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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to leave my dc alone while i go out for the evening?

117 replies

heavyheartedfarted · 30/05/2011 19:30

Have 4dc,younger 2 are staying with gp for 2 nights and as a newly single parent i would love to get out these nights.
So AIBU to leave dd 11 (12 in 5 weeks) and ds 13 alone for 4/5 hours whilst i go out with friends?They are both happy for this to happen and are very sensible but you read so many stories of parents getting in trouble for similar things,would love to know what age others think this is ok.

OP posts:

PacificDogwood · 30/05/2011 21:45

They do sound like great kids and would surely be fine . And love the responsibility and the trust you show them.
I think the idea to let them chose some rental DVDs/take-away for the night is really nice.

Hope you have a nice evening out, whatever you decide, heavyhearted.

supergreenuk · 30/05/2011 21:48

Isn't it against the law at that age. I wouldn't as I know as a kid I would have freaked out at being left but you know your children.

Maybe if you get them a movie and snacks and ensure you back when the film is about to end so they know there is a planned return. I don't suppose you need to go clubbing till 2am.

Maryz · 30/05/2011 21:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pandygirl · 30/05/2011 21:50

My SS are 12 and 10, and no way would I leave them alone for more than 30 minutes, (but only because I'd be worried about the state of the house!) - no seriously they are young for their ages, but I was babysitting for very young children at that age so I think it depends on the child.

Sorry that isn't very productive is it?

Original poster

heavyheartedfarted · 30/05/2011 21:52

thank you for all your thoughts,in 3 months they will be 12 and 14 does not sound as bad put like that.
Am definatly liking the idea of dvds/takeaways ,that way it seems we are all having a treat night.
polar-i used to look after my baby brother a lot from the age of 11 as my mum had bad depression but times have changed so much and sometimes i dont think its for the best.

OP posts:

exoticfruits · 30/05/2011 22:39

It isn't against the law!

atswimtwolengths · 30/05/2011 23:04

I wouldn't do it. I think it puts too much responsibility on their shoulders. Is there any way you can ask their friends' mums if they can go for a sleepover?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 31/05/2011 01:05

I think they're both old enough to be left at home; they're both at secondary school now. As long as they have contact numbers for an emergency, they'll be fine. :)

exoticfruits · 31/05/2011 07:17

Children do actually need responsibility! I don't think it is too much if you are on the end of the phone and they can contact a neighbour.

QuintessentialOldMoo · 31/05/2011 07:22

I think at that age it is fine, as long as you are not out somewhere getting plastered....

HeartBurnQueen · 31/05/2011 07:22

Well I'm popping out for a couple of hours tonight and leaving the DC at home. They are 12 and 10. 12 year old will still be at the position I left him in when I get home (at his laptop) and 10 year old will either be on the xbox or watching TV. They have my mobile number, I'm only 10 minutes away and they know not to touch anything in the kitchen or answer the door.

snailoon · 31/05/2011 07:25

I leave 13 year old and 9 year old alone. It is good for them and they only fight to annoy me, so are ok when I'm gone.We live in a village, with helpful neighbours, and have been doing this for a while. Use your common sense; people get really hysterical about things like this. Everyone's so afraid.

seeker · 31/05/2011 07:27

The really crucial thing to ask is"Do they get on well together and enjoy each other's company?" If the answer is yes, and they are sendible and they want to stay home alone, then it's fine.

If they are inclined to fall out, or if they don;t want to do it, then don;t.

seeker · 31/05/2011 07:29

And if you've got a child to 13 without it being able to cook a simple meal safely, then you've done something wrong somewhere!

exoticfruits · 31/05/2011 08:05

I found the same thing snailoon-they only fight to annoy me! Left on their own they go in separate rooms and do their own thing!

redfairy · 31/05/2011 12:29

I left my two at that age for 4-5 hours. I trusted them to behave, made sure they were fed and watered and they would put themselves to bed. You know your kids better than anyone else and children do need these experiences so they learn to use their own judgement of what's right and wrong and how to problem solve. It is difficult to make the decison though without thinking of the dangers. I'm struggling at the moment with letting my nine year old go to the shop and cross one minor road, something my older two were doing at a much younger age. But then my nine year old is completely different to her brother and sister...

LadyBeagleEyes · 31/05/2011 12:42

I left my 14 year old alone for a few days last year after a sudden death in the family, over 100 miles away.
I had a friend look in on him every day and phoned him all the time.
He got himself off to school and looked after the dog. He was fine, I see nothing wrong in leaving them for a few hours.

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