Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel like crying over the loss of my cat?

157 replies

CRS · 05/06/2011 18:05

just done missing posters, but in my heart of hearts, I know he's a gone - a. No road sense and never been away for more than a couple of hours before. Sob.

OP posts:
thefirstmrsrochester · 06/06/2011 23:42

CSR - i got 2 cats from cat protection who were like brothers - enormous yet they slept in a tangled heap. they had been house cats - we are semi rural so the bolder of the two cats couldnt believe his luck - birds to catch and lady cats to chase. He disappeared and there was no sight or sound for 18 months. I got another cat from cat protection to buddy the existing cat and lo, a week later cat protection call me to say my cat has been found! Several villages away! I met with the lady with whom my/the/our cat was with and decided that 'jinx' was best off with her. Im glad i found out what had happened and very glad he was found by someone who loved him enough to make him 'their cat'.
Never give up hope - cats are a law entirely unto themselves.

Kallista · 06/06/2011 23:43

No-one is BU when it comes to pets. My BFF was heartbroken when her pet rabbit died recently :-(.
Good luck and best wishes in finding your cat, CRS. I have mates whose cats have: been ill and hidden in undergrowth, been 'tempted' away by neighbours' food and fuss, got distracted when outside then got disorientated, was scared away by a dog or fiercer cat, or got trapped somewhere. All except one of these cats returned - one was found after 9 weeks!

So don't give up hope. Keep the notices up on lamposts, newsagents, supermarket notice board, local paper and vets; give out flyers over at least half mile radius (scan a photo) and redo this once a week, keep calling him, and if you see any neighbours outside then ask them to recheck garages etc.

Original poster
CRS · 06/06/2011 23:48

Thanks - I know this is not at all the worst thing (or anywhere near!) that can happen - but we are really fond of the little bugger cat, and he DOES feel like one of the family! I know my other post last night got the shit ripped oput of it but I wasn't really equating the non pregnancy with the loss of cat - just that both combined made me want to shout! Obviously, I don't think infertility is on a par with cat loss!

OP posts:
Fecklessdizzy · 06/06/2011 23:49

Cats Protection League are well worth a try ... They were brilliant when one of our dozy kittens went AWOL.

Hope he turns up. You could try local vets as well ...

Fingers crossed.

iscream · 06/06/2011 23:55

Did you verify the drowned cat was not yours?
It is not fluffy or trivial to loose a pet. I thi k most of us have loved an animal at sometime in our lives.
My friends cat was gone for 5 months, and just wandered home one day. She lived in the country and never did figure out where she had been all that time, but she wasn in good condition, had not been missing meals and didn't have fleas or loose any weight.
Keep us posted.

floweryblue · 07/06/2011 00:03

Didn't see your post about fertility or whatever it was that had you a new Biscuit

My fave cat, now deceased, used to disappear for two weeks every time I moved house. Every time, I trawled the neighbourhood, knowing he would be lost for ever, he never was, he just came back when his exploring gene ran out.

His mum and brother have never disappeared in the same way.

CRS, when I moved and nowXH was away and fave cat was missing other cat jumped a two story window and I had to take him to the vets for injuries, the vets were more worried about me than the injured cat. I was so panicky and hysterical about both of them.

Original poster
CRS · 07/06/2011 00:09

Drowned cat wasn't mine - was someone else's pet I know, so :( I got a bad reaponse cos I posted something like "not pregnant AND lost cat, can I scream!" Bit insensitive, I guess, but I wasn't equating lost cat with lack of fertility, honest, just a bad day!

OP posts:
Original poster
CRS · 07/06/2011 00:10

reaponse? i meant response!

OP posts:
floweryblue · 07/06/2011 00:13

CRS that sounds like a very bad day

Original poster
CRS · 07/06/2011 00:16

Oh God - that sounded wrong too! I didn't mean the loss of a cat is anywhere as bad as other issues, just that I, personally, was having a bad time, and maybe the cat thing had over taken! Sorry! Still not right - need to try and be more articulate! OF COURSE I didn't mean lost cats are to be equated with lost babies!! (Digs deeper hole :( )

OP posts:
TakeMeDrunkImHome · 07/06/2011 00:20

I really don't think you are/have dug any kind of hole. Losing a pet is a horrible thing and there are very few people that would be cold enough to say it doesn't matter. Although I didn't comment on your seperate post that, unfairly IMO, was massively overreacted too in a lately unpleasantly typical MN way, I did read it. It was pretty clear I think to most people that you were expressing a bad day with two important issues that had overwhelmed you and had got on top of you.

