to be mad that a complete stranger just opened my front door?

[Truffleshuffler]

Was sitting in my living room this evening with DS (22 months) asleep on my lap when I hear a knock at the door. Dogs start quietly barking and I start panicking. Should I open the door holding sleeping child? Should I run upstairs and put him in bed and then go to door? All the while dogs are getting louder impatient. Am worrying that dogs will wake up DS. DH is out.
I take DS upstairs and mystery caller decided to ring doorbell. At this action dogs in their excitement manage to escape from kitchen and stand at front door. Hurry downstairs to see the front door being opened by complete stranger to be met with my 2 barking dogs so he quickly closed it. I get to the front door and see man walking away.
He tells me that he is a friend of PIL and is here on business and called to visit my DH.
AIBU to expect:

1. Visitors to phone first
2. Strangers not to open my front door

The postman has just knocked, opened the door, called out and left a parcel!

Should I call the police?

Ah hahaha! :)

It all depends what you're used to. Where I live, people just don't waltz into other people's homes. We just don't. But if round your area that's how it goes, well, that's how it goes.

Maybe it's because we're miserable Essex bastards :o

God, I am horrified. What kind of a nutter would just walk into the house of someone the didn't know - had never even met before? How would that ever be OK?

No probs if it's your neighbour / postie, etc and you are in the habit of doing that.

Or maybe I've lived in London too long?

My door is a knock,walk in and shout type door to friends ,neighbours and family

Or I would be up and down all the bloody time to DSs mates

I always answer the phone too

lol at ppl not answering the phone only people i like have the house phone number well the MIL has it but she has her own ring so i can ignore her when im in the mood lol :D the OH's friends have it but only the ones i like the rest can get him on his moby if their desperate but really i get everyone on fb i dont remember where my moby is iv not seen it for about a week and the house phone dies on a regular basis as i dont charge it lol

People tend to just walk into our house as well which has been quite embarrassing on a few occasions.
There is an inner small hall and they come in and holler then walk into the main hall. I wondered if it was a farmhouse thing and people seem to think it is acceptable but I would not dream of doing this to anyone.

YANBU

However in some places, especially amongst older people, this seems to be the norm. Staying at my FIL's I have found people just walk in to the kitchen and he sees that as normal - although he wouldn't expect them to go any further.

The postman for example every morning opens the unlocked door and leaves the post in the kitchen. If he has anybody phone (that he knows) because they want to buy eggs, if he is not going to be around when they will collect them, he will leave the eggs on the kitchen table and tell them to leave the money there.

FIL actually has to hunt round for a key if he is locking up as he only does so if he is going out for the day. He has never been burgled either.

So people do have different views of this kind of thing.

Gentle Otter - Yes I think it is a farm house thing. FIL is a farmer.

Gentle Otter - My FIL did once refer to some new people who had moved in as townies because they had made it known that they did not want people just walking into their house. He didn't say this in a nasty way - just a bemused way.

YABU. Why on earth would anyone phone before they visit - that's what the doorbell is for.

Where I come from it's also perfectly normal to open the door, poke your head around and shout if no one answers the door - quite often if the owner's at the other end of the house, they may not have heard the knocker/bell. If they weren't in the door would probably be locked.

Can't imagine locking the door if I was inside. Could see that might not be so feasible if you live in the Bronx though.

Yes, lesley33, I have seen my dh do this at other farms but never anywhere else.
It is easier now the dog likes sleeping in the front hall.

I live in East London and just can't belive that anyone leaves their door unlocked so that someone can walk in. We keep the chain on the door all the time and open it like that too.

I'm just imagining what it would be like to live in a place where you can leave it open. It's a lovely thought.......

It's knock-and-enter land here too. Infact, at my sister's house all ger friends know where the spare key is. SHe came home the other day to find a friend in the living room watching tv with a cuppa as there were issues with power at her house in the next village!
In the OP's case, though, it was unreasonable of the man to open the door: he wasn't a personal friend of the owner, or a regular caller. It wasn't unreasonable of her to be upset. Expecting people to phone before they call in is just odd though.

