to suggest that my sister could cover boobs with a scarf....

[chocolatehobnobs]

Sister has 2 DC 2 and 5 months. I am pg. She reckons she is the world expert on child rearing, never afraid to comment on other's parenting. We went for lunch at the weekend at Wagamama's. Staff were lovely and helpful offered highchair etc sis was vocally demanding a certain table and being a bit precious IMO. We were sitting next to 6 young guys (same table) Sis whips boob out and BF baby. I (and our neigbours who were eating) could see boob, dripping nipple. When she announced loudly that baby had bitten nipple I offered to pass her a scarf to save the boys blushes. She refused and said she was often complimented on being a good role model for BF. AIBU to want to do things differently or is she right?

Love these threads, they always go so well.

I am an indiscreet breastfeeder. I would rather risk offending delicate sensibilities than restrict my baby's access to food and comfort.

I started off with those little peephole top things but lord, what a faff. I have possibly gone too far in the other direction though...dh did have to tuck me in the other day and a random man got an eyeful. FWIW he didn't look horrified.

did i say breasts are for sex?????????? arrrrgh why do you lot keep saying that.

do what you want but i choose not to!!!!!!!! said that but still not satisfied cant win!!

I just dont understand why some people make it its impossible to breastfeed discreetly??...

Well direct your venting there then.

Don't direct it at mothers who may well be struggling to BF.

YOU feel uncomfortable. That's YOUR problem. Be an adult and deal with it.

Don't come onto a parenting forum where mothers who might read your rantings might feel even worse about their one venture out of the house for ages. After worrying for so long about BF in public they finally get 'brave' enough to do so.

And then they read your inane posts and then wonder whether to give up as it's not viable to feed in public because of people like you

Your problem. You deal with it. Quietly.

i didn''t say sex teeny. i said private. you said sex.

I'm getting dizzy here from going round in circles.

Why does anyone have to feed discreetly?

And what if you have a baby who doesn't know the meaning of the word?

nobody said it's impossible teeny.

Teeny - nobody's saying you can't or shouldn't feel uncomfortable - they're your feelings and they're valid. But they're your feelings and therefore your problem. Not the problem of the woman feeding her baby who is doing nothing wrong. Can't you understand that?

And people aren't 'making it impossible to breastfeed discretely'. They're just saying it's often much easier and less faff to sometimes be a bit indiscreet, and that is their right.

Just because you want to b/feed indiscreetly doesn't mean everyone else should make every effort above all else to be discreet.

As I said earlier, when you're a seasoned breastfeeder and it's as mundane and every day to you as wiping down the kitchen sink, you forget other people can be so offended by it, and aren't always very discreet.

Ad finally...!! you keep contradicting yourself! On the one hand saying 'do what you want, what do I care?' and then in the same post often enough, 'I just think people should feed discreetly'.

You don't want people to do what they want or you wouldn't keep coming back to the thread to bang on about being discreet.

teenytiny Your attitude is exactly the sort of attitude I was so terrified of encountering that I stopped BF. God forbid I would have managed to hold my screaming DD, pulled up my top and flashed my horrendously flabby, stretch marked post partum stomach to the world and then struggled to get DD on, all the while burning with embarrasment that my hungry baby was disrupting people going about their business and that they might become terribly offended if I flashed some nipple at them.

Even better - throw a scarf over the top, something for DD to get caught in whilst she wriggles about and for me to get tangled in whilst I was panicking to get my boob out discreetly and DD latched on.

Utter crap. Bully for you being able to BF discreetly. For some of us it was a bloody struggle managing to BF AT ALL, never mind without someone seeing boob being used for what it was meant for.

I'm really angry now - at myself, for letting the views of people like you stop me doing something that despite everything, was one of the loveliest things I have ever done.

I hate this idea that breasts are there to feed babies.

Yes, that's one function of them, but mine are, well mine. There's nothing "yuck" about other people enjoying them if I'm happy for them to do so. I also enjoy having them.

It seems rather sad and puritanical to feel that it's "yuck" for anyone other than my baby to appreciate them.

