aibu to ask what you really think of nurseries and their staff

[questioningmouse]

honestly

The 2 childminers who collect kids from my dd's school both have a triple buggy with a few toddlers attached then collect the school kids. I know where i would rather have mine. In a well researched reputable nursery/preschool

Reactionary because you are making ridiculous assumptions.

I chose not to use a childminder because I didn't want my children being dragged around on errands, the school run, chucked in front of the TV and playing 2nd fiddle to the childminder's older children*

Disclaimer: I dont believe that's what all childminders are like, but its the flip side of the kind of generalisations you are making about nurseries.

What's with the school leaver stuff? My daughter's current key worker left school a good 10 years before me - possibly 15, though its hard to know sometimes

Reactionary, or just responding to a post that I believe is incorrect? Why respond to any post at all? Why go on Mumsnet just to lurk? People are "reacting" or in fact responding to you because you are saying some rather silly things about something you don't know all that much about.

I work 3 days a week. When my ds's were 'pre school age, on my home days I would serve lunch up to them together. It kind of helped, especially if it was a hot meal.

Thank you, wise MNers who have now clarified that I should, of course, served them lunch at separate times to 'prove' that I am attending to their individual needs . Actually, perhaps we should all eat separately, rather than as a family of four... Dearie me

"I love the idea that nurseries force all the babies to sleep at once"

Who said that then?

sirzy we manage to get them all to sleep because you see as thick school leavers (as has been said on the thread) we can sing like the sirens of the sea and everyone goes to sleep the sandman hasnt got anything on nursery workers

And my 11 month old can't sit at a table and just crawls off a picnic blanket. But if your nurseries are so inflexible they couldn't offer a highchair in that situation, then...

nursery for all mine
reputable and with excellent ofsted report
staff motivated and interested low staff turnover
booked place at 12wk pg

They could offer a booster seat if the child crawled off but I'd imagine if the child wasn't hungry and wanted to play, that would also be okay - they could have their lunch when they were a little more hungry

That's nice tatty

Highchair/booster. Big distinction

i have worked in many nurseries.
a few were utterly delightful.
a few were truly hideous (often chains - some in very posh areas with very posh parents)
most were okish/in between those two extremes on a spectrum (as you would expect).

over 3s do well - exciting, stimulating - if the staff are good that is

having worked in them, i would want to work in one before i put my children in one as its not always apparent what really goes on which is pretty sad for those babies/toddlers. equally, as someone who worked in many, it was easy to judge and then think, actually, this is a nice place. but obviously this is impossible.

one of the main things is that for babies/young toddlers, 9-5 or sometimes 8-6 is far too long. it was a very long day for lots of them. the odd one coped perfectly fine obviously, but sometimes it was very sad.

You seem to want it both ways, Smokey.

There is a fairly big distinction between the scenario you painted of babies lined up in a row of highchairs next to each others and babies sitting around a table facing each other "family style" like our nursery does.

You then say that your 11 month old can't sit at a table - and that our nursery is inflexible for not being able to offer a highchair.

But for children who for whatever reason (?!) can't sit at a table, they could offer a booster (i.e a little seat insert with a harness).

But if the child is hungry and wants to eat, they probably wouldn't need to, because it is a self-motivated behaviour really, isn't it?

Smokey - I have re read your post. It has a typo in it.

You said 'to be bed at the same time'

But in hindsight I think you meant to be 'fed at the same time'...

I don't want it both ways. I'm really happy looking after my 11 month old at home myself.

Lined up in highchairs/round a table 'family style' they're still a bunch of babies, not a family. Nothing close to it.

People are getting really het up about me saying nursery is an institution for babies. BUt it is is - nine babies sat around a table. That's not natural or normal at all. It sounds like a boarding school or an orphanage. Yeuch.

Yy peppa, that was a typo and should have said to be fed, apols.

essentially we all chose what we believe to be right thing
so naturally i endorse nursery,works for us.allows me work ft
we all happy

but equally some dont fancy nursery at all.and fair enough

Are people on this thread really enjoying making people like me feel shit about their choice of childcare? What horrible thing to do

"I don't want it both ways. I'm really happy looking after my 11 month old at home myself"

Then why do you use a childminder?

I don't use a chidminder, I haven't used one for a year, which is when I gave up work.

My DD2 (11mo) has never been in childcare. My DD1 went to a c/m for 15 hours a week for 9mo from the age of 13mo when I went back to work. Then I gave up work.

Dueling - who is enjoying making anyone feel shit? The thread asks what people really think of nurseries. I've never offered this opinion before. Neither here or in RL, but I'm offering it now, because it's been asked. Perhaps the question should be, "if some anonymous nobodies opinion on nurseries is really going to make you feel shit should you be reading the thread in the first place?"

In nursery DS also gets to do a lot he doesn't do at home. They do messy play on a much bigger scale than I can/will do at home. He gets lots of interaction with other children while he is there which as an only child he doesn't get at home.

i wouldn't waver from nursery endorsement based on some posts
anecdotes and words on a screen inst necessarily factual and certainly not enough to guilt me out.no siree
trust your own judgement and practise your best response to the face when nursery use comes up

Scottishmummy is absolutely right. If nursery feels right for you, then go for it. I'm only saying how I feel, it's not the law.

So Smokey does your DD1 go to preschool or is that too "institutionalised"?

Are you going to homeschool?

Or is it suddenly okay when they are 3?

I do feel that a lot of you are exaggerating smokeys posts and I don't actually think she is over generalising about nursery care or that she is "wrong" as a couple of you have said. She has stated repeatedly that this is her opinion and she is certainly entitled to have it. Fundamentally the idea of my children being in that kind of setting makes me feel sad, the thought of them being lonely or dad and confused and not understanding why I am not there. Perhaps that is more about how I feel than they feel but I didn't want it for them.

I left ds in a gym creche once, when he was about 18 months old, but went back and checked on him after ten minutes. I looked through the door and he was just sat alone on the floor crying while it all went on around him. No one was trying to engage with him and I went in and sat down with him, he stood up and put his arms round me really tightly and wouldnt let me go. I couldn't leave him again so didn't, except with family members, until he went to pre school. Now I know that not all nurseries are going to be like that, but it is not what I want for my dc, I don't have positive feelings about them. It just does not feel right to me.

"Or is it suddenly okay when they are 3?"

In a nutshell, yes.