to put 2.5yo DD in a high chair in a restaurant

[Amateurish]

Whenever we go out as a family to a restaurant, I always put DD in a highchair. She probably could use a normal chair but it might be less comfortable for her with the height of the table and it makes life easier for us as she stays put.

Reason for question is that we went for sunday lunch yesterday, booked in advance including a high chair. Part way through meal, a woman asks quite abruptly that we give her the highchair as our DD is quite old enough to sit on a normal chair. The cafe has run out of highchairs apparently and her granddaughter (about 1.5 I'd guess) is on her father's lap. We I refuse to turf DD out of said highchair, she accuses us of being selfish and storms off.

My initial thought was that she was being rude and U. On further thought, now wondering if DD is indeed too old for highchair.

MN jury?

I would be v annoyed if I was enjoying a family meal that might have been a rare treat and was rudely interrupted, I also am going to say the grandmother WBU first of all for her manner and second of all for considering her enjoyment of a meal more important than yours, obviously you needed it or you wouldn't have been using it.

YANBU.

Your DD is still too small to reach the table and as you have said, you booked the highchair. Your DD should not have to be disturbed during her meal to be put in a less comfortable seat.

When my DD was 2.5 she was still in 18mth clothing, so far to small for a grown up chair in a restraunt.

yanbu. ds still uses a highchair sometimes, though he can now manage on a chair (2.8) that couple of months makes a real difference.

we always take our own though, as it lives in the car. (fed up of carrying it up and down 2 flights of stairs with the other stuff needed for 2 children)

I'd have been annoyed at a complete stranger interrupting my meal to inform me that my daughter didn't need a highchair I'd booked and she was sitting in. Her attitude and approach was all wrong and would have tested my goodwill.

Sounds like my MIL tbh, taking over with an "leave it to me I'll sort this out" attitude.

Probably her first grandchild.

I agree that the GM was BU. She should have asked a member of staff and let them find a solution. If someone had asked me for something I was using, I would have told them no. I would have been quite annoyed at the interruption! It's not for another family to decide whether you needed the highchair or not. I would have politely said that maybe they should book one next time, just like you had to. Hmmm, at a push, maybe if she had said 'when you're finished with that would you let us know please' then I most likely would have said of course, take it. It would depend on what mood my DC was in though tbh.

YANBU to still use a high chair. I often put DD in one at that age, if only to keep her sitting still long enough to eat something myself

The granny sounded rather rude and confrontational so I'd have told her to sling her hook. If granny had politely asked I'd have given up the highchair for this other little girl as it sounds like she needed it more. But she didn't. So she can jog on.

Well I don't think YABU. But then again my daughter has just turned 4 and still uses one when she goes out as she is very small and she can't reach the table if she sits on regular chairs. We have only just stopped using our high chair at home but she has plenty of cushions to sit on.

To be honest I do feel for the woman who didn't have one, but if it were me I'd fully understand that if the chairs are all being used then tough. I'd go to another restaurant that did have one. You don't just try and turf someone out of a chair mid-meal!!!

Well this is awkward, although you had booked the chair you could have managed without, and the other lady couldn't have managed without. You obviously can't change what happened now, but maybe this could be the trigger for starting getting her used to normal chairs.

I was in a restaurant today where there were only four highchairs. Three were being used, which left one. So one of my twins had to sit on the table while I fed him. It was a pita. He knocked drinks over, grabbed things, span round in circles etc etc but I would NEVER have approached anyone and asked for their highchairs.

Eventually someone left and offered me the one they we using. I think my reaction of 'thank God for that' told her how grateful I was for it.

YADNBU. They should have booked, they didn't, so why should their lack of planning ruin your meal?
Especially with that woman's attitude.

She not too old to be in a highchair. Ds2 was in one when 3 even at home as it was the only way I could keep him still.
I am the type of person who if I had seen them struggling and I thought mine could do without I would glady go up and offer them my chair. But when people are cheeky and expect it gets my back up and would probably say no and definnetely if she judged our situation.
You had booked the chair so was within to keep it.