YANBU, my parents' front door doesn't lock if they're in, and nobody just walks in.

Seeker your tone seems as if you are trying to make people feel stupid for minding about a stranger walking into their house unannounced.

whenever I go burgling, I like to drive to an area where people leave their doors unlocked.

It makes my job so much easier

I suppose it's where you live really.
I live in a tiny village with no crime rate, everybody round here just opens the door and calls. Wouldn't dream of it in a city.
With the phone, I know I can monitor it with 1471 or answer machine, so if I'm not in the mood I do ignore it, and will call back if I feel like it.

What breed of dogs do you have? I would like some who can bark quietly.

Border Terriers. I would like it if they didn't bark at all.
Where I am the postman and couriers often just open your door and put parcels in. Quite handy if you're at the loo or on top floor of house etc. They don't actually come in, just stick their hand in. I think the post man started doing this all the time with me after I answered the door a couple of times while breast-feeding and was showing a bit of boob
I have to have door locked when DS is awake now as he can open it.

Piglet - As I said my FIL practically never locks his door - either when he has just popped out or even at night when he goes to bed. He has never been burgled.

I have friends who live in Cities, have lots of locks, always lock the door and have been burgled a number of times.

Unless you are talking about professional burglars who steal valuable paintings, furniture, etc, most burglars steal fairly close to where they live. So if you do not have anything hugely valuable and live somewhere where there is no real criminal fraternity, then your chance of being burgled can be very small.

"your chance of being burgled can be very small."

yep, keep telling yourself that.

I agree Lesley. I was burgled when I lived in the city even though the flat was locked.
There is crime where I live but burglary is very rare.

Hmmph. We didn't used to lock our door, as pulling up the handle would slide the inner bolts across (D/G door) and it couldn't be opened from the outside just by pulling down the handle from that side.

Then we got burgled. They came in at 5am while we were upstairs asleep. We don't have anything "hugely valuable" but they still took £2k+ worth of stuff and the attendant hassle (car keys, passports, cards, travelcards, chequebooks, phones, ipods) is still ongoing 3 months later. The police reckon that even a door like ours isn't secure if it isn't physically locked with a key.

Now the door gets locked. I don't like living like that, but neither do I want to be confronted by a burglar when I'm on my own/with DD in the house.

OP: YANBU to be upset that someone you didn't know just opened your front door. Maybe he saw lights on or saw you pop upstairs, maybe he was worried or maybe he comes from a knock-and-enter area, but even so it would be a poor judgement on his part.

I'm not so sure about the "phoning before calling round" though. I would say that if you're going to visit unexpectedly, be prepared for the visitee to be out/busy/masturbating, and politely go away again.

I'm bemused by the tone of some of the posts above though, the ones along the lines of "I thought everyone sealed their triple-deadlocked reinforced steel door before retreating into their panic room and only answering the phone if the caller's identity has been verified by the queen and the pope." I'm assuming it's basically a rural/city divide, with some family attitudes mixed in, and of course those who have had a bad experience would naturally be more cautious.

Our front door isn't locked unless we're going up to bed, or leaving the house unoccupied. Friends and family knock-and-enter, although I suspect my ex will be more hesitant since he and his wife were dropping DS1 off and wandered in whilst I was in the downstairs shower. "EEEK! Be with you in a moment. DS1, could you please close the bathroom door for Mummy and make everyone a cup of tea." I've never rinsed-and-dried so fast in my life.

I knock on doors for a living (I knock firmly, twice, then walk away). I'd never dream of trying the handle unless I was concerned for someone's welfare.

(If you're going to hide behind the sofa that's fine, but please don't let your toddler stick their fingers through the letterbox at me. It puts me in a very difficult position.)