To want to throttle women who talk their kids in REALLY LOUD VOICES

[bbird1]

in public for no apparent reason. It's just bloody annoying. Just pipe down ffs!

OK, how's this:

This thread is about having a tongue in cheek sneer at performance parents who like everyone to take notice of their little darlings and their own fabulous parenting style. It is NOT about judging those with SN.

I have dysclaculia. It means I have difficulty reading and understanding numbers and mathmatical values. It means that in shops, if I'm paying in cash, it takes me some time to organise the correct amount of change. I often hold people up and get lots of tuts and eye rolls. It has literally never occurred to me to get all worked up and injured about it. I accept that it hasn't occurred to them that I have this difficulty, that they think I'm just a twat who doesn't care about their own busy day. If someone posted a thread on here complaining about idiots who fanny about with their change in Tesco rather than paying and pissing off I wouldn't dream of getting out my soap box and yelling from it.

Can we move on now?

"And animation, you stiiiiiilll haven't answered my question, or Justabout's question, or anyone else who says they speak in what may be deemed by you a showy off manner, yet it's completely a different scenario."

Can you spot poncy, pretentious, theatrical types?

I saw this exact woman in Tesco's last week. I couldn't get away from the screechy bint.

She doubly annoyed me by shoutily referring to herself as 'mummy' my pet hate, 'GIVE IT TO MUMMY!', 'MUMMY'S JUST GETTING...'

There was solidarity amongst the customers as we all rolled our eyes at each other, even the cashier said she wanted to tell her to shut up.

Can I just say as well that "Give it a rest would you" was met with all sorts of appreciative hmmms and muffled giggles from the rest of the carriage. I didn't cry just because of 1 woman, but because of the general attitude.

I wonder if I had been screaming and effing n jeffing at DD if anyone would have been brave enough to give the dirty looks or bitchy comments?

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a saint and when I hear the mum at the end of her tether screaming at her DCs, I have to remind myself that I don't know her circumstances. But it is dumfounding that people judge parents for doing something good.

Overthink all you want, Justabout

There are some occasions when it is blindingly obvious that someone is showing-off. The giveaway is the constant looking around, trying to catch someone's eye and then beaming proudly.

I was on the receiving end of this in Sainsburys the other day. We have guests coming this week and I picked up a couple of the toddler meals (not the Annabel Karmel ones- the other ones like them, can't remember what they are called) to save time cooking.

A woman who had been parenting loudly all around the supermarket came over with her toddler in the trolley. The little boy kept trying to pick up one of the ready meals and she went into a lengthy monologue about "Oh NO, Tarquin. Those aren't NICE. Mummy makes you nice, fresh food. Those have lots of NASTY things in that aren't GOOD for your tummy. You don't want THOSE nasty things. Mummy will make you something yummy with the lovely vegetables we just picked up" and so on at unnecessary length. And all this while I am standing there with one meal in my basket and another in my hand. As far as I could tell the only reason she was even at that display was to tell little Tarquin how bad these meals were and it was clearly for the benefit of me, the poor deluded mother, too lazy to cook for her child.

Fernie, if I had to take ds (also 4) on a 45 minute train journey we would end up chatting, reading books etc throughout the whole journey too. tbh I can't see why you should have to explain this. It sounds completely normal to me.

For those in this thread mentioning kids with various conditions - partially deaf etc - deliberating ignoring the sentiment of the original post (or being too thick to understand it?), well I am sorry but you guys really are scraping the bottom of the barrel.
Anybody with half a brain cell can understand the kind of affected behaviour I was referring to. And despite your feeble protestations to the contrary, you can spot it a mile off.
fernelinin - curious - if you know your behaviour is pissing off so many, why continue with it? Why not tone it down?

fearnelinen Mon 30-May-11 10:36:53
MmeLindor - that's only poncey because it's not your values. It's exactly the same as her saying 'No darling, we don't buy haribo because only chavvy scum eat those' ... it's not ok. She's telling her DCs what she believes is right.

