to be sick to death of having to put up with other people's dogs

[WriterofDreams]

I am not a dog person. I think they're nice but I don't want to pet a dog or be anywhere near them really. This partly comes from being attacked by a dog as a young child.

This was never a problem when I lived in Ireland, where a dog is a subservient pet that is to be kept in line. In busy areas dogs are generally kept on a lead at all times and IME if a loose dog ever came up to me the owner always apologised and pulled the dog away. In the park where I used to go walking any dog that wasn't on a lead was taken away by the pound, whether the owner was close by or not. This was to protect the wildlife in the area.

Since moving to England I have come to hate dogs, not really through any fault of their own. There is a common near me where I often go walking with DS, who thankfully is still in a pram so I don't have to worry about him. On every single occasion, often more than once, a large dog has come up to me, often running. On a couple of occasions a dog has jumped up on me, scaring the absolute shit out of me. On practically every occasion the owner has either not been anywhere in the vicinity (as the dog has run far ahead of them) or has smiled indulgently and uttered the immortal phrase "he is very friendly!" before feebly calling the dog and offering no apology for the fact that dog invaded my space and scared me. On a few occasions I have been scared witless by dogs viciously fighting on the path.

AIBU to think the owners have a responsibility to keep their dogs close to them and not allow them to harrass other people?

she asked a question, you answered, you disagree with her.
she ocntinues not to agree with you. So geta grip. When on AIBU does any OP agree with the negative posts? I never saw it happen. She is supposed to accept your disagreeing but you don't accept her continuing to disagree with her. Works both ways.

''I wouldn't let my child climb all over my friends so I expect them not to let their dogs climb all over me.''

Your child is only 5 months - so wait until they are a bit older then see how they behave

YANBU - dog jumping up is wrong.

YABU - to complain that a dog invades your space . I hate children invading my space and my dogs !

YABU - to complain about dogs viciously fighting - a bit OTT I feel - playing is what they are doing .

I suggest that you read up on dog behaviour to try and overcome your 'fear' how ownersdeal with their dogs is out of your hands but trying to learn about dogs is in your hands and may help.

I forgot to add... my 2 German Shepherds and my Labrador are also very well behaved, I'm a responsible owner who leads up/calls/walks to heel/commands sit and stay if people are approaching on the fields and footpaths and who is equally pissed off with rude, abusive dog haters despite my dogs behaving perfectly and being nowhere near them, and with other peoples DC who either scream hysterically and are induldged and encouraged by the parents or who think its okay to stick hands/sticks whatever in my dogs faces.

It cuts both ways.

These kinds of threads seem to pop up regularly everytime the sun comes out . What's never mentioned is that the dog owners are on the beach/common/park all year round, but we don't start complaining every summer when the park gets busier or random children we have never met before hassle us while we are walking.

Yes dogs should be under control. No they should they not approach you unless invited to do so, expecting to never have to deal with them or to have them all leashed in public places is unreasonable.

We have to share public spaces with all manner of people and animals. Like it or not.

Dogs are not children FFS!! I can't believe people equate the two. But on that note, I have friends who aren't very experienced with children and don't know what to do with them and I'm aware of that so I don't expect them to hold DS or do anything much with him beyond saying hello to him and perhaps giving him a quick cuddle. I don't foist him upon them. Equally I have a friend who is afraid of cats, so when she comes over the cats have to go in the conservatory or the back garden. That is because I value my friend and realise that she is entitled to like or dislike what she wants without me judging her for it. I find it really odd that someone won't be friends with someone else because they don't like dogs.

But WriterofDreams you have equated dogs and children together but just saying

'I wouldn't let my child climb all over my friends so I expect them not to let their dogs climb all over me.'

You're wrong.

I am not friends with rude people with over-inflated senses of entitlement about what they can expect to happen in SOMEONE ELSES home. You don't like dogs, fine. We may not have much in common but that's fine.

You want me to put members of my family in another room just so YOU can visit, Princess Entitlement?

I don't think so!

I'd find it a bit odd if it never crossed a dog-owner's mind that people might be scared of , even terrified of their dog. We have a dog. She's not utterly terrifying to look at but I keep this in the back of my mind anyway

Can't count the number of times I have seen people out with dogs who have no control over their pets at all and they are off the lead. Yesterday when dd had sport I went walking with the dog round the fields out the back where actually you are obliged to have them on a lead. I saw all these dogs running about free chasing kids on bikes, jumping up at old people. All the rest of it. Occasionally someone makes a totally ineffectual attempt to call of their dog. I am not surprised that people who have been attacked or had bad experiences of some kind with dogs get sick of it

OP... I am genuinelly not trying to be argumentative, but are you suggesting that all dog owners put their dogs on a lead every time they are out? And if so, why? Just so they approach you?
I agree dogs should be trained and it is annoying when they are badly behaved. I had several dogs jump up at me whilst I was heavily PG. The owners generally didn't say a word, let alone an apology. They were rude and it did piss me off but I got over it and I don't think that all digs should be on a lead.... I just think your op is OTT.

