to put 2.5yo DD in a high chair in a restaurant

[Amateurish]

Whenever we go out as a family to a restaurant, I always put DD in a highchair. She probably could use a normal chair but it might be less comfortable for her with the height of the table and it makes life easier for us as she stays put.

Reason for question is that we went for sunday lunch yesterday, booked in advance including a high chair. Part way through meal, a woman asks quite abruptly that we give her the highchair as our DD is quite old enough to sit on a normal chair. The cafe has run out of highchairs apparently and her granddaughter (about 1.5 I'd guess) is on her father's lap. We I refuse to turf DD out of said highchair, she accuses us of being selfish and storms off.

My initial thought was that she was being rude and U. On further thought, now wondering if DD is indeed too old for highchair.

MN jury?

YANBU. It is the restaurants problem, not yours. If your child is not able to sit at at chair, then she isn't, and that's it. That's why you booked the high chair. If the other family are disorganised and didn't remember to book it, it is not your fault. They'll learn for next time.

Two high chairs is just being greedy. The eldest child is old enough now to sit at the table.

Not booking doesn't equate disorganised. Since when are people not allowed to make spur of the moment plans just because they have a young child?

Without knowing exactly what provision the restaurant makes, and what size it is, its hard to blame them either. They can't know how many high chairs will be needed at once. They can only work off averages, and what space they actually have to store them in a lot of cases.

I'm glad to hear it too, twoistwice!

Nope i definitely think YANBU my DS is 2.5 and still in high chair in the house and when we go anywhere, reason is, he IS too small to reach a table comfortably and is small for his age (only 43cm at birth) so still has to catch up, plus he eats better in a highchair, i wouldn't have gave up mine either unless he was close to finishing his dinner :)

yanbu!
And the woman's problem should have been with the restaurant, not with you. Incredibly rude to interrupt someone else's meal.

IME most under 3s do better in a high chair. She'd have spilled stuff all over the place and herself, or sat on YOUR lap and spilled it all over you.

My lo is 2 1/2 and he sits on a bench next to me. To be honest we are lucky he will stay on the seat and eat and he wont try to get down. However if he was the type of child who cant sit still then I would put him in a highchair.

At the end of the day its not your fault the cafe ran out of highchairs, you books your in advance dont worry about it. The woman should have told the owners to get more highchairs in.

My 2.5 yr old twins are still in high chairs because they are teeny tiny and can't reach the table properly (nothing to do with the fact that if they aren't pinned down they won't eat of course...)

I can't believe that people seem to think this is any different to any other stage of child development, they all develop at different rates, so if your child needs a high chair to eat, and enjoy their meal then so be it!

If we walked into a restaurant and they didn't have 2 highchairs available then we would go somewhere else, (unless of course we were in the middle of nowhere with absolutely no option).

YANBU. You planned ahead and booked the chairs because you do still have a need for them.

Our LO is two years and two months old and we still prefer to use a highchair where possible, mainly because of the height of tables etc.

I think anyone with a child who has ever eaten a meal out has balanced a child on their knee due to a shortage of clean, safe, unbroken highchairs at least once.

Getting a high chair in a restaurant can be a bit of a lottery and we've had several meals spent passing LO between us so we can take turns to feed him and eat ourselves, using his pushchair as a low chair or cutting up our own food into tiny bite size bits so we can balance him, feed him and feed ourselves all one handed.

It's not ideal to have a one and a half year old on your lap while you eat but there was more than one adult in that group to help with the holding and feeding, the woman sounded rude, they could have planned ahead as easily as you did and two and a half is still young enough to use a highchair. It's not ideal to make someone elses two and a half year old kneel on a grown up chair either.

We have a few favourite restaurants locally, one has contained booths that have high seats and low tables, ideal for LO and so no need for a highchair. Another asks if parents can either book a highchair or wait until one is available at busy times and we've had no issue there either as they are happy to give LO something to occupy himself with (carrot sticks, crayons, a free drink etc) while we wait.

