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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In thinking people that don't keep their body hair under control are weird ?

167 replies

luvvinlife · 25/05/2011 13:38

I've seen topics on here about it and really have trouble understanding why anyone would want hairy legs or even worse hairy armpits and a crotch like a badly kept privet ?

OP posts:
squashycreech · 25/05/2011 15:42

30 years ago, it was totally 100% normal to have pubic hair. Yes, it could be that people prefer it to be clean shaven (and that's fine) but it's a bit odd to judge other people for not doing so.

I once slept with a guy who thought it was disgusting that I didn't shave my pubes. I was really shocked by that (and showed him the door.)

I shave my legs, and would find it difficult to leave the house in a short skirt not having done so. For me, it looks and feels nicer, but of course I'm aware that it's a cultural norm.

As for armpits, sometimes I shave, sometimes not. I think it looks quite nice unshaven.

Considering men and women now have totally different grooming regimes in this country, I'm baffled as to how it's not a feminist issue. I get loads of stares for not shaving my pits; my boyfriend (who has a lot more armpit hair than me) gets none. How is that, then, NOT a feminist issue?

BOMgoneoff · 25/05/2011 15:43

luvinlife I think you have interpretted peoples comments as meaning if you shave your legs you can't be a feminist. Or, if you hold the view that you have the choice to shave your legs then it is an anti feminist view. I certainly don't think wither of those things.

but if we are talking about judging women for not shaving their legs - as you did in your OP, then that IS a feminist issue.

SarfEasticated · 25/05/2011 15:51

"are pubes the new parking space'' my vote for quote of the week!

Primalscream · 25/05/2011 15:52

That's true madonnawhore - and all feminists are well aware of that, it's just some want to give female shaving a bigger platform than it deserves. I'm not sure why? - I admire the feminists who concentrate on the serious stuff and leave the frivolities off the agenda - let's not forget that Naomi Wolf made £££££ out of the beauty myth - whilst being something of a beauty herself ..... Hmm, who's fooling who?

Original poster
luvvinlife · 25/05/2011 15:54

Its not a feminist issue, its just an issue for people that feel pressurised into doing something. Its THEIR issue, not a feminist one.

OP posts:
Insomnia11 · 25/05/2011 15:58

Most men shave their faces daily. Beards are moustaches are acceptable but not as common as they used to be.

Perhaps men are being oppressed by the matriarchal society as most women don't care for facial hair?

Anyway I don't find it too taxing or painful to shave my armpits and just slightly trim (so as hairs don't sprout out of knickers/swimwear) my pubes two or three times a week and shave my legs once a week. Certainly if I ever had facial hair I'd deal with that as well.

Primalscream · 25/05/2011 16:01

Agreed op; and I think some feminist authors tap in on womens insecurities and milk it - 'hey, you're ugly - don't worry about it, buy my £20 book and you'll feel a whole lot better'

somewherewest · 25/05/2011 16:01

I've completely lost the will to do much about hair at the moment (working full-time, 3 months pregnant, bloody knackered, nausea etc etc) and my DH doesn't seem to care. shrug

Original poster
luvvinlife · 25/05/2011 16:02

So, are you saying if I had called this "AIBU in being pissed off at being told by so called Feminists I'm selling out to a male dominated society because I choose to shave my pits and legs and keep my ninny short" it wouldn't have been called insulting or attracted attacks ?

OP posts:
BooyHoo · 25/05/2011 16:40

"It wasn't so long ago that no man could reasonably have long hair, "

really? what sort of time period are you thinking of?

Ormirian · 25/05/2011 16:42

I don't know luvvinlife but I do know that your OP was obviously going to attract a little critisism and you were unreasonable to be surprised.

If feminism is about 'choice' as so many people seem to assert Hmm why can the hirsute amongst us not choose to remain so without attracting your criticism?

singersgirl · 25/05/2011 16:48

Absolutely agree that how we dress and groom ourselves, male and female, is culturally determined. It's just odd that we claim some things are choices. You know, I'm older than lots of posters on here, but when I was 20 it was considered pretty weird - and definitely porntastic - to de-pube yourself. So in the last 25 years something has changed drastically.

BOMgoneoff · 25/05/2011 17:02

"Its not a feminist issue, its just an issue for people that feel pressurised into doing something. Its THEIR issue, not a feminist one" Now you're just being silly... Asd women we do lots of things because we have been oppressed. They are indeed 6our^ issue, but also a feminist one.

I personally don't think that female shaving should be very high on the feminist agenda... There are more important things to worry about.

Had you have asked the question about in bold, I would say YANBU. But that isn't wahat you asked.

SybilBeddows · 25/05/2011 17:07

I think if OP had posted "AIBU in being pissed off at being told by so called Feminists I'm selling out to a male dominated society because I choose to shave my pits and legs and keep my ninny short" people would have asked her for evidence that she had actually been told these things by feminists.

has anyone on here said that shaving is 'selling out'? or is it those pesky straw feminists again? The ones that don't actually exist Hmm

SybilBeddows · 25/05/2011 17:09

rule 1: It is ok to make up any kind of shit about what 'feminists' have said to you.
rule 2: If feminists try to explain what they are actually saying, make sure you throw your toys out of the pram and say they are telling you what to think.

activate · 25/05/2011 17:11

I think women who remove the majority / all of their pubic hair are incredibly weird

Original poster
luvvinlife · 25/05/2011 17:40

Is that because you have been conditioned to think that way ? :)

OP posts:
BOMgoneoff · 25/05/2011 17:42

activate I don't think that's very kind or inclusive either. As David Brent once wisely said "Let's just stop judging women, yeeeeah?"

(note: they may not of been the exact words, but that scene came to mind)

Women are women, some of us shave our pubic hair, a lot of us shave our legs, most of us shave our armpits... some of us do it because we feel we have to conform, some of us do it from free will, some of us do it through what we think is free will but is actually oppression (the clever thing about oppression is you don't always no when you have been affected) but by attacking each others choices we are claiming that one 'type' of woman is better than another, or weirder than another, or weaker than another or more 'feminine' than the other.

Come on! Have a Wine

LindsayWagner · 25/05/2011 17:59

I find this idea that 'personal choice' can be exercised in a vacuum, entirely separate from and uninfluenced by the kind of social conditioning that most of us acknowledge exists, really bizarre.

BOMgoneoff · 25/05/2011 18:04

I suppose the only way of knowing would be if a woman who lived alone and never saw anyone, ever, still shaved her legs... Although, even then, she would have had to have been brought up alone for her whole life so as not to have been conditioned to find body hair 'icky'

I am very confident in my woman-ness. I don't need shaven legs etc to prove i am a woman. I am fairly convinced that i do it for myself... aren't I? Hmm maybe not.

Xenia · 25/05/2011 18:13

Women do have choices and plenty exercise them in different ways.

The original poster's husband might well shave his legs every day, his back and chest and pubic area. I don't know.

Original poster
luvvinlife · 25/05/2011 18:16

Items 3 & 4 yes ...I do item 2...sometimes 4 :)

OP posts:
activate · 25/05/2011 18:24

BOMgoneoff - look at the title - I just repeated it and changed the proposition

soverylucky · 25/05/2011 19:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

minipie · 25/05/2011 19:45

woah

OP - your husband shaves his chest and pubes?

and you shave his back?

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