to be sick to death of having to put up with other people's dogs

[WriterofDreams]

I am not a dog person. I think they're nice but I don't want to pet a dog or be anywhere near them really. This partly comes from being attacked by a dog as a young child.

This was never a problem when I lived in Ireland, where a dog is a subservient pet that is to be kept in line. In busy areas dogs are generally kept on a lead at all times and IME if a loose dog ever came up to me the owner always apologised and pulled the dog away. In the park where I used to go walking any dog that wasn't on a lead was taken away by the pound, whether the owner was close by or not. This was to protect the wildlife in the area.

Since moving to England I have come to hate dogs, not really through any fault of their own. There is a common near me where I often go walking with DS, who thankfully is still in a pram so I don't have to worry about him. On every single occasion, often more than once, a large dog has come up to me, often running. On a couple of occasions a dog has jumped up on me, scaring the absolute shit out of me. On practically every occasion the owner has either not been anywhere in the vicinity (as the dog has run far ahead of them) or has smiled indulgently and uttered the immortal phrase "he is very friendly!" before feebly calling the dog and offering no apology for the fact that dog invaded my space and scared me. On a few occasions I have been scared witless by dogs viciously fighting on the path.

AIBU to think the owners have a responsibility to keep their dogs close to them and not allow them to harrass other people?

If it's a big, wild common I can understand dogs being let off the lead to stretch their legs, however I can also understand your fear (QueenCee - what do you do when something you're scared of comes close? Do you just stand still or do you get 'all flappy' note fear not hate)

Is there a more sedate Park rather than a common?

I don't agree with dogs playing around children's playparks at all - children are unpredictable, and can have parasites in their poo (which even if you pick up, leaves residue)

YANBU to expect people to keep their dogs under control and away from other people.

However, I live in Northern Ireland (and go to the south quite often) and I have never seen so many stray, free roaming or poorly cared for dogs until I came here. They don't bother people, you're right, they are minding their own business because they have simply learnt that humans aren't interesting/nice/are something to be feared. It is like dog wlefar ehas been set back about 30 years, with many, many people still keeping their 'pet' dogs outside and not properly fenced in.

Oh Val! I was hoping I'd get in there before you

obviously I meant dog welfare...

Mackerel I hope you don't seriously think I expect a dog to respect personal space, I'm not an idiot. I expect owners to control their dogs.

:o Lady

YANBU too many dog owners lack responsiblity

Our dogs stay on the lead. One is huge, and not clever enough to come back when called. The other is a tiny pup, so it is for her own protection. YANBU to expect people to control their dogs.

However, I do think that making some attempt to manage your fears would make life easier for you. I will admit to finding anti-dog folk wearisome in the extreme. No-one is entitled to spend their life having dogs kept completely away from them, that's not how it works. I especially don't like people encouraging children to be afraid of dogs; by all means, encourage sensible behaviour (asking before stroking a dog, being aware of its body language), but encouraging fear is madness.

The common is paved and has a play park for children and picnic tables, it isn't wild.

I'm sorry my attitude pisses you off but you did ask if you were being unreasonable. I think you are. You're not pissed off that I've disagreed with you!! Why did you bother to ask if you're just going to get annoyed at my opinion?
I can see why you wouldn't want a dog jumping up at you... But approaching you and invading your personal space, a bit precious.
You can't account for stupid people doing lots if stuff... Owning dogs, driving cars, bringing up children. What you going to do? Stupid people exist.
Im sorry I don't agree with you and that pisses you off but it pisses me off when people massively over react to a dog being allowed a bit of freedom off a lead and approaching you.
Worse things happen at sea!

YANBU - jumping badly behaved dogs who poo everywhere and the owners don't care....I have seen it all when I walk my own dogs.

To be clear I don't encourage fear in my child. I couldn't even if I tried anyway as he is only 5 months! I am perfectly happy to (briefly) pet the dogs of my friends but I do expect even my friends to keep their dogs away from me. I wouldn't let my child climb all over my friends so I expect them not to let their dogs climb all over me.

So I should stay out of the common then QueenCee is it?

I agree in general principle ie I expect animals to be on leads in a public place where appropriate, but I havent actually found this to be an issue wherever I've been living. Maybe the owners are more careful around here but I find the dogs are always either on a lead, or obey the owners commands (unlike my children - who rarely obey mummy)

So maybe we're just lucky. I do like dogs, but my DS1 is petrified of them for no apparent reason (my DS2 is the opposite - he runs after any dog he spots and has to be chased) Every single owner I've spoken to (usually because of DS1's chasing dogs tendency) has been absolutely lovely and either said 'probably best the children don't touch him/her' or 'he/she loves kids and is safe' and allowed DS2 to stroke it.

In fact the only time i've ever been 'attacked' by a dog (a rotty snapped at my leg) - it was in fact on a lead but still close enough to nip me for no reason other than I was walking in a space it didnt want me to walk in.

"I do expect even my friends to keep their dogs away from me"

But why would you go out in public with your friends' dogs if you're not keen on dogs? Why not arrange to meet without the dogs?

here, here Val. Lots of Irish cruelty cases seem to end up over here

I guess YANBU, op, because your opinion of dogs seems, somewhat sadly, to be the norm nowadays. I now accept that my two elderly but still playful and sociable dogs are regarded as nothing less than a social nuisance to most people. The fact that dogs are the source of love, affection and pleasure for many people, as well as being invaluable in various doggy-jobs doesn't seem to count for anything. I am saddened by just how anti-dog our society has become.

Don't worry- my dogs will never get near you, because I am sure it would be well within your rights to kick them, hit them with a stick etc etc (as I've seen happen to dogs in the past) As a dog-owner, I have had several dogs run up to me and my children, and can honestly say I have never minded- even when a large playful lab took the dummy out my toddler's mouth! There are few dogs out on a walk with their owners that will randomly attack people,, despite what the tabloids would like us all to think.

I go to their houses Valhalla, because they're my friends and the dogs live at their houses

No you shouldn't stay out of the common. You shouldn't ask if you are BU if you don't like it when someone disagrees with you.

I don't like my friend's DH- maybe I could get her to put him out of the living room when I go over....

If a dog took the dummy out of my child's mouth I would be incensed Jooly. It would really upset my DS and scare the living daylight out of me.

A dog is an animal. If you like dogs, good for you but don't expect everyone else to put up with them for your sake. I don't see why society should be pro-dogs. I agree they do great jobs and can be fantastic companions for people but they are unpredictable and can't be reasoned with. For that reason I don't think they should be allowed to approach other people who don't choose to have dogs.

Queen Cee: "I think YABU. Owners would not have their dogs off the lead if they were vicious so it would be very unlikely you would come to any harