to think this about dog-owners?

[Catmilk]

10 Things That Piss Me Off About Dogs And Their Owners

First of all, I don't hate dogs. I love my brother's dog, and I'll make friends with any canine in my immediate vicinity. They're mostly cute and loving and blah blah blah. But....

1. A dog's unconditional love is not a beautiful thing. They have no choice. What are they going to do, pack their bags one day and 'screw you, I'm getting my own place?' They love you, or whoever the hell buys them, because you give them food and shelter and they are pack animals forced to hang around with a human. They 'love' a junkie who beats them, or a drunk old racist crank. They are the sluts of the animal world.

1. Dog owners generally couldn't give a monkeys if their little 'babies' make other people sick with allergies, or have to step in their disgusting poop. Sure the law says scoop it up or you'll get a fine, but before that how many dog owners took any responsibility for filling the streets and parks with potentially child-blinding sh*t? Maybe three?

1. Dogs aren't babies.

1. Most kids are scared of dogs, especially strange ones. Most of us can probably remember being chased by some barking animal bigger than us while the owner laughed and said 'Don't worry he won't bite you.' How would they like it if I came round to their house and wielding an axe shouting at their kids 'I'm going to chop you up hahaha!', then said 'Don't worry, I won't really.'

1. And sometimes they do bite.

1. 'My dogs got me through my divorce, they were always there for me, etc.' I could say the same about cigarettes, but that doesn't make them sacred or noble, just dumb animals that would eat you if you had a heart attack and there was no other food in the house.

1. I'm a vegetarian. If you love animals so much, I hope you have a good reason why some are like children and some are like a sandwich.

1. Like spinsters and their cats, don't you notice how in general it's the people who aren't good with people that anthropomorphousize (sp?) their pets to a ridiculous degree? Fluffy does not want to wear a little Prada coat, and he doesn't have a favourite TV show. He just wants to sniff stuff, usually other dog's bums, and eat.

1. And also f*ck, which dog 'lovers' generally make sure he can never do. Unless they've been inspired by that Nancy Friday book...

10. And raise a family, which dog owners make sure they can never do. Humans take away all their babies and sell them, to other people who will keep them in an infantilized, unnatural state, just to feed their egos and their need to feel needed. Repeat - the monsters take away all their babies!

There, now half the forum hates me. If only I had a wet nose and a little tail they'd forgive me if I pooped in their handbag...

....wouldn't really like to spend much time with a cat...

..... wouldn't really like to spend any time with the OP.

'Hairiel' Fantastic!!!FYI my house isn't a tip, as I said it takes more effort to keep it clean and I am fairlysure I haven't got dog poo in my washing machine

I love my woofers and they are part of the family, they are loyal and loving and very protective of our kids. I couldn't imagine life without dogs, I was brought up with them and so have my children.

I once threw a pair of (human) pants in the washing machine, not knowing they were full of (human) poo. It took wash after wash to get the smell out of the duvet cover I washed with it

I always rinse the dogs bed in the shower before it goes in the washer, to get the excess hair off, then I run the washer on an empty 90deg cycle after washing the dogs beds. My washer is never smelly. I dare say, since it gets the empty wash once a week it's cleaner than most non dog owner's washers.

They only shit the yard. I can't fit the yard in the washer. We have to use the hose and a yard brush instead.

Rapaccioli - five posts with the same 'go away' message? If you no lika my thread, there are others available, so take your own advice, mwah. x

OP - love your rant, especially "I'm a vegetarian. If you love animals so much, I hope you have a good reason why some are like children and some are like a sandwich".

But my dog is special and lovely.

Oh, and I'd be mortified if someone stepped in her crap. If she does a sloppy one in the park I'll spend ages trying to scrape it up. I get through loads of crap bags.

"OP - love your rant, especially "I'm a vegetarian. If you love animals so much, I hope you have a good reason why some are like children and some are like a sandwich".

I'll answer that one. I don't think that dogs are like children. Dogs are far preferable.

And I'm vegan, so will not be lectured to by a mere vegetarian. :o

Catmilk, btw, do you know the amount of cruelty which goes into producing a pint of milk?

I still wish you'd take the hint

"I don't think that dogs are like children. Dogs are far preferable. "

ok - when was the last time your children ate the shit out of the cat tray, spent the next half hour licking their arse, then decided to affectionately lick your face when you weren't looking?