I bf-ed for 18 months, not obsessively discreetly, not ostentatiously, but matter-of-factly. I did take others' feelings into account.

Just as I don't eat with my mouth open and I try not to splatter sauce over my neighbour when I have pasta, I made efforts to avoid others being showered with breastmilk. Sometimes these things happen - but not making at least a modicum of effort to reduce their likelihood is just arrogant.

Jenai- that's just odd.

It's not 'yuck' to enjoy boobs other than for feeding.
but they are primaily there through evolution, because we're mammals, to feed young.
They have two secondary functions: making your body look good, and as sex toys - but it should not be the only thing they're perceived as.

Babies drink milk because that's what thy're designed for - and babies really are too young to dictate how they should feed. seriously - they just want the food - they really, really don't care if thy pull off halfway through to look at hte rest of the world, and they really, really don't care if the whole world gets a flash of mum's leaky boobs while they're at it.
there's not a lot you can do to change that. and that's no reason to hide away.

Er, I didn't mean for that to be so disjointed. And smug.

OP here - I went to bed early last night. Looks like poor Teeny got a pasting on my behalf . TBH some of you have missed the point that in many ways my sister is inconsiderate and treats parenthood as exhibitionism. She didn't have to sit a foot away from the young guys, turn towards them or engage them in conversation while she breastfed. She actually told them what dishes they must order from the menu - despite having only been to WM once before and struggling to use chopsticks!!! V funny IMO and she is the world expert on everything especially child rearing but I felt for them . We are all different I'm glad I can choose my friends and when DC arrives in a few months I can choose to socialise with other mums who choose to try and consider other people when out with children. Teeny - you would be welcome any time

I only used mine for feeding purposes for a while though. So over my lifetime that aspect of my breasts is secondary.

Breasts are astonishingly multipurpose though, aren't they. Fabulous things.

OP, your sister sounds a laugh.

sounds like it's more of an issue with your brash sister than it is about bfing.

come on, tell us what other outlandish/embarrassing things she's done....

Can you imagine sitting in a nice restaurant or cafe tucking into a lovely meal and a fellow diner takes offense at what you are eating because they dont like the look of it, so they throw a scarf over your head so they dont have to see it.
I'd scream the place down.

Yes, please consider what you're saying before you make comments to a new mum who's trying to get to grips with BFing.

My otherwise lovely friend made me feel foolish and wretched when I was visiting her one day when DS was very young. He was feeding every 10 minutes the way they do sometimes and friend snapped at me in front of two other mums 'For God's sake, will you stop feeding that baby!'

No matter how lovely she's been in the two years since I still flush when I remember how that made me feel.

Just don't project your inhibitions or lack of knowledge onto others that's all.

OP- You're ridiculous.
*Considerate" of other people?

She was feeding her child. So what if she made conversation while doing so, it isn't illegal.

You need to get a grip, and when you finally become a parent you will see a whole new world open up around you of women who feed their children in public. It isn't a criminal offence, it's perfectly bloody normal and if you don't like it, don't stare.

I was asked by a man to feed my son in the toilet in one restaurant. I stood up with my son to my breast, picked up the man's plate and asked if he would like to eat his lunch in the toilet? He quietened down after that.

In a society where looking at breasts in a sexual manner is considered normal I'd have thought breast feeding wouldn't disgust QUITE so many women. It's just so unfortunate for them.

I got a ticking off for feeding ds in the ladies. It was a huge ladies, with a chaise. More like a powder room. I went there because it was quiet and ds was able to feed more efficiently (less head turning!) and, lovely as bf-ing is, often I just wanted it over and done with.

I think she meant well, though.

I got a ticking off for feeding ds in the ladies. It was a huge ladies, with a chaise. More like a powder room. I went there because it was quiet and ds was able to feed more efficiently (less head turning!) and, lovely as bf-ing is, often I just wanted it over and done with.

I think she meant well, though.

'I was asked by a man to feed my son in the toilet in one restaurant. I stood up with my son to my breast, picked up the man's plate and asked if he would like to eat his lunch in the toilet? He quietened down after that.'

What a magnificent response!