I really hope your cat comes home, mine still hasn't. Haven't seen him since Friday but think every creak of the fence is him jumping over.

floweryblue · 07/06/2011 00:20

CRS you have posted about your lost cat, you are allowed to be as devastated as you feel. If anyone from this thread picks up on you seeming insensitive on another thread that's their Biscuit.

Joolyjoolyjoo · 07/06/2011 00:21

YANBU- I lost my mum and my cat (RTA Sad) the same year, and the cat was the last straw- it was awful.

but please don't give up hope- the fact that he is chipped is a huge advantage. I am a vet, and most people finding an animal will bring it in in case it has a chip. I had a couple bring me a cat they "adopted" (ie found!) several months before, and had kept- I found a chip on routine exam and protocol says the original owners MUST be informed. My own cat previously went missing for a week and turned up right as rain.

As well as vets, see if you can put up notices in local shops- that's how I found my lazy boy when he tried to follow me to work one morning, then couldn't be bothered going home! One of my friends recently lost a dog for almost a week, and he turned up, miles away, but was reunited with her thanks to his microchip. Fingers crossed for you

Original poster
CRS · 07/06/2011 00:23

To clarify: Losing my cat = a bit upsetting in the grand scheme of things. Losing a baby = AWFUL. I only put the two together as suffered both and thought the two together merited a bit of a scream. Sorry. Cat was icing on the awful cake, if you know what I mean. I think possibly that has not been well explained and made things sound worse. I'm trying, but very bad at expressing stuff. :(

OP posts:
floweryblue · 07/06/2011 00:26

Oh shit CRS, sounds like you are really going through the shit mill.

Original poster
CRS · 07/06/2011 00:27

Take me drunk i'm home - you said what I meant better than me!

OP posts:
TakeMeDrunkImHome · 07/06/2011 00:28

That rarely happens for me!

Original poster
CRS · 07/06/2011 00:35

I made a mistake posting that, but I was upset and got it wrong. regret. I honestly wasn't equating a lost cat with no baby, (just "Oh something else horrid has happened") but I can see I got it very wrong - it just seemed (cat plus period) last straw. Will be more careful in future. Sorry if i caused offence.

OP posts:
TakeMeDrunkImHome · 07/06/2011 00:37

You really really didn't! There are lots of professional take offencers (new words) here.

Original poster
CRS · 07/06/2011 00:40

Got quite a bad response, that thread, and I can see why - but I didn't mean it badly! Cx

OP posts:
TakeMeDrunkImHome · 07/06/2011 00:43

It only takes one PTO (see what I did there!) for the rest of the sheep to jump on. It was clear to anyone with a modicum of sense what you were trying to express so stop bloody apologising!

Original poster
CRS · 07/06/2011 00:45

Thanks! Going to bed feeling at least not SO bad! Cx

OP posts:
Original poster
CRS · 07/06/2011 00:46

(The x was instinctive. I call no one "hun". ;) )

OP posts:
TakeMeDrunkImHome · 07/06/2011 00:48

Awww masseev (((hugz))) to you babes xxxx

Grin

Keep us up to date with return of the kitty kat.

K9999 · 07/06/2011 00:50

Please stop worrying about inadvertantly offending, you didn't mean to and your upset is as valid as anyone's.

If it hasn't been advised already, on top of asking local vets to put posters up, also ask local businessses to put a poster on staff notice boards/in shop windows and put posters up near local schools. Kids are remarkably observant, they play out, notice and fuss cats, will be aware of the ones they've seen recently and will keep an eye out for you. Also contact local rescues, not just to ask if they have your cat but to get them to spread the word of your missing cat on their forums and amongst their local supporters. Approach dog rescues and animal sanctuaries as well as cat rescue, they are all animal lovers and will all have local contacts/friends who will want to help.

See if your Freecycle group will allow you to post a message on their email list and/or if they have a "cafe" chat group upon which you can post. Lastly, set up a Facebook account especially for the purpose and invite all your local friends to join and to share the page amongst other locals.

Good luck, I hope that you find him.