I love my dog but there are times, including those when she pisses on the dining room carpet even when the back door is open when I get a tiny bit bothered. And yes my house smells because of it.

Bless them!

My dogs don't eat from cat litter trays and never soil indoors. They don't answer back, don't scream, don't write on walls, don't whinge, don't interrupt, don't run around supermarkets, don't drop litter, don't have tantrums....

Oh yes! I far prefer my dogs to children! :)

"I still wish you'd take the hint

Nope, it's the lack of blind prejudice and ignorance, the lack of an undeserved and unearned superiority complex and the lack of a desire not to kill or abuse for fun every species they come across.

I can't help thinking that the patting you on the head thing has really narked you, hasn't it? Or surely you'd have got over it and ignored it by now...

Oh, and funny wasn't the objective.

Gah! I meant of course, "...the lack of a desire to kill or abuse for fun...", not "the lack of a desire not to kill...".

"Blind obedience" hahahahahaha!!! You should meet my dogs!! My child and stepchildren, although fairly unruly, are miles more 'obedient' than my dogs (still love them though) . Rapaccioli Fair play to you for being a vegan, wish I had the willpower to do it.

The RappaDogs are far more obedient than any child.... the RappaDC included. :)

Rapaccioli, its debatable who is the 'narked' one here.... I don't mind you disagreeing with my light-hearted list of why dog-lovers tend to be a bit mental, which you have in no way confirmed... but just saying the same thing every page was boring. When interacting with humans you've got to raise your game a little, ok?

I was going to steer well clear of this thread as it could / has turned nasty, but here's my experience:
My D Sis is single and childless. She lives miles from our family because of her job and all her local friends are busy with husbands and children. No, she doesn't treat it like a substitute child, it knows it's place. She's a responsible owner who clears up it's poo and keeps it under control around the public. Yes, her house smells of wet dog at times, but it's HER house.
Her dog has saved her sanity. But it gives her a good reason to get out of the house every day. She's fitter and slimmer than she's ever been. She gets to talk to fellow dog walkers and has made dogwalking friends when her other friends were all too wrapped up in their DH & DC when her relationship broke down. And the amazing welcome home after a hard session at work makes walking into an empty house bearable.
OK, so the OP clearly doesn't like the way a few owners treat their dogs, but many people believe the world is a better place because of them.

"When interacting with humans you've got to raise your game a little, ok?"

Rarely.

Very rarely.

AbigailS Very well put, my sentiments exactly.

I think your time would be been better spent walking your dogs than posting this rather pointless thread!

Oh god there are some real misery guts around!

I'm a dog lover, I don't agree with anything in the OP but it's bloody funny and gave me a good laugh.

Nice one Catmilk!

my dog is the last of three that have all lived long lives, my border collie was a sweetie and lived to be 17, my cairn terrier was a little bugger who lived to be 15 and i still miss him and his scally ways, the one thats left rio is now 13 shes smelly, got hardly any teeth, cant see very well is not a pretty dog but shes happy and while shes happy i will not have her pts, but at the end of the day shes not a baby, shes a dog and is treated like a dog, the cats on the other hand are my babies (joke) no they are cats and if one of us wants to sit down they get evicted from the sofa, they are not allowed in our bedroom, six cats and 2 humans wouldnt fit, where cats and dogs are concerned you are either a person who likes and has animals or your not and as far as im concerned cest la vie i like my pets and dont give a shit if other people dont oh and the let them have families tell the person who dumped a pregnant cat, her daughter and her three kittens outside the gate of haworth cat rescue sometime in the night in the pouring rain that cats (dogs) are better off as parents

5 reasons why the dog-bash thread is getting boring as fuck now:

1. It's done every Tuesday
2. It's done with exactly the same people every Tuesday
3. If you're still posting it fruitlessly you obviously can't win the argument
4. Dogs can lick their own nuts - most blokes would love this talent
5. My dog is cuter than you

5 reasons why I'd rather hang around with dog owners than idiots who sit and e-thug it up against them on the internet:

1. They at least have some empathy that there are other species on this planet than themselves
2. They're nicer people in general
3. They talk to people, and take an interest in other people rather than just going through life in some bubble of their own ego
4. They're bloody handy for finding dead bodies, thus helping the police and the crime statistics
5. (My dog's suggestion) They often have nice dog treats in their pockets and give them to dogs who can pull cute faces and sit nicely

1 reason why the whole cat v dog thing is bloody pointless:

1. Both my cat AND my dog are fanfuckingtastic.