My millionaire sister is leaving her fortune to a dogs' home

[whatever17]

I don't care, I think she should do what she likes with her money.

My parents were distraught.

The background is that my sister called my DS2 (SN) on his bday. I had tried to manage this and had coached him and called her - she was out. She called back and he had forgotten who she was - he never sees her. I was in the background grimacing and saying "be nice, she will give you presents" he then said "what are my presents?"

I then called her back immediately and said "sorry, it was just bad timing, DS is what he is, it isn't personal".

She flipped and went to our parents saying what a shit he was, etc, etc. Then she used the family website re-writing her will about 7 times - publically. Eventually I asked my Dad to ask her to please use her private email address.

I have never wanted, asked for or expected her money.
The tin hat was that she said, in her will, that she would leave mum's wedding ring (which mum outgrew 20 years ago) to DS1, not me or DS2. I have told DS1 never to accept it.

I suppose Vicar because it caused such a shit stir in the family.

The real problem was her insults hurled at my SN kid - who didn't know who she was or why she way calling or why she was mad.

It was that her money was a problem for her, not for us. We had never thought of having it in the first place.

i also have a son with SN, but i do think you handled that whole conversation badly.
I take it she does not understand your sons condition, or see your son often?
why the need to re write the will on the website - was she ever going to be leaving you her money? how big an age gap is there between you?

my DSis has named me in her will - i dont really take it seriously as by the time she dies ill be ready to croak aswell....no biggie. My son has autism. i have no other family. i just dont really understand your thread - the money clearly does bother you, i cant see why else you started a thread about it?

Sister sounds a bit bonkers strange writing her will multiple times very publicly. She sounds a lot stranger than you. How odd.

To tell your child to be nice so he can expect presents

and double

WTF?

chicleteeth, some kids with special needs do need coaching on social niceties and what to say to people....but agree that in this case that particular conversation was mishandled.

id say alls well that ends well op....you dont want her money and she doesnt want to leave it to you. result!

are you sisters not speaking now?

It wasn't like that. We have a family website in which she had contacted her solicitor and showed that she was leaving £100k to me and each of my 3 DCs. Then my SN kid fluffed the bday phone call.

He didn't really understand that it was his bday and I coached him before we called her to thank her for her presents.

She wasn't in and then called back, by which time he had forgotten everything.

I was in the background trying to help and hissing "birthday, present".

He then said "what are my presents" (which was a spiderman bin ffs)

And then she was super offended. I called back immediately and said "he doesn't really undertand".

She then did the will thing publicly.

Vicar - no, we do speak. But she had a blow up with our Mum saying how much she hates DS2.

It's not like that - he had forgotten why she was calling him. The presents were not the issue at all, I was trying to help him through the phone call. And trying to remind him who she was and why she was calling.

Bluddy - No - I found out after when she gave it to her cleaner, for her kid.

Like I said - the present was not the issue - I was trying to help him with the phone call.

Good for you and her.
You don't care, and clearly she cares enough to leave it to her charity of choice.
The problem is?

Bluddy - she gave it to her cleaner's kid after the phone call.

Chicle - I suppose because it is her bday tmw and I feel obliged to send her a card. Even though I really don't want to after she was so mean about my kid.

But I am happy that she has left her money to her charity of choice.

No - she gave the present that she had bought for my son to her cleaner's son. I found this out much later from my mum. We had no idea what the present was at the time of the phone call.

I don't understand

lol Bluddy clearly it's the new protocol. Maybe phone before you receive presents and also after once they're opened. Cover all angles!

Oh dear - not to thank her for presents which he hadn't yet received. Just I knew she would call on his bday, therefore I tried hard to get him to say "acceptable" things. Anyone with a kid with ASD will know what I mean.

In the end - the phone call didn't go well. She changed her will because of the phone call. I am happy for her that she changed her will, although I wish she had not done it so publically on his birthday.

I wish she had not gone to our parents' house immediately ranting about how much she hates my son.