?

worraliberty · 07/06/2011 18:59

Eeyore that's exactly how I read it Grin

TandB · 07/06/2011 18:59

It isn't particularly helpful as a check-up. We moved fairly recently so the HV made an appointment to come and introduce herself. She said she might as well do the 2 year-check at the same time as DS is only 6 weeks away from turning 2.

It was all really basic stuff like 'can he bend over?' and 'can he hold a cup?' - things that you probably would have picked up as problems if a child wasn't doing them by now.

thisisyesterday · 07/06/2011 19:00

well it's up to you. if you have no concerns then don't go, it isn't compulsory

i won't be for ds3. i've had a letter telling me i can come, and where they do the checks etc but i just can't really be bothered.
if they'd sent me an appt i would have probably gone tho

pigletmania · 07/06/2011 19:00

page a lot of young children do not interact with unfamiliar people nothing abnormal about it.

pigletmania · 07/06/2011 19:01

Some are just very shy and wary, the child is only 2

Pagwatch · 07/06/2011 19:02

I didn't say it was abnormal.
I just asked if there was a reason. Dd chatted to every bloody one then she hit three and a half and wouldn't come out from behind my legs.
Just curious

Pagwatch · 07/06/2011 19:04

Oooh kaaay.

I will remember not to ask questions in future. Stupid me and my chit chat

CareyFakes · 07/06/2011 19:06

I didn't take DD cause I couldn't be arsed, I filled in the form and sent it back. No concerns on her development, and we haven't seen an HV since she was 8 weeks old Shock

Yekke · 07/06/2011 19:06

Eeyore, I read it as you did too. :o

YANBU, APB. I'm sure that you're fully able to work out whether your daughter is developing appropriately without the need for a visit from some patronising bloody HV.

ILoveDrKarl · 07/06/2011 19:07

we don't get 2 year check ups here and I don't think my kids missed out at all so no yanbu

Original poster
AuntiePickleBottom · 07/06/2011 19:08

in a way i wish she would, would make going to the doctors ect easier.

sorry about the misleading title, but just had the HV for the 3rd time ringing me to make an appoinment to which i have said she doesn't need a 2 year review.

i have no problems with her development, she can do things most 2 year old can do

OP posts:
exoticfruits · 07/06/2011 19:19

I would go-the more practise she gets with interacting with strangers the better. It is no big deal and won't take long.

Pagwatch · 07/06/2011 19:22

The hv didn't mi d at all when I said I wouldn't be bringing dd in and that if I had any concerns I would call her for an appt or probably go and see the gp
Never did go. Grin

cwtch4967 · 07/06/2011 19:35

Take her. My HV was fab and spotted things with DS that I hadn't picked up on - he had a speech delay but I wasn't really concerned as all kids are different but she realised there was possibly more to it and suggested he be referred to the community pead. As it turns out he has autism and learning difficulties - I am so grateful to my HV as early diagnosis has been a good thing as he now gets the help he needs.

Take her - if everything is fine (as it should be) then you will have peace of mind IF not then the sooner things are investigated the better.

mrsravelstein · 07/06/2011 19:39

my 3dc have all seen a hv once each ever. they all seem to be fine. if there's anything wrong, i go to the doctor.

SparklyCloud · 07/06/2011 20:32

Agree with cwtch4967. My health visitor also picked up on something I thought was normal and was not.

SuchProspects · 07/06/2011 21:16

My DCs' two year check up was a waste of time for me. It was well organized, which was at odds with my other experiences with them. Unfortunately, since the "experts" didn't even look at the girls and only talked to DH and me, I already knew everything they had to tell me. They did try to use the time to push us towards norms that we had rejected for good reason, which was well meant but tedious.

If you have any concerns at all it might be worth it and while it was a waste of time for me my DCs enjoyed it and I would only have been at the park or trying to entertain them at home otherwise, so it was no great loss.

working9while5 · 07/06/2011 21:44

"They did try to use the time to push us towards norms that we had rejected for good reason, which was well meant but tedious."

What does this mean?

mouseanon · 07/06/2011 21:46

Neither of mine had them. I got sent a tick list through the post and told to contact them if I had any concerns.

Abelia · 07/06/2011 21:50

YANBU, it is pretty pointless particularly if you have to make a trip for it.

HV visited me for 2 yr check as I'd recently moved into the borough. DS was asleep when she arrived. He eventually woke up, stayed shy and sleepy, not interested in doing anything other than having cuddles. She said "I can see he is completely fine and on track with all his milestones" and left!