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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Why is everyone so mean on mumsnet?

438 replies

Orchidskeepdying · 04/06/2011 10:02

New poster - been lurking for a few weeks. What I've noticed is that everyone is so mean. Parents/women/people come here for advice and they are torn to pieces or spelling critisied.

I feel that you all can be a little bit nicer to each other. People sometimes post to get a different opinion, but we can be nice about how we say things!

Anyway, thanks for listening - i bet someone will say something mean!

OP posts:
FowlLanguage · 04/06/2011 17:01

Martin Fowler?

diabolo · 04/06/2011 17:04

Agree with MrsCampbellBlack - there are some posters who's replies to OP's are designed to deliberately upset, so much so that I can't believe it is their actual opinion, just one designed to make someone else feel small.

There was one the other day where someone asked for advice about their "LO" - the first 10 or so replies just took the piss out of the OP for calling her child "Little One" - there's nothing constructive or helpful about that - it's just nasty.

katvond · 04/06/2011 17:04

Well there's making a point which is fine but being downright nasty I don't agree with, I'll say what I have to say, on one thread yesterday someone really wanted a row, I said back I wont rise to bait. When I said that the person said it was because I was too stupid to, I just replied " I love you too mwah "

ScousyFogarty · 04/06/2011 17:06

Katvond you paint a cruel nasty picure of yourself; doubt if you are not nasty or very wise or clever, NWellothing wrong with decent civilised manneres. The poster of this opening thread had noticed a crude unconsiderate treait in A MINORITY of posters. Not more than 15 percent. Its pub talk posting. In the pub they may at least be half drunk. So lets play sober on mumsnet.

RockStockandTwoOpenBottles · 04/06/2011 17:06

BIA and I continue to agree with you Grin.

MrsCB it's not all straight talking bollocks - if someone is behaving like a total tosser, and there are several, hourly daily, then they should expect people to either pull them up on something, especially in AIBU.

katvond · 04/06/2011 17:07

An OP must also be able to take criticism too.

katvond · 04/06/2011 17:09

How's that scousy? Cause I'm honest? Have I offended you? Nope
Now get back to your petition my dear about the TV licence fee ;)

PinotGrigiosKittens · 04/06/2011 17:10

I was shocked once on MN when a poster who is normally all fluffy bunnies and feathery strokey started on about deep throat blowjobs. Well, it's always the boring quiet ones as they say Shock Seriously thought she'd be a knitter not a knobber.

As you were.

RockStock is it wine o'clock in the sunny costa?

CoteDAzur · 04/06/2011 17:10

Grin @ "you make me cross"

FowlLanguage · 04/06/2011 17:10

Katvond you thought it was a row, maybe the other poster just wanted a discussion. You had one opinion, they had another, what is wrong with conversing about it? surely you dont go through life 'saying what you have to say' and then being done with it? Not listening to other peoples points of view? I can imagine you being very thickheaded in RL. And no, I dont mean stupid.

MrsCampbellBlack · 04/06/2011 17:11

Well yes of course in AIBU the OP should be able to see that not everyone will agree with them.

But you know I just don't see the point of being nasty really but then I tend to operate on here the same way I do in real life.

BornInAfrica · 04/06/2011 17:12

Scousy Gabby - you mind your own huh? Back to campaigning against the Tories. Oh, before you go - best you check your cupboards and under the bed tonight - I know for a fact that there are Conservatives hiding in your room just waiting to paint you blue in the night!

MrsCampbellBlack · 04/06/2011 17:13

Oh and I do say if I think someone is being nasty - was a thread a while back which talked about stuff which was really horrid and thankfully it was pulled.

Perhaps thats why some people think there is no nastiness - because the really awful stuff gets deleted/whole threads pulled.

Glitterknickaz · 04/06/2011 17:13

On the whole it's not a bad site.
The only thing that REALLY bugs me is on AIBU where people are deliberately disablist and provocative towards posters who either have disabilities or have people with disabilities in their families.

Too many people here condone that kind of attitude and MNHQ don't deal with it.

Other topics, eg sexism, racism... they get challenged but not this.

Other than that it's not too bad.

ScousyFogarty · 04/06/2011 17:14

the original poster asked a generalised question. I gave that answere. About 15 per cent here have no real debating manners. so they sink to one line insults. Its more pub than mumsnet in my opinion. Its not especially rational Its sort of making an impression by being OTT...like a naughty child may swear or misbehave

CoteDAzur · 04/06/2011 17:14

I'm with BornInAfrica on this.

And ROFL @ "fluffy cunting bunny rabbits"

This is the inimitable tone of MN. Those who can't handle it should fluff off to choose BabyCentre, NetMums and the like.

worraliberty · 04/06/2011 17:16

Do people really have personal grudges against others on here just because they feel the advice given to them wasn't fluffy enough?

I mean, I tend to vehemently disagree with someone on one thread and then totally agree with them on another...it just depends on the subject.

I never remember nicknames anyway, so I have no clue who might/might not be upset at my style of posting.

Even the keyboard martyr up there who jumped on my first post...I have no idea who she is Lol.

katvond · 04/06/2011 17:18

No Fowl they were rather rude, if someone behaves like that it's best to ignore them. I'm not a push over mind but don't want to get into spats with strangers, it goes on and on and no fucker backs down.

katvond · 04/06/2011 17:21

Fowl I am rather thick skinned at times, insults I can easily take.
Don't worry I say my peace are argue if it's wrong or the OP is an ass, but when someone on here keeps attacking me I just let them carry on, they show themselves for what they are, fucking twats.

MollyMurphy · 04/06/2011 17:21

Having spent lots of time on another forum where everyone has to have a group hug every few minutes - I LOVE that people on mumsnet can say what they actually mean and I can say what I mean right back.

Gooseberrybushes · 04/06/2011 17:22

"I love worra and SGB and all the other straight talking so called meanies and prefer them any single day over the whiny 'I'm sooooooo lovely' 'awwwwww hunni' 'omg you're all so nasty to me' whingers who assume that because someone can speak plainly without recourse to bullshit that they must be drunk. And if all that fails they can press the report button. There are two serial reporters just on this thread > Be gone with you fluffbunnies - go defend some stupid people somewhere else!"

this is just such uber twat wankery

get me i can swear

Gooseberrybushes · 04/06/2011 17:23

"keyboard martyr"? is that me?

do you know what a martyr is? i think not

katvond · 04/06/2011 17:23

And fowl you got me all wrong what I meant to say the ruder and fowler someone is the better :) not Martin fowler.
I blame the sun

fluffybutt · 04/06/2011 17:24

I love the mumsnet police, the ones who get annoyed because the subject has been discussed before, or take objection that you have posted in AIBU. Apparently thats just lazy and you should always search Mumsnet history to see if it been discussed before. If you find the thread boring, don't read it, no need to leave nasty comments. Seems quite simple to me.

worraliberty · 04/06/2011 17:25

Yeah it is you. I have no idea who you are but you seem to be posting your fair share of twattery whilst complaining about others.

You couldn't make it up Lol.....

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