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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

My millionaire sister is leaving her fortune to a dogs' home

124 replies

whatever17 · 29/05/2011 04:16

I don't care, I think she should do what she likes with her money.

My parents were distraught.

The background is that my sister called my DS2 (SN) on his bday. I had tried to manage this and had coached him and called her - she was out. She called back and he had forgotten who she was - he never sees her. I was in the background grimacing and saying "be nice, she will give you presents" he then said "what are my presents?"

I then called her back immediately and said "sorry, it was just bad timing, DS is what he is, it isn't personal".

She flipped and went to our parents saying what a shit he was, etc, etc. Then she used the family website re-writing her will about 7 times - publically. Eventually I asked my Dad to ask her to please use her private email address.

I have never wanted, asked for or expected her money.
The tin hat was that she said, in her will, that she would leave mum's wedding ring (which mum outgrew 20 years ago) to DS1, not me or DS2. I have told DS1 never to accept it.

OP posts:

Doobydoo · 29/05/2011 14:44

What an utter biscuity post

Mollydollydoll · 29/05/2011 14:54

This as be mishandled by you.
"be nice and she will give you presents"
If I heard this I'd be well pissed off.
And it's her money to leave to who she wants to. It's not your money.
It's hers.

Pagwatch · 29/05/2011 14:58

Do sisters expect to be left something?

Do some people really live in a world where they fret about future bequests?

Should I be warning some of my sisters that I will be leaving them squat?

Has the op contemplated the possibility that her sister may out live her?

I need the answers to these very important questions.
Or maybe not.

Youcantaffordme · 29/05/2011 15:04

I am not convinced that the sister did call the child a shit. Look at the way it's worded:

She flipped and went to our parents saying what a shit he was, etc, etc.

Looks like paraphrasing to me. I bet it's not what she actually said. I wouldn't blame her if she'd called the OP a shit, though :)

Mollydollydoll · 29/05/2011 15:05

My sister expects my dad to leave her his house as she doesn't have one.
She's even asked him if he's got a will. This is private as for dad I said spend the lot and have fun. No one should wait for dead mans shoes!

Mollydollydoll · 29/05/2011 15:17

When my mom was diagnosed with cancer the 1st thing my sis asked did mom have a will. My dad utterly shocked stood there agast. What a thing to ask. When mom did sadly pass again my sis asked I felt like slapping her. I said dad gets it all he's her next of kin. She said so I get nothing? I handed her my moms jewellery box and said knock yourself out. I was so angry. This was the day if her funeral. I've never forgiven my sister for this. We still talk but her behaviour was unforgivable. I just hope dad spends it all on cruises now.

pantspantspants · 29/05/2011 15:24

Thank god she's seen sense and blocked you from her wealth before her time comes.

OP you sound very materialistic and uncaring to me.

I would never say to any child "be nice, she will give you presents" and you can't blame anything on your child's Special needs, this was your fault he was just following on from what you had said. Sounds like he would have had a far better conversation with your sister if you hadn't "coached him" and maybe after this experience you may think twice about 'coaching' DS1 into not accepting the ring. Its his choice

Please ask your sister to leave the money to a local dogs charity rather than a National charity that will use her money far less productively.

Mollydollydoll · 29/05/2011 15:26

You sound a horrid sister OP hopefully you'll see the error of your ways before it's too late.

SockShitter · 29/05/2011 15:28

Good for her.

SockShitter · 29/05/2011 15:38

Hey uh Pagwatch, if you're desperate for beneficiaries I 'm happy to help out anyway I can

DooinMeCleanin · 29/05/2011 15:40

Lucky dogs home. What is your question?

Pagwatch · 29/05/2011 15:42

I have a massive collection of odd socks, created over decades.
Other than that i have cook books i read when i kid myself that one day I will enjoy cooking. And lego
Would you like any of those?

Pagwatch · 29/05/2011 15:43

Op isn't coming back is she?

pinkstarlight · 29/05/2011 15:45

sound like there might be more history between sistors than the op has said and its very obvious they are not close as the child wasnt even sure who she was.is there a possibility she overheard you instructing your child what to say and was really offended. my own son has special needs and i never know what he might come out with next but i find this is what endears him to others teaching him to be polite is one thing putting words into his mouth is something else.

Mollydollydoll · 29/05/2011 15:47

Pagwatch you said it ;)

ThatVikRinA22 · 29/05/2011 15:47

did you expect op back after a flaming?

i think there are gentler ways to tell someone they are being unreasonable.

Pagwatch · 29/05/2011 15:50

I thought she may come back to give background that may provide some context to why the will is an issue, why her son never sees her sister and why they seem hostile.

It could have made some sense.

DooinMeCleanin · 29/05/2011 15:52

Given the op was posted at 4:16 am and makes very little sense, I'm guessing the op was pissed last night and is still in bed sleeping off her hangover

Mollydollydoll · 29/05/2011 15:56

Unreasonable she's the one that was unreasonable telling her son to be nice to get presents

Pagwatch · 29/05/2011 15:58

I hadn't noticed that dooin.

you could well be right.

SockShitter · 29/05/2011 17:05

I have a massive collection of odd socks, created over decades.

My name is only meant feces facetiously you know

Pagwatch · 29/05/2011 17:34

Of course it is...........

ThatVikRinA22 · 30/05/2011 15:07

i posted just after op....i wasnt pissed! i had just got in from work,
or op could be abroad and in a different time zone?

Original poster

whatever17 · 04/06/2011 00:19

We are not close and I think that she ought to leave her money to dogs, or whatever, not to us. We don't want or need, or expect it.

OP posts:

ThatVikRinA22 · 04/06/2011 00:23

thats good.

but begs one tiny question.....so why the thread?

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