They had a few choices open to them, to book ahead, to wait for a highchair to become available or to cope between them with the child on their laps. Politely asking someone else to give up a highchair they were already using might have been an option if they really felt they had to but rudely demanding one should never have crossed their minds.

YANBU If there wasn't a highchair for them they should have gone somewhere else. I would have. You booked in advance because you needed it. The GM had a really bad attitude thinking you can make your kid uncomfortable for the sake of hers.

YANBU

We went for a meal with a group of old friends a little while ago and booked in advance, since we needed THREE highchairs between all the families that would be there. If your DD can't really reach the table comfortably, then she should be in the highchair.

Don't feel guilty about this.

Yanbu, it was the restaurant's problem, not your problem. The grandmother should have been pestering a waiter.

Just because someone else wants something, it doesn't mean you have to give it to them to be polite! Not if you need it, are using it already, and even booked it.

Yanbu as you had booked the highchair. It was the other family's problem if they took a gamble on their being a highchair without having booked in advance. If the restaurant don't keep a reasonable stock of highchairs for the amount of families using it, then perhaps the grandmother could have had a word with them .

However, I am quite surprised that a 2 and half yr old would sit comfortably in a high chair for an entire meal- and id certainly get them used to using a booster seat and knowing when to stay at the table etc. You may be storing up future problems if you're relying on keeping her trapped in a High chair to keep her under control

I don't know this. But sometimes people can be rude because because they find it difficult to approach strangers about things and are quite shy. So they wait and wait until they are all worked up and only then approach strangers. By the time they do this they have worked themselves up into a real anger.

It's not up to anyone else to decide that your dc doesn't need a highchair and theirs need one more. Some 2.5 yo's can't reach the table without one (most I would have thought although I have little dcs) and a lot wouldn't sit on the chair for longer then 30 secs without being strapped in.

You can't always tell how old a child is as well so no one should approach anyone else to ask for their hightchair in my opinion. I have know 18 month olds who look 3 and older children that need the highchair because of SN.

I think it was selfish too. My own DD2 was out of them by 18 months...unles there were loads available and the cafe was not busy. I usually considered others.

YAB a teeny tiny bit U - the woman needed the high chair and you could have managed without it. Having said that you did book it, the woman was rude and you were out to enjoy yourselves not chase a free range toddler (if my DD's anything to go by when not strapped to a seat ) Would have been kinder to give up the chair but understand why you didn't.

I showed DP this thread who suggested that even if their 1.5yo was in greater need of a highchair, they had one child between four adults whereas we had two between the two of us. If GM was so worried about the baby, maybe she should have helped out with the feeding and given the parents a break?

I'm sure DD can cope without a highchair but it's just about making life easier for us. And the purpose of going out for a family Sunday lunch was to have a relaxing meal. DD was very contented in her highchair, had a lovely meal then did colouring in.

We went to the same cafe when DD was 1.5 and didn't get a highchair. I would never have dreamed in a million years of turfing out someone else's kid.

YAB a little bit U. My DD is nearly 3 and can sit on a normal chair (and stay put!) at a restaurant but because she is a wee little thing it's definitely more comfortable for her to sit in a high chair. But because she is capable of sitting on a chair and sitting still for the duration of a meal I have no problem giving up the highchair to a parent of a younger child. My DD would simply kneel on her chair to eat (which she has no problems doing).

I do think the woman was rude, by the way.

Your DP makes a good point about the DC to adult ratio too - it's all a bit daft anyway as you were using the chair and it was your choice whether to give it up so the main ishoo for me is the woman's rudeness and sense of entitlement.

Mine at 2.5 would not have sat still as he doesn't find it possible! He gets off the chair, on the chair, off the chair etc and that's with rather intensive training on how to behave when out to eat. Some kids just won't sit still and at 2.5 would make a hell of a mess without a highchair!

It's irrelevant whether someone elses kids would be fine to eat kneeling up but if yours isn't thats all the matters. And yes I agree that a highchair for a child that age where they can spread out crayons etc that don't fall on the floor every few seconds is much more relaxing.