Hmm. Good point. Never thought of it that way.

We do judge though. In the same way we would judge if we heard a woman say, "Just sit down and shut the fuck up or I will fucking batter you" to a child.

Excellent post fearnelinen let's hope you sharing it will stop someone like the Op being judgemental and nasty as I 've got to say I hate the post headline - throttle women - I mean what is all that about, and is it only women?

Fearne, they probably would have been too afraid to say anything, had you been effing and blinding at DD. It's appalling that so many people were willing to judge.

bbird
Did you read Fearne's post? She has to speak to her DD in this way otherwise her DD will not be able to communicate well with her speech therapist and the therapy session will be wasted.

but kungfu that woman was opining in a vile fashion and clearly intended you to feel shit (love AK meals personally - I am a great cook honestly but ds doesn't think so). That is different from the poor woman in the post office, who it seems was probably silverfrog, who was just explaining how the post works.

wow, way to be a bitch, bbird... God forbid fearne should be helping her DD's speech...

Not really, justabout. I have had this since I was a child and since it wasn't a recognised special need until after I left school, I was on the receiving end of plenty of judging/mockery, by teachers, other pupils and even my own family at times. They all thought I was thick becase I couldn't even tell the time when I left school. Not at all ideal, but it made me a far stronger person (wanky as that sounds). Basically I don't expect the world to make an exception for every dithering idiot on the offchance that they may have the same condition as me. Some of them are dithering idiots. In the same way that some of these parents are pretentious twits. We're not Carebears. No one wants to teach the world to sing. It is healthy to sometimes have a good old moan about people without others accusing them of a bigotry that was never intended.

bbird I'm curious as to why talking loudly to my DD would piss people off? Why should I tone it down? It benefits her.

Wow OP. What a spiteful witch you are !

"like the lady in the post office - who I doubt is an ASD parent.

Let me get this straight. You are judging this woman who you don't know, have never met or seen and you weren't even there."

Look for the signs!

The 'lady in the post office' was being very grandiose about the grandmama having a LADY title. That's why she was categoried as pretentious.

ASD parents are not grandiose.

I'll get my coat then.

I was about to say what GoblinChild said

I know of one relative person in this world who performance parents for a fact.

Generally I don't judge or even notice how other parents are speaking to their children, unless they are shouting nastily or swearing.

Once though we were at a farm in the UK and were looking at some rabbits and other small creatures when a father came into the same hut as us with his DD who looked a very similar age to our DD - about 14 months. Our DD couldn't walk, or talk. The other girl could walk and was babbling, too. The dad spent the whole time making references to this - not directly to us, but through his daughter. Like 'careful Poppy, don't go barging into that little girl you're much steadier on your feet and you will knock her down' the girl was about three meters away and not moving. And 'no, Poppy, walk around that little girl, she wont move out of your way because she can't walk. No Poppy, not even if you say excuse me'. Poppy was constantly babbling 'dadadadada' as small children do and wasn't even trying to go past DD. 'Look Poppy! Rabbits! You can say rabbits can't you? Rabbit! Say rabbit! Raaaa bit! Poppy say rabbit, Poppy say rabbit' Poppy started crying because she had been watching sime guinea pigs and her dad dragged her away. Amidst her howls, dad said 'yes darling! Rabbit! Well done'

The whole monologue was very loud and aimed directly at me. He had to leave because the child was crying and his parting shot was to me 'well we'd better move on. Some kids are so curious that they just always need to be on the move and doing something new. She needs constant stimulation, this one!'

It was utterly bizarre. I am sure Poppy was a bright, active, clever little girl - but you could see that just by watching her take an interest in the animals etc. I didn't need a public broadcast. The guy barely took his eyes off me the whole time. I kept wondering if I was expected to comment or something.

I think this is the kind of thing that people mean, rather than just peole speaking nicely and clearly to their child.

And you were in the post office, were you, Animation? Whilst this lady was being so grandiose. How do you know the poster didn't have her own conception that this lady was being grandiose when she wasn't, and amplified it in this post...