to put 2.5yo DD in a high chair in a restaurant

[Amateurish]

Whenever we go out as a family to a restaurant, I always put DD in a highchair. She probably could use a normal chair but it might be less comfortable for her with the height of the table and it makes life easier for us as she stays put.

Reason for question is that we went for sunday lunch yesterday, booked in advance including a high chair. Part way through meal, a woman asks quite abruptly that we give her the highchair as our DD is quite old enough to sit on a normal chair. The cafe has run out of highchairs apparently and her granddaughter (about 1.5 I'd guess) is on her father's lap. We I refuse to turf DD out of said highchair, she accuses us of being selfish and storms off.

My initial thought was that she was being rude and U. On further thought, now wondering if DD is indeed too old for highchair.

MN jury?

YANBU.

Why does the other woman deserve it more just because her child is younger?

The OP obviously got a highchair because she needed it, she booked it, her child was in the middle of using it.

I always thought highchairs were for 6m-3y, so anyone in that bracket is equally entitled to use it. Some might say why didn't the other woman and her family bring a booster for the 18m old.

My DD stopped using a highchair at home around 2yo. But still used one out and about until around 2y 10m, purely so she could reach the table comfortably and so she wasnt trying to escape every 5 seconds. Meant she ate better too.

If someone had asked for my DD's seat while we were in the middle of a meal (and they had interrupted said meal to do so) then they would have been politely told no.

YANBU. My ds is 2.8 and kneels on chairs at home but when out likes being in high chairs and the right height with everyone else. While he can sit on a chair he then doesn't eat nearly as well.

Whereas when he was 18mo it was much easier to sit him on people's laps when we ended up in places when no high chair was available (disorganized parent, rarely booked anywhere). I could hold him in place with one arm back then... [wistful sigh]

I'd have politely said that of course they could have the high chair as soon as we'd finished using it, as we'd booked it. Quite possibly ds would have said the baby could have his chair!

There was no opportunity to give the woman the seat after our meal, they had arrived some time before us. I reckon they had been watching our empty reserved table and highchairs for a while before we turned up. Then maybe getting gradually more annoyed as we got settled in and started the meal. The reactions of the mother and father of the baby suggested that this was GM's own little crusade.

GM probably polices her local supermarket car-park berating people who park in M&B spaces if they are over her 'age limit'.
FWIW YANBU her attitude stinks but unfortunately that spoils a meal for everyone.

YANBU. I used a highchair for DS1 in restaurants at that age. Yes, he would sit still at home, but home is boring, not full of interesting people with their different dinners, and busy people rushing around with plates of hot food! Also at home he sat at a little table and chair, not kneeling on an adult one. DS2 is 19 months, in the same situation, I would strap him into his puschair rather than have him on my lap, but with 4 people to help, that sounds manageable.
Eating out is a real treat for us. I do not want to spend the whole time stopping children from getting down from the table, and rushing to finish my food. That is why we deliberately go places where they are always plenty of higchairs. If there were none, I would go somewhere else.

I think it's fine to use a highchair if they are available - but I also think YWBU and selfish not to give it up for a younger child. You could have coped with the rest of the meal with your DS in a regular seat much more easily than they could have.

YANBU, You have the sense to book ahead

Last week we booked a highchair for dd 2.6 . If she had sat on the restaurant chair she wouldn't have seen her food let alone the plate. YANBU......

YANBU. you booked it you have it. I worked in a restaurant a short while ago and had this every Sunday lunch. People insisting on highchairs for their kids and trying to convince us to take them from other people to give to them and if we refused, going up to the people themselves.

The best family were a pair of parents with a set of twins and a third child. Never booked in but always insisted we take three highchairs from other people for them. Every week (different days/times) we explained that we couldn't, if they'd book in we could, or at least give us an idea on day/time as they were regulars so we'd be happy to accomodate that, but no.

Some people are just entitled.

Indith: Our restaurant wasn't allowed booster cushions and were only allowed one brand of highchair which were quite expensive! Health and safety bollocks.

Also, same applies to booster seats brought in from home, depending on the restaurant obviously. We didn't have a policy on them, but another restaurant we were connected to did and it was a firm no as a child had fallen off of one when the parent hadn't secured it properly, the parent tried to sue and blamed the staff for not checking it and for not providing her an adequate chair for the seat

The crucial question for me is in the manner of asking, and therefore YWNBU.

Re restaurants not having enough highchairs - when will they learn that the cheep Ikea ones are easy to clean, stack easily and are hard to break!

I have been known to silently cheer to myself when entering a cafe that has the ikea ones, because I know I can clean them quite happily myself with a wipe, even if they aren't 100% clean to start with.

here's one way of looking at this one...

You are eating your meal (just as the OP's DD was), and someone says, "hi, excuse me, but my chair is broken and the restaurant is full, I really need to sit, but can see you are able to stand, so can I have your's please?".

Would you?

Now I might... cos I'd feel guilty otherwise. BUT I'd not make my 2.5 year old stand for a meal... which at that age is what would happen. Even at 4.7 she often has to kneel up to reach, even at home. Oh but I haven't used a highchair in a while, mainly cos DD doesn't WANT to use one, and I respect that.

I would NEVER judge that a child was "ABLE" to sit out of a high chair, there could be any number of reasons why the OP needs it. For instance, my friends DS would NEED a high chair for physical reasons... should HE be hoiked out?

On the other hand, I usually kept my DD on my lap when she was around 1 because she was small in the high chair.

YANBU. You had the forethought to book it. If the other family needed one so badly, they should have done the same.

YANBU. First come, first served and all that....

My DS is almost 2 and I put him in a highchair every meal time, at home or out, as otherwise he would get down from the table and run wild. I can see him still needing to go in a highchair at 2 and a half, certainly if we want to eat a meal reasonably easily and with minimum disruption.

Perhaps if the other person had asked you in a more polite manner you might have been more inclined to give her the highchair but you had every right to say no as your DD was using it.

YANBU, you got there first, tough that's life.
I have never seen a boaster cushion in a UK restaurant only in the States. often thought they'd be really handy, DH got fed up of eating one handed with DC on his lap.

YANBU, you were there first and were prepared, they weren't.

My DD is nearly 2 and there is no way she would eat meals at home if she wasn't in a highchair, let alone in a restaurant, and I can see her being in one for a while longer, at least while she easily fits into one, and is happy to be in one. Whether she 'should' be able to do without one is a different matter....