YABU. A baby needed the highchair and that's what it's designed for. Your 2.5 year old could have sat on a chair. I would expect a DC of that age to be at the table on a chair and would certainly have given the baby the highchair if I'd been in that situation.

Wow, so many selfish people on one thread. Sod the mother struggling with the baby just because her mother/in law has a bit of an attitude. And so many short children unable to eat a meal without running off. I didn't realise that dd was so tall for her age or that my parenting skills were so fab. I thought it was pretty average for a 2.5yo to sit on a normal chair and eat.

Y were U IMO

Maybe they didnt know to book? Maybe they thought you would care about other people....

I don't think the having booked/not booked a high chair makes a whole lot of difference IMO. If we book a table somewhere we mention that we need a highchair but often we just turn up at places and in those cases just hope they have one.

DS is short so when he is old enough to not need a highchair but will still not be able to reach the table I will start taking a booster seat with me for him then. I certainly wouldn't use a highchair which another family needed more! My nephew is 2.5 and for the last 6 months or so if we are out as a family and there is only one high chair he would happily sit at the table, now he very rarely goes in a highchair anyway.

No you are def not being unreasonable. I have three children the youngest of whom is 2 and 7 months. She uses a high chair and as a result of this can sit nicely and we can attempt to teach her table manners. On the few occassions we have had her in restaurants without a high chair it is a living hell. Normal furniture is far too big and low for a 2 and a half year old. Their need was no greater than yours, could they have used their pushchair until a high chair became available?

i think granny was rude for interrupting, and i would have made it very clear to her.
i think at 2.5 your DD may or may not be capable of using an ordinary dining chair, only you can determine your childs height to table ratio and ability to cope.
i think the restaurant could have asked the other party to wait/come back later if they needed a chair that was unavailable.
i think anyone who goes out for a meal with a child of highchair age really ought to have an emergency back up chair with them--a small child who is happy to be fed can actually be tied comfortably to a chair with a pretty scarf, its not difficult or mean.

But Gwendoline surely it is as selfish to expect to get the high chair that someone else is clearly using, just because you want it too.

She was BU for interrupting you and being rude.

But if it had been me, and I'd seen another family with a small child who really needed a highchair, and my DC was using one they didn't really need, I'd probably offer it to them. I'd want them to do the same for me.

I have been in your position and offered the people with smaller baby the highchair my 2.5 year old was using. In that case the waiter saw me take it over and offered a booster seat that was hidden away (suitable for my daughter but not the other peoples) so we were all happy.

YWNBU because she asked rudely and you had booked it BUT I do think you could have been more considerate.

YANBU.

The woman was, and so was the restaurant.

You booked a highchair becuase your child is more comfortable in it, which in turn makes the meal out a more pleasant experience for everyone.

The woman was rude and BU to approach you when it was clearly being used.

The restaurant should be able to provide highchairs or at least booster seats for their customers, so they ABU. I'd mention the incident to them and suggest that they invest in more equipment.

I still put my 2 1/2 year old in a highchair if he needs it, and at home both he and DS1 who's 4 1/2, have booster seats. It's a huge pet hate of mine to see young kids trying to eat either sitting on their knees, or with the table at chin level. So many parents moan that their kids are fidgety or won't eat - I don't blame them!

I think she was being rude so YANBU.

Sorry for hijack but what sort of booster seat do any of you have? DD is 18mo and considering getting one.

I'm surprised that there are so many people who can't trust a 2.5 year old to sit still throughout a meal in a restaurant. Surely they sit still at home, at the table? I'm sure I'll be flamed, but I'm genuinely surprised at this.

Gwendoline - dont think its anything to do with parenting skills. DS1 would sit perfectly nicely to eat at the age of 2. Ds2 would still be be a nightmare at sitting still at 3, actually at now 8 he still active, figets at lot and trouble sitting still although thankfully is tons better than younger and can enjoy a nice meal out with him without trapping him down . It is personality differences and differences in children generally. So no one else should judge if a child needs one except her parents.

Mine is 26 months & would use a high chair at a restaurant. Simple reason being he'd want to get down from a chair. He's in a booster chair at home as he grew out of the crappy thing I bought.
YANBU.