To want to throttle women who talk their kids in REALLY LOUD VOICES

[bbird1]

in public for no apparent reason. It's just bloody annoying. Just pipe down ffs!

Yes, it's a shame. I tuned in to read some funny posts about awful loud bragging parents (don't get me started on "A potato is a tuber , darling" in Waitrose) and I find the thread's been hijacked by the Professionally Offended.

Ok, fair enough. I came back.

My son is hypersensitive to noise. Talking loudly to him in a loud environment will result in a full-blown meltdown and very probable injuries.

Something I've found with many children (SN or not) - if you talk really quietly they have to stop talking so they can hear you. Obviously this wouldn't work with hyposensitive or hearing impaired kids.

HURRAY for WOMEN with LOUD VOICES !

I wish for women to have LOUD VOICES in every area of life, thank you very much.

Gramercy

I could tell you about ds1 vomiting in my mouth if you like.

It is an old story but a good one.

I love the phrase 'professionally offended'! It describes so many people so well

Pag, do tell the story.

Justabout, I couldn't take my son out on my own from age 7. The last time I took him out was the 2 minute trip to collect his twin sister from primary. It took 20 minutes to get there, with me being punched, kicked and bitten all the way. And ds was throwing himself onto the concrete, which terrified me.

Good luck with getting out and about with your boys.

I was shopping and went into smiths. I had ds1 in his cutesy outfit and he started to whine a bit so I very noisly did the " oh wassamatter baby boy..." and took him out of his buggy.
He stopped whining and beamed so I lifted him up. He giggled and in that moment I knew that everyone was admiring what a loving competent mother I was, and what a gorgeous baby I had. So I started raising him up and wiggling him and doing baby talk and looking for all the world like a washing liquid advert.
As he was directly above my head and with a small crowd of people trying to get past the annoying bint with the fugly child he vomited right into my mouth.

I was in the middle of smiths, no where to go.
Spit or swallow.

I swallowed
You could hear the collective [euuww]

Mumsnet really needs a 'sick' emoticon. Could really use it about now.

And "a potato is a tuber, darling" in Waitrose is quite funny

even if you thought most of my posts were on the side of the "professionally offended".

As someone with a tendency for attention deficit I do tend to swap sides, and follow whatever seems most interesting ...

Which is why children who think like me might need a parent who speaks to them in a clear, louder way - to keep their attention

OMG.... Pagwatch...

and [vomit]

I know.

16 years ago but the scars won't heal

Lolol Pag. That was very cheering for me on a dismal afternoon.

Someone was loud parenting in our local garden centre the other day:

"Can you remember what plant it is that we need to buy darling?"

[silence]

"It was a dwarf Syriningulus Piretacopia wasn't it darling. Can you say dwarf Syriningulus Piretacopia?2

[silence]

"See if you can find a dwarf Syriningulus Piretacopia for Mummy."

[child holds up random plant]

I talk to DS non-stop when he is about to kick off, as it stops him when I distract by inane wittering. I'm sorry. But it's better than screaming, no? (?)

I'm farking grateful for the peace and quiet when he's willing to just gaze about with silent interest, though. The noise is the hardest bit of parenting, for me.

I thought I missed the memo about 'National Loud Parenting Day' a few weeks ago.

They were everywhere specially in sainsburys

One woman was showing her child different veggies and explaining the differing amounts of iron in each one. I thought this was okish until I looked into the buggy and saw the child was about 18mths old.

A dad was going on and on about his son not writing his name neatly at an art session . The kid protested at this haranging by refusing to get on his bike to go home. Dad had to then display his superior parenting skill by working out how to get a tantuming 4 year old, himself and two bicycles home. Ha ha.

Interestingly (or not) I find talking loudly to my DS (asd, apd, lds) makes it much harder for him to understand me.

Pagwatch, I think I love you. That made my (otherwise rather sodding blah) day.

And Pag

Ewwwwwwwww.

Aaaaarrrrrrrgh Pag, Noooooooooooooo.
Poor you, but at least you learned your smug loud parenting lesson early

Some women in the Co-Op not that long back, in the veg aisle, when I was clearly there and had put tomatoes in my basket.
Small child asks for tomatoes, 'OH NO DD WE DON'T BUY OUT OF SEASON PRODUCE DO WE'?

The child may have had SN, I wouldn't know, but the woman looked straight at me as she said it.
I wanted to ask if bananas, as she had in her trolley were in season in Scotland, but didn't, I just inwardly sniggered at her and waltzed off to the cheese aisle, to buy imported cheese.

Oh sorry, just noticed there is controversy on thread. Don't mean to trample across that. By loud parenting I only mean the kind that is produced by an anxious parent using child as nominal auditory receptacle of stuff aimed at satisfying the paranoid-fantasy of being scrutinised by other adults and found to be wanting/found to be a perfect parent, etc.

:o pag

Love it!

Pagwatch

Worth coming onto the thread just for that story. I'd like to think I wouldn't have swallowed, but thankfully have never had to find out.

What about parents who ostentatiously say the "right thing" to their bratty kids. In a smarmy, super-sweet voice: "You're not a bad PERSON, but that was a bad THING TO DO", (to child who has grabbed another kid's juice and dumped it on the ground).
"When you hit mommy it makes her feel sad" etc. This kind of thing is just so annoying to me. They have read the right parenting books, and are so pleased with themselves for doing everything right.