to be mad that a complete stranger just opened my front door?

[Truffleshuffler]

Was sitting in my living room this evening with DS (22 months) asleep on my lap when I hear a knock at the door. Dogs start quietly barking and I start panicking. Should I open the door holding sleeping child? Should I run upstairs and put him in bed and then go to door? All the while dogs are getting louder impatient. Am worrying that dogs will wake up DS. DH is out.
I take DS upstairs and mystery caller decided to ring doorbell. At this action dogs in their excitement manage to escape from kitchen and stand at front door. Hurry downstairs to see the front door being opened by complete stranger to be met with my 2 barking dogs so he quickly closed it. I get to the front door and see man walking away.
He tells me that he is a friend of PIL and is here on business and called to visit my DH.
AIBU to expect:

1. Visitors to phone first
   
2. Strangers not to open my front door

[HystericalMe]

YANBU!
When I was younger a an older male neighbour knocked on the door, I'd been upstairs having a shower and so was pulling on Tshirt and jeans and running downstairs but didn't get there in time.

When I got to the kitchen, he'd already come in the side door and into the kitchen! (He definitely had poor social skills, was a bit of a local wierdo)

I was young, and in an isolated house in the country. My parents had left the door open and gone for a walk. It did scare me although he just left a message for my Dad and I made it clear he'd have to leave.

My parents let him know later that they don't think you walk into a house without someone opening the door for you.

I'd start ringing the person on my mobile if they didn't answer the door, or send them a text to say I'd called round, wouldn't start trying to get in uninvited!!!

[Lunabelly]

Seeker - you mean The Phantom Door Knocker of Old London Town isn't you??? OMG...

Oh, my 'pet' KnockWithoutPriorCalling-ers are of the stay-for-hours-and-just-not-get-the-busy-hints type - which, combined with my 'issues'...
I love them dearly. But not for 4 or 5 hours at a time. And the first few hours of that will be me fidgeting and mumbling because I wasn't in the right frame. And they know that I'm too polite to say "Look, could ye just feck aff now please, I've got things to do".

(IRL I am dreadfully shy and polite.)

Also, the local kids are constantly knocking for my DCs which in one way is nice, but in another way is fecking annoying because it really is constant.

All that combined with the stalking PsychoKnickers episode...I really truly promise that wiring up the knocker to emit a mild shock has never once entered my head. At all. I've also never yelled at the door "NO!"

[seeker]

Maybe I'm just a very polite knocker!

[Gooseberrybushes]

actually you started with the making fun and trying to make people feel small and stupid when there was no sense of outrage about door knocking and no one saying it was rude to knock without phoning beforehand

lunabelly said what she liked but she accepted she was unusual, she doesn't try to make people feel stupid for being different

I just don't think there's any need for that

[zelda1982]

If my friends/family are expected, they give a quick knock and come in. If they are not expected (ie came around uninvited) then they knock and wait. With the exception of my brother who will just barge in.
Once i didnt get to the door quick enough for the postman who had a package and just as i was about to open the door he opened it himself and was going to drop the package in. TBH i was a bit shocked but then thought it was quite nice actually as it would of saved me from having to get it re-delivered or picking it up from PO.

[seeker]

"actually you started with the making fun and trying to make people feel small and stupid when there was no sense of outrage about door knocking and no one saying it was rude to knock without phoning beforehand"

Did I? I don;t think I did, actually.

[Gooseberrybushes]

I'm sure you don't, but you did.

[seeker]

Where?

[SpringchickenGoldBrass]

I don't answer my door at times ie when I think that a caller is likeley to be a debt collector or a crap-peddler - or if I just don't want to answer the door. I very rarely answer the house phone unless I am expecting a call, because everyone who matters has got my mobile number and my emal addresses and (again) unexpected callers are often debt collecters or recordings trying to flog me life insurance, so I really CBA.
But I think how people feel about this is up to them and clearly a cultural/locality thing - if you are used to everyone popping in and out of each other's houses you will be comfortable with it, if you are used to a neighbourhood where people keep the doors locked, and most of your friends/family live at a distance, then that's what you'll be comfortable with.
Either way, if you move somewhere the opposite model is more usual, you will be uncomfortable and make other people uncomfortable for a while, either by barging in and horrifying them, or by coming across as suspicious an hostile. Though if adjustments have to be made, I'm on the side of the ones who prefer callers to knock and ait, or ring first - forcing more contact on people than they are comfortable with is always wrong, everyone has the right to refuse to interact with others.

[MikeStand]

My parents found a stranger in their hall. My dad had just come in and taken his sports gear into bedroom so had forgotten to lock the door. On his way back through hall found a man who "appeared drunk and confused" - no doorbell or knock at door. My dad shooed him out. When my parents recounted this to me I was surprised they had not thought it strange. After some persuasion they contacted the police and it turns out there had been six similar burglaries in the last two days where small items you might dump on a hall table had been stolen ie. Car keys, iPods, laptops etc. The sort of thing you pop down when you come in the house. They were told by the police that a gang will descend on an area and try doors just on the off chance.

If your DH or PIL don't know who Brian is you might want to give them a call.

[Gooseberrybushes]

Taking the piss, calling people stupid etc. I already read back once so you do it.

[AgentZigzag]

I like SGBs post because it sums up the choice I have for contact or no contact with someone.

It's not that I think people who phone/call etc are rude, that would be ridiculous, it's that I don't like people saying I'm odd because I make a choice to not answer.

Odd is the bloke down our street who's back garden's full of a toy train line, I'm not odd because I've got a good reason not to answer any communications.

What if someone had been attacked in their house, would that be good enough reason to choose not to answer the door? Or if they'd been stalked, is that understandable for them not to answer the phone?

Just because you don't know the reasoning behind the choice Seeker, doesn't mean anyone's stupid/odd/freakish.

[SpringchickenGoldBrass]

Oi, there's nothing wrong with having a toy train in the back garden. My DS would want to move in with your neighbour!

[AgentZigzag]

Hehe SGB, he's a very strange bloke all round, for some reason our dog, who's a bit too happy to see every other member of the human race, has always gone ferociously bonkers when she even hears his voice.

I trust her judgement implicitly