Dooin, I honestly don't mind dogs running free around the common if the owner is nearby and they don't approach me. I'm aware that most dogs are lovely and friendly and they are beloved by their owners. I do feel it's reasonable to expect not to be harassed by dogs - they're not wild creatures. If my cats are around when people visit I always ask if they're ok with them being around, if they're allergic or phobic or anything. If the cat wants to be stroked I ask the person if they're ok with it. I think that's basic courtesy and I would never be so arrogant as to expect a person to just put up with my overly friendly cats whether they like it or not.

YANBU Op but unfortunately you will just have to put up with it.
I like dogs but there will always be a few owners who seem not to be able to call their dogs back if they see them slobbering or jumping all over someone else.
I think its great that you don't show fear or encourage fear in your DS, thats the best thing to do really.
Next time it happens have a small bet with yourself. What will the owner say?
"Its only being friendly"
"O its never bitten anyone before"
"Don't worry it won't bite you"

Then, deep breath and walk on.

You should train your 'over friendly' cats not to approach people until invited .

Can get a nasty scratch when they dig their claws into you .

Oh no, I'm with Vall when it comes to my house. My house, my dogs put up with them or don't visit.

Saying that I don't allow them to dive all over people, but they are allowed on the sofa, so may sit next you. I wouldn't push them down. T'is their sofa more than my guests. Whippy often starts off near you and creeps closer and closer until she is on you. She won't just dive on you because she knows she is not allowed. Devil Dog will investigate whether you have food and then leave you alone.

But Valhalla if I came to your house I would come to see you not the dogs. I would pet them and be nice to them but if they wanted my attention I would find that irritating and I wouldn't think it too much to expect you to call them off. If they were very boisterous and didn't listen to commands I would expect you to put them in another room. I'm not Princess Entitlement, I just think that's common courtesy.

This was never a problem when I lived in Ireland, where a dog is a subservient pet that is to be kept in line.

and beaten, abandoned, bred from to within an inch of its life and all the other things that they seem to do to their dogs, to make sure they remain subservient ?

YABU

I think in someone's own house, you'd have to say beforehand that it makes you feel scared or whatever it is in your case when the dogs come close so the owner might keep that in mind.

I am not scared of dogs particularly (depending on the dog and the way it is acting) but tbh I would expect a dog in its home to be doing pretty much what it is generally allowed to do, even if I am there

I like dogs. However, I don't understand why we have a tree in the park that has little bags of dog poo hanging all over it. We call is the dog poo tree. There is a dog poo bin about five steps from it. Is this some kind of dirty protest by dog owners ? I don't understand, can somone explain why people do this ?

Ha Avantia I dare you to try to train my cats. That'd be hilarious. I just keep them out of people's way mostly. If they want to approach someone I ask the person first and then let them at it.

I have a dog and he is always on a lead, I actually shit myself when I see dogs not on leads because I worry about my dog and the other dog attacking him.

I was walking him the other day and a staff was not on a lead, my dog is a westie and soft as, the staff jumped on his back and started growling, I was terrified, the owner said your dog was agressive, fucking how? I said he should be leaded. He ignored me.

I agree that dogs are often treated badly in Ireland. What I meant in my post that those that are kept as pets (rather than as breeding machines) are not treated as though they are entitled to do as the please regardless of anyone else's feelings. They are generally well trained and kept away from people unless the person actually expresses a wish to be near them.

Dooin... have you ever met the type who come to your home for the first (and last, never to be invited back!) time and who keep dropping passive-aggressive hints that they "Wouldn't have a dog themself, their MILs dog is ALWAYS put out into the garden when they or their PFB visits, that dogs can leave so much hair on their clothes, that SIL has a seperate room for her dog...."

And have you ever smiled, opened the sitting room door and whistled for your other dog, who had been sleeping on your bed, to come down and join you all?

:o

I know fabby, you see it all the time. I rememberI saw two old women with big muscular dogs. No way could they hold them back, no way at all. The dogs were lunging at each other, full-on and everyone was making a huge circle around the four of them. The women were helpless to control their dogs on or off the lead. Honestly, get a dog you can manage

its usually the owners who make their dogs neurotic

how many times have i seen silly little dogs snatched up into their owners arms when they think mine are going to eat them

we all just walk by, ignoring them. my dogs arent in the slightest big interested, more interested in ferreting out fox poo.

YANBU OP regarding people not controlling their dogs in public places. It IS a problem, especially around young children. Just as I don't assume everyone loves my children, I don't expect dog owners to assume I love their dogs either.

I don't know anything about the treatment of dogs in Ireland, so can't comment on that.

Wow you sound like a good friend Valhalla. So if a person coming to your house was vegetarian, would you insist they ate meat just because you like it?