aibu to ask what you really think of nurseries and their staff

[questioningmouse]

honestly

All 'targetted activities' means is that they buy a few new bits for the home corner for those who love that and put aprons on those who love nothing more than getting knee deep in glitter.

It's other wise known as providing activities that each child is interested in, which is hard to argue with, really.

Sorry, I know that it means more than that in terms of the EYFS; my point was that it's common sense within a framework not cramming for Oxbridge.

Smokey, do childminders not sit their charges round the table and feed them all at the same time, then? Do they escort them out to the kitchen one at a time so as not to "institutionalise" them? Presumably then they are either not supervising the child eating or they are not supervising the rest of their charges.

How strange. Why do they do it that way?

Our local childminder pushes the baby in her care screaming in the pushchair, with a toddler frequently crying on the buggy board down to collect the three school age children at 3.30. I wouldn't dream of assuming that this is the WAY that all childminders operated...

With the greatest of respect, I'm not interested in how you feel about your babies going to nursery, I'm only interested in what I would and would not be happy for my baby to do.

And being in a room full of other babies, no, I wouldn't be happy with that. I chose a childminder who had two other charges (her children were at school and I worked term time only 10-3). That, to me, was perfectly reflective of how a home environment could be. My DD could easily be the youngest of three children. How could she be the eighth of ninth babies with three mothers? Mad.

And my mum, on the rare occasions she has had my children, just puts CBeebies on really loud and feeds them chocolate all day. Again, I wouldn't assume that this was the way ALL grandparents provided childcare...

Smokey, have you considered how the majority of babies in the world are brought up ... Ie collectively

But smokey you posted some pretty big assumptions about nurseries so of course people are going to react to that and post to show how wrong you are.

I could rant about how bad childminders are after some of the things i have seen with local childminders (child running around soft play with a pooy nappy for 30 mins at least while 2 childminders enjoyed there coffee - they realised when it was time to go and said "we will change it at home!) but I wouldn't - its a one off and you can't judge all by the same standards as the bad places.

Collectively by extended family members or close neighbours maybe. Not by school leavers who don't actually know the family.

okay so with smokeyandthebanjo obviously on crack time to listen to any sensiable views on nursery care and i agree its not everyones cup of tea but to say it requires no skill or institutionalizes children or that activites to aid babies development are wrong means these posters are on some kind of medication or are a few cards short of a full deck

Oh, believe me, I don't think childminders are perfect either.

I taught the school leavers who care for my children. I also taught DD's teacher...
But their primary carers at nursery are women in their 30s and 40s who have dedicated their lives to for children.

I am not trying to "convert" you to nursery, just pointing out that your assumptions are inaccurate.

I know my nursery workers fairly well (perhaps too well...I can see the FB photos of the nights out )

Why are you on this thread then if you are not interested?

And I was taking you seriously until your suggestion that babies viewed nursery careworkers as their mothers

My assumptions are inaccurate? Don't be ridiculous, do you think the majority of the school leavers who care for parents babies have been taught by them? Of course not. That applies in your case, but rarely any others.

Peppapig I didn't say that babies view nursery careworkers as their mothers. What I said, was that a childminder comes close to replicating a home environment in that there is one carer caring for a range of children. I DON'T belive that a baby room with 9 babies and 3 carers replicates that in any way.

DS nursery is nicely situated, they go for walks in the park or to the beach, which DS loves, also there is a nice area outside with trikes and balls etc. They all eat at a set time, which tbh is fair as sometimes there are 9 children there and they serve a hot meal lunchtime so easier to have set mealtime, naps are taken whenever and wherever the child wants, they do lots of reading, playing with paint, water, glitter... At the moment in the baby room there is only one baby under the age of 1, the others are 1.5 to nearly 2, but when there are more under 1s they suit the activities to the ages.

I try not to think to much about the pros and cons as I dont have any choice in the 'to send or not to send' matter, I need to help towards the mortgage etc so I have to work. DS has been there 8.40 - 5, 4 days a week for over a year now, fairly large holidays in between as I work term time, he started when he was 8.5m and is now 21m. Sometimes he is shattered and grumpy,sometimes he doesn't want to go home...swings and roundabouts as they say!

Yes, you are making some strange assumptions - its nothing to do with the way others feel about their children going to nursery, its to do with you making incorrect assumptions.

My daughter eats her meal around a little table and chairs with 3 other children. There are no highchairs. There are 2 adults. Apart from the age gap between them, it would like being in a family of 4 children and 2 adults.

Not all nurseries are like this but its not massively different to the childminder scenario you describe.

I do get what you are saying - you prefer something that emulates a child going about in their local community with their adult carers.

The assumption that nurseries are staffed only by school leavers is inaccurate.
The assumption that all babies in nurseries sleep/eat at the same time is inaccurate.
The assumption that ALL nurseries have lots of babies and impose an institutionalised regime is inaccurate.

Talk about what is best for YOUR child as that is all you can know. And accept that the nursery your have seen is not representative of the carefully chosen, small scale, family run, loving and nurturing environments that many of us have been lucky enough to choose.

Tattydevine - YOU are making assumptions. I have SPECIFICALLY said that I was talking about BABIES in nurseries. Is your DD a baby? I assume NOT if she can sit on a chair round a baby.

I DID qualify my comment by asking people to note that I wasn't talking about babies.

Why so reactionary?

on a chair around a table !

And also be thankful for your choice to be able to do what clearly you think is best

But your assumptions about the baby care are wrong / over generalised too

God, I DID qualify my comment by asking people to note that I was talking about babies.

DS has been sitting on a chair around a table at nursery since he was about 12 months, the staff sit with them and he always eats well.

I love the idea that nurseries force all the babies to sleep at once - how are they supposed to manage that? I have enough trouble to get one baby to sleep when he is ready for a nap let alone making a room full sleep when they don't want to!

Yep, babies can sit on chairs at a table, or they can have their lunch on a picnic blanket in the park next to the nursery (hurray for baby led weaning...)