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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this about dog-owners?

126 replies

Catmilk · 30/05/2011 19:34

10 Things That Piss Me Off About Dogs And Their Owners

First of all, I don't hate dogs. I love my brother's dog, and I'll make friends with any canine in my immediate vicinity. They're mostly cute and loving and blah blah blah. But....

  1. A dog's unconditional love is not a beautiful thing. They have no choice. What are they going to do, pack their bags one day and 'screw you, I'm getting my own place?' They love you, or whoever the hell buys them, because you give them food and shelter and they are pack animals forced to hang around with a human. They 'love' a junkie who beats them, or a drunk old racist crank. They are the sluts of the animal world.
  1. Dog owners generally couldn't give a monkeys if their little 'babies' make other people sick with allergies, or have to step in their disgusting poop. Sure the law says scoop it up or you'll get a fine, but before that how many dog owners took any responsibility for filling the streets and parks with potentially child-blinding sh*t? Maybe three?
  1. Dogs aren't babies.
  1. Most kids are scared of dogs, especially strange ones. Most of us can probably remember being chased by some barking animal bigger than us while the owner laughed and said 'Don't worry he won't bite you.' How would they like it if I came round to their house and wielding an axe shouting at their kids 'I'm going to chop you up hahaha!', then said 'Don't worry, I won't really.'
  1. And sometimes they do bite.
  1. 'My dogs got me through my divorce, they were always there for me, etc.' I could say the same about cigarettes, but that doesn't make them sacred or noble, just dumb animals that would eat you if you had a heart attack and there was no other food in the house.
  1. I'm a vegetarian. If you love animals so much, I hope you have a good reason why some are like children and some are like a sandwich.
  1. Like spinsters and their cats, don't you notice how in general it's the people who aren't good with people that anthropomorphousize (sp?) their pets to a ridiculous degree? Fluffy does not want to wear a little Prada coat, and he doesn't have a favourite TV show. He just wants to sniff stuff, usually other dog's bums, and eat.
  1. And also f*ck, which dog 'lovers' generally make sure he can never do. Unless they've been inspired by that Nancy Friday book...
  1. And raise a family, which dog owners make sure they can never do. Humans take away all their babies and sell them, to other people who will keep them in an infantilized, unnatural state, just to feed their egos and their need to feel needed. Repeat - the monsters take away all their babies!

There, now half the forum hates me. If only I had a wet nose and a little tail they'd forgive me if I pooped in their handbag...

OP posts:
redflagsahoy · 30/05/2011 23:19

Catmilk I LOVE my dog, just wanted to tell you, your 10 points actually upset me. I don't care if you want to call me ridiculous... you are insulting dog owners and their ways with dogs, you are not part of my relationship with my dog, you have no idea the amount of love he brings to our family. I really dislike YOU based on your opinions and I think YABVVVVVVU. But then again I would because I LOVE dogs and think its sweet that people feel such affection towards pets.

Original poster
Catmilk · 30/05/2011 23:31

'So it was posted in 2009 and you still can't spell?'

'anthropomorphousize?' My spell-checker won't even accept it's a word so it's tough... how do you spell it then, EvenLessNarkyPuffin?

OP posts:
EvenLessNarkyPuffin · 30/05/2011 23:40

Seriously? A N T H R O P O M O R P H I S E / Z E

See. GCSE English.

That took 2 years too.

Original poster
Catmilk · 30/05/2011 23:49

Hmm, I thought there was an extra syllable in there. Still my spell-checker doesn't recognize either of your spellings either... (although they are both correct).

OP posts:
Original poster
Catmilk · 30/05/2011 23:51

Your 'See.' should arguably have a question mark instead of a full stop, but I'm not one to be pedantic.

OP posts:
FourFingeredKitkat · 31/05/2011 00:00

OP, It made me laugh anyway, whether accurate (of some) or not!

UpsyDaisyDo · 31/05/2011 00:02

I'm a dog owner and lover and altho I disagree with some of your points on the whole your post made me chuckle.

I would challenge the following tho. Unconditional love from dogs IS a wonderful thing. I have two shih tzu's the male of which will definitely not give love to someone he's not sure of (generally the male of the species) and has been known to snarl and occasionally bite if whoever this person is persists and thinks he can win said dog over. U can't!

Also, while I agree some kids are scared of dogs I don't think all or the majority are. Quite often its the parents fear that stops little Johnnie stroking the harmless tea cup terrier that they really want to say hello to in the park. This annoys me no end!

DizzyDummy · 31/05/2011 00:31

For the record I LOVE LOVE LOVE my dogs. They bring such richness to all my family's life and I couldn't imagine life without them. They are great company for me when I am working, a reason to go and get fresh air and exercise every day, playpals/confidantes for my son, very effective burglar alarms, stress relievers, gosh the list goes on. Yes my carpets need vacuuming twice a day and my house probably smells like a kennel but to be honest, if someone comes to my house and is bothered by it, well they know where the door is...I can understand people who don't like dogs but usually people decide this after actual interaction WITH dogs, have you had any experience of dogs as I can't help feeling that you haven't and for that reason I pity you. Apologies if I am wrong.

wudu · 31/05/2011 00:46

Well quite.

