Page 9 | aibu to ask what you really think of nurseries and their staff

peppapighastakenovermylife · 04/06/2011 21:58

ARGHHH

I dont think there are many nurseries where 9 babies sit around a table and all get fed at the same time!!

Usually lunch time say in the baby room at mine will be between 11 and 1 in little groups, depending on who is awake and hungry.

What do you think happens - they line up and get one spoonful at a time and if it runs out the last one doesnt get fed

Anyway - not many babies go for 50 hours a week under one year and certainly no babies go 24/7...

TattyDevine · 04/06/2011 21:59

Great when that funding kicks in eh?

peanutdream · 04/06/2011 22:00

DuellingFanjo, you must feel good about your DC going to their nursery otherwise surely you would find another one - its probably delightful isn't it?!

Bad ones: smelt of wee, lots of kids with raging nappy rash, kids not engaged, left to cry endlessly, broken safety gates, staff spending hours doing paperwork rather than playing with children, lying to parents 'oh he's had a great day', no hand washing, all children with colds constantly, no nose wiping, germs everywhere, toys dirty, staff attitude to children less than loving, fake or small outdoor space, babies with bottles propped up by pillows instead of being held

delightful ones: clean, fresh, staff dedicated, teamwork, lots of cuddles, story reading at any time, constant attention/supervision from staff even if just watching them learn or develop on their own, not as much paperwork (largely independent nurseries rather than chains), healthy food, nice outdoor space - actual grass for eg, some of the churchey ones were truly iddylic with oldy woldy staff who had worked there forever and new the whole family type thing... some had full on adventure playgrounds outside with playgrounds and trees and sandpits which were delightful, toys cleaned regularly, noses wiped, poos changed immediately

so lots of this you would probably be able to tell yourself but like i said, i got it wrong a few times old judgeypants over here...

smokeyandthebanjo · 04/06/2011 22:00

Tatty, do you KEEP missing the bit where I say I don't want to put a BABY in nursery? Because you are acting like you haven't read that, even though I've said it multiple times.

I can go into why, if you like. If you can't tell the difference between and 11mo and a nearly 3 year old (which is how old my children are). They are POLES apart. I was SHOCKED at how much DD1 developed and changed between the ages of 24mo and 2 and a half. So, so different. Yes, by three, I think she will (and probably does already) have the skills to cope with a group care environment. But even then she will only be going for a maximum of the 15 funded hours a week (probably less to begin with).

smokeyandthebanjo · 04/06/2011 22:01

Tattydevine, do you have ANY idea why places are funded for all children from three????

Any at all?

You don't think it's perhaps because that's the age when group care becomes beneficial to the child???

Jeez.

peppapighastakenovermylife · 04/06/2011 22:02

Yes it is strange how somehow this golden age coincides with free hours...

weloveguineapigs a gym creche? I wouldn't leave my 4 year old in a gym creche now yet my babies went to nursery from 6 months. A huge difference.

And why would they be lonely, sad or confused? They are with lovely caring, energetic carers who genuinely cant seem to put the babies down for cuddling them half the time!

Of course Smokey is allowed her opinions and her choices. It's just the generalisation and the founding of ideas on a setting she has little experience of.

peanutdream · 04/06/2011 22:03

I looked through the door and he was just sat alone on the floor crying while it all went on around him

I am such a softie that actually makes me shudder

Sirzy · 04/06/2011 22:03

peanut I would hope anyone with a child who sent them to a nursery like the first one you described would firstly remove them straight away and secondly report them to OfSted and anyone else who would listen!

smokeyandthebanjo · 04/06/2011 22:03

"Yes it is strange how somehow this golden age coincides with free hours..."

TattyDevine · 04/06/2011 22:04

Wow.

Why so reactionary?

pommedechocolat · 04/06/2011 22:04

Apologies for the £40k gaff - that's approx what I earn with dd in nursery two days a week.
There is a lot of guff on here from people who have never used nurseries though. Truly odd.
Also - I don't rely on studies to tell me what to do with my kid and when she will 'benefit from group care'. I decide myself in my function as her mother. I take responsibility for myself and my family. No half baked shit studies with conditions and disclaimers can replace that. i am not scared of making my own decisions. FUCK OFF to all that crap.

smokeyandthebanjo · 04/06/2011 22:04

Sorry, that's just the way I talk to people when they specatcularly miss the point tatty.

I do apologise

smokeyandthebanjo · 04/06/2011 22:05

That's nice pommefechocolat, good for you

EggyAllenPoe · 04/06/2011 22:05

if i could have sent DD to nursery at 8 months - she would have loved it!

she was that age when she first went to playgroup, and spent a happy two hours laughing non-stop just at the sight of other children (totally ignoring me!).

