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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be questioning which life would be better for my kids

29 replies

whiteglovetest · 05/06/2011 17:16

Moving to Australia or staying here in Blighty (nw england). I used to think it was a given but now I have so much to consider. We have a home, kids go to a good school, we are ok financially. Of course its been nicer with the good weather and miserable in winter but this decision isnt as easy as I'd thought it would be.

Would value the views of anyone who has lived in both places or has moved (either way).
AIBU to be doubting?

OP posts:
OiYouThere · 05/06/2011 17:24

Well, I have moved the other way. Everyone over here asks me why I came over when the weather is so good over there. People can have, and not saying you do, very unrealistic expectations of living in OZ.

It isnt just about the weather.

It is about the support networks you may or may not have in either place. Your reasons for moving i.e. jobs.

In the tv shows they show sun filled beaches and people surfing and swimming 24/7. What people dont realise is that life is the same...just in better weather! You still have to clean, do the groceries, go to work. Any problems you may have in your relationship/life in general may be magnified by the lack of support network (if that is the case).

A lot of things are similar, but others are so so different, so prepare for a little bit of culture shock.

It also costs tens of thousands of pounds/dollars and there is the hassle of are you going to rent out your house/sell your house. You can have a get out clause with your partner that you can come back if one of you are really unhappy, but again, to do a full move in a short period of time is incredibly draining financially.

I could go on but I will stop here as I am preparing dinner. If you want to chat about it more, let me know and I will see if I can get back to the thread later on and answer any questions you may have.

BTW, having said all of that, I love living here in the UK as much as I did in Oz and do not regret for a minute that we made the move.

Original poster
whiteglovetest · 05/06/2011 17:26

I should mention I am from there also but have been here in UK a good 10 years

OP posts:
cat64 · 05/06/2011 17:32

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cat64 · 05/06/2011 17:32

This reply has been deleted

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PlanetEarth · 05/06/2011 17:33

Haven't done it myself, but I do know a couple of families who moved out to Australia and came back a year or so later. For one of them the "good weather" was one of the factors in wanting to return... turns out that 44C is not good weather after all, and is actually pretty unbearable!

Original poster
whiteglovetest · 05/06/2011 17:35

Sorry, it does seem silly for me to ask, given I am from there. Things change so much, so rapidly though and I wondered if anyone knew how life was like for children there now...better?

OP posts:
OiYouThere · 05/06/2011 17:35

Better than what? THan here? Than 10 years ao?

Original poster
whiteglovetest · 05/06/2011 17:38

The old adage is that its a better life for children in Australia. Does this apply and more so now? (given changes in property prices, cost of living, lifetsyle etc)

OP posts:
discobeaver · 05/06/2011 17:38

I think living in a different country is a great thing for most people, it just gives you a different perspective and a broader experience.
But there will always be things you dislike about anywhere, and it depends on your expectations and why you want to move.
I think it's dangerous to move thinking somewhere else wil be perfect, but overall I think kids would benefit from new horizons

Original poster
whiteglovetest · 05/06/2011 17:38

Than here sorry

OP posts:
OiYouThere · 05/06/2011 17:39

Sorry. Didnt mean that to sound so abrupt. AM popping back and forth!

Where are you thinking of moving to, what part?

Original poster
whiteglovetest · 05/06/2011 17:39

Queensland (SE)

OP posts:
swash · 05/06/2011 17:55

I think Australia is probably better because of the outdoor life. But the cultural side of life is much much better, and people are more open-minded. My friend has moved back to nz and she misses the uk massively... But her kids and dh love it.

swash · 05/06/2011 17:56

I meant cultural side is better here, and people here are more open-minded!

shirleyshortcut · 05/06/2011 17:57

what do the kids think

Original poster
whiteglovetest · 05/06/2011 17:58

They are too young to comment - 18 months and 6

OP posts:
shirleyshortcut · 05/06/2011 17:59

oh thought you said they went to good schools Confused

i would go, but then i think this country is on the skids anyway :)

ExpatAgain · 05/06/2011 18:00

factors to consider in my experience - age of kids , transferability of skills for both to be able to work in comparable roles and have right to work, cost of living, personality (how adaptable, sociable are you, how much getupand go?)lifestyle..heard Australia much more expensive than UK to live, can you afford it, realisitically?? really missing the UK right now

Original poster
whiteglovetest · 05/06/2011 18:02

Sorry, kid goes to a good school (was looking ahead at the second one going to same school) Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
whiteglovetest · 05/06/2011 18:03

expat I am australian so no problem for me. Its the truth about whether or not its still better for kids that Im worried about...exactly all the things you are saying re cost etc. Must do my homework I guess.

OP posts:
WearegoingonaKwazihunt · 05/06/2011 18:05

We could live either place (DH is Australian). I found it a hard place to live - but you are from there so presumably wouldn't.
Life over there is great, but it is very cut off from the rest of the world. That is ultimately what I found so hard to cope with.
People grow up happily and healthily in many different countries, towns, cities and villages. A happy childhood can happen anywhere as long as the parents are happy and settled and taking advantage of what their particular life has to offer.
Where would you be happier?

strandednomore · 05/06/2011 18:05

If you're happy here why change things? I speak from the experience of someone who moved back to the UK from the Caribbean last December and am sooooo much happier. Good weather doesn't a good life make.

Original poster
whiteglovetest · 05/06/2011 18:07

I would be happier there but the more I am here, the more I am starting to wonder if the old adage still applies. (re better for kids that is...they are the priority)

OP posts:
darleneoconnor · 05/06/2011 18:09

I'd worry about the risk of skin cancer and wouldn't want the kids outside in that heat very much.

I think it depends what kind of life you want for your dcs. ie do you value sports over the arts?

AngryFeet · 05/06/2011 18:11

I have thought about this a lot. I lived in Aus for a year and did love it and have thought a lot about moving there now I have children. The weather is nice and I like the outdoorsy lifestyle and how laid back the people are. But for me I think it has too many downsides for me to ever actually do it:-

  1. Being so far away from friends and family (until you have experienced this it is hard to understand how hard it is, it is also hard to make new friends the older you are so unless you are a very confident person who makes friends very easily you will find things tough for a while)

  2. Aus is so far behind in so many things and it is a bit of a shock. The big cities are not so bad but in the suburbs it is a big culture shock. Everything from the attitudes to the fashion seems to be stuck somewhere in the 80's. The internet is also way behind on what we have here which is something that you are so used to that it is a bit frustrating I think - but they are catching up

  3. If you like culture you will not find much of it even in the cities if you compare with places like London

  4. It is VERY expensive there now. A good friend of mine built a house in a lovely area North of Brisbane 4 years ago with 3 bedrooms and it is lovely but is now worth £750,000 which is about average. Food costs a lot. Clothes cost huge amounts and are mainly horrible IMO. Cost of living is really very high nowadays.

  5. I think there are quite a lot of problems with drugs and booze for teenagers there as they are bored so don't assume they will be ok just because you move over there. I also think there are less opportunities for them over there with regards to careers.

Now don't get me wrong I LOVE Aus but it is far from a perfect idyllic life so do not go into it with rose tinted specs as you will be disappointed.

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