I've just asked old yeller what he thinks of your OP. He reckons it's rough ...

SockShitter · 31/05/2011 01:10

I liked your OP, don't see how it hated dogs/animals.. I like the children vs sandwich comment too! So mething i haveoften wondered myself when listening to an "animal lover" ranting.

jasminetom · 31/05/2011 07:10

I do agree and loved your post but, as an owner of both I have to say I feel just the same about mumsy child owners. The child stinks because it has shat itself and I am not enjoying the mess/noise and actually, no I do not think he is sweet.

ZZZenAgain · 31/05/2011 07:12

actually (as a dog owner) I agree with a lot of your OP

LostInTransmogrification · 31/05/2011 07:16

No need to be a bitch Biscuit

Msfish · 31/05/2011 08:04

AIBU to dislike humans who:

  1. Get drunk and vomit/piss on the pavement and don't clean it up
  2. Shout and Fight each other
  3. Drop litter, especially when standing next to bin
  4. Are completely unfriendly and lack compassion and empathy
  5. Racist, bigoted and rude
  6. Dress in inappropriate clothing so I am presented with their bum crack
  7. Shout and swear at their children and haul them about.
  8. Play loud music no one else wants to listen to
  9. Start wars
10. Batter wives/children

the list could go on and on, so on the whole I would much rather spend time with a dog or a cat than some humans...

JamieAgain · 31/05/2011 08:23

Dizzy - I'm coming round to dogs. I have watched The Dog Whisperer and think that whole approach to making dogs secure and comfortable by making sure they know their place in the pack is really interesting. I think the problem for many non dog-lovers is that their first introduction to dogs in the street etc is fairly negative - barking, poo, dogs jumping up, smell. Much the same could be said about children. What is interesting is that I, as a parent can totally get why some people are not enamoured of other people's children, but some dog owners can't at all get why dogs aren't seen as this brilliant thing by the rest of us.

I do think that poor owners spoil it for the rest of you, however, so I can see why you'd get a bit fed up with it.

JamieAgain · 31/05/2011 08:36

MsFish - I don't like any of those either. Annoying things are annoying things. It's not a dog vs person competition. I think that's what the OP was getting at when she mentioned anthropomorphising animals

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 31/05/2011 08:47

It made me smile, and I am a dog lover. Can't have one because DS1 is allergic to doggy saliva, but I have many fond memories of childhood pooches.

Chandon · 31/05/2011 08:48

MSFish, you are exactly confirming the OPs point that people who love dogs just do so because they don't get on with other people.

ILoveThinLizzy · 31/05/2011 09:03

I love dogs. My son loves dogs. I intend to have one when we get our dream house.

A while back, Valhalla cured me of my infatuation with a puppy - considering my present circumstances :)

I still intend to get a puppy though when the timing is right.

PS: ChickenHaveNoEyebrows - your UN made me laugh....would you believed I googled an image of a chicken to confirm that? :)

Original poster
Catmilk · 31/05/2011 10:14

DizzyDummy "have you had any experience of dogs as I can't help feeling that you haven't and for that reason I pity you."

OP (me) - "First of all, I don't hate dogs. I love my brother's dog, and I'll make friends with any canine in my immediate vicinity. They're mostly cute and loving and blah blah blah. But...."

I should add that there were plenty of dogs around me growing up in my extended family. I've dog-sat loads for my old friends/neighbours. No not all dog-owners are like I describe. So...

5 Good Things About Dogs And Their Owners

  1. If there were no dogs, then we'd never find any murder victims, as their bodies are always found by dog-walkers.
  1. Scooby-Doo. Although his presence on the team tends to be mostly ineffectual if not downright counter-productive, we must assume that he plays an important part in the foiling of disgruntled janitors of spooky abandoned fun-fair diamond-smuggling schemes.
  1. Cute guy? Oh he's got a tiny dog, who needs gaydar?
  1. The knowledge that no matter how messy you have let the house get, there will be some pet owner on How Clean Is Your House to feel superior to. At least there's no dog poo in my washing machine. I win!
  1. No need for an expensive alarm clock if you A. live in an area with a wide array of canine chums who love a morning chat. and B. have no specific time you need to wake other than dawn/pre-dawn/middle of the night.

x

OP posts:
emptyshell · 31/05/2011 10:14

Aaah is it Tuesday again?

You really need to vary your schedule guys... may I suggest next week we do cat-hating on Tuesday, switch dog-hating to a Friday and then we can run breastfeeding in public from Saturday through to Monday to keep all the usual subjects covered.

Rapaccioli · 31/05/2011 10:19

Children at weddings. You forgot children at weddings, emptyshell.

DooinMeCleanin · 31/05/2011 10:23

How does one get dog poo in their washing machine? Have I been washing my dogs the wrong way all this time? I thought you were meant to do them in the shower, not the washer? Is there a special washing powder for dogs or is Surf okay?

emptyshell · 31/05/2011 10:24

Oh yeah we can stick children at weddings in on Wednesday.

Seriously - it's been like at least the last three Tuesdays in a row (cos I made the joke about it last week) that the dog thread's appeared.... mix it up a bit!

101 reasons hamsters are shite pets!

Rapaccioli · 31/05/2011 10:25

Hairiel? :o

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