When she went aged 3 she had a ball. she would have benefitted much much sooner I feel though - it's just that's when it became free. There are so many things that have been better for her since she first went (particularly speech).

Our nursery is fantastic - they say they hate summer, as its the last term with the kids they love - and they do love them - playing everyday.

historically women have cared for large groups of children together - a good quality nursery setting resembles that sort of set-up in many ways.

peppapighastakenovermylife · 04/06/2011 22:05

Show me the evidence then Smokey?

A lot of the funding for 3 year old was based on ideas of school preparation, getting women back into work and essentially providing much needed care for disadvantaged children.

peppapighastakenovermylife · 04/06/2011 22:07

And I am not spectacularly missing the point

peanutdream · 04/06/2011 22:07

Sirzy I know! Couldn't believe it myself. But apart from the broken gates (that was one) the other things weren't that rare due to the nature of it, it seemed, particularly in chains where staff were under the cosh - paperwork often... all of the bad things happened in just a few, but some of the bad things happened in quite a lot. but as i said, some were lovely...

clemetteattlee · 04/06/2011 22:08

They are funded from two for some families of course. Must be that "group care" is more "beneficial" to the children of the "poor" much sooner.

reallytired · 04/06/2011 22:08

Oh boy! Some people on this thread really have ishoos!

We all have a right to our opinon. I believe that my daughter would have cried and found it hard to settle with a childminder. She took 6 weeks to settle at nursery. It is scary for a 9 month old baby to be left with a stranger.

Babies and small children can drive people to desperatation. It is harder to be tolerant of other people's children than your own. I prefer a nursery because I know that nursery nurse can hand a screaming baby to another person if it is really proving too much. I also think that my dd benefits from the fact that nusery nurses do get breaks.

smokeyandthebanjo · 04/06/2011 22:09

clemetteattlee Sat 04-Jun-11 22:08:06
They are funded from two for some families of course. Must be that "group care" is more "beneficial" to the children of the "poor" much sooner.

Yes, the theory behind that, AFAIK, is that some children are better off being looked after outside of the family.

Bit sad and classist that, but there you go.

pommedechocolat · 04/06/2011 22:09

Also in defence of school leavers at nurseries. A young girl who I guess to be no more than 20 at dd's nurseries is very much taken with her. She adores her and always wants to tell me some snippet of her day. I can tell that she would no more hurt dd than her own mother.

Also in defence of all sleeping together when dd was in the baby room on fridays it was all girls and apparently at nap time they would all clamber up to the cot rails and chat really enthusiastically at each other for 10 mins or so before dropping off one by one. Sounds horrific for them doesn't it.... SO terrible.

TattyDevine · 04/06/2011 22:09

I haven't missed the point really, Smokey, I do see where you are coming from.

I think Pommedchocolate summed it up well really when she said she knows when her child will benefit from group care. That's pretty much why I chose it from one year - it was simply the age that I felt they would like it and that it would provide a nice contrast to home life as opposed to emulating it, as I could have chosen a childminder, or continuing it, by say choosing a nanny.

They are all different. If your son isn't yet sitting at tables and joining in picnics etc then I can see that he probably wouldn't thrive so well in that group environment - some children just get there at a different time to others.

I guess it also depends whether you are looking for something "extra" for your child or whether you are having to factor in convenience and finances and other things if you are working.

Horses for courses.

smokeyandthebanjo · 04/06/2011 22:10

"Babies and small children can drive people to desperatation. It is harder to be tolerant of other people's children than your own. I prefer a nursery because I know that nursery nurse can hand a screaming baby to another person if it is really proving too much. I also think that my dd benefits from the fact that nusery nurses do get breaks."

Now THAT is a very valid point.

EggyAllenPoe · 04/06/2011 22:10

i will add my other babies also seemed to really get alot of having other children around from..well..from whatever age they were capable of looking at them!

i think all this 'Oliver James' anti-childcare sub 3 is ill founded pseudoscience BS of the worst order.

Weloveguineapigs · 04/06/2011 22:10

"a gym creche? I wouldn't leave my 4 year old in a gym creche now yet my babies went to nursery from 6 months. A huge difference."

Why not? What is the difference? My child was introduced to all the staff and surroundings beforehand etc, it was paid for childcare in a high profile gym in West London with fantastic facilities.

Losing patience with this really, all this wah wah, poor me, everyone slagging off my child care choices, trying to make me feel bad blah blah blah. Not trying to make anyone feel bad, I don't actually care what any of you do, I only care about what I do and how my children would deal with that kind of environment. If you are all so comfortable with your choices why do you care what anyone else thinks? I am regularly told by family members twats that my ds has ASD because I didn't send him to nursery, so wasn't socialised enough and you know what I really don't care apart from wanting to dish out a few bops on the nose to the more regular offenders. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, all that matters is what you think and what you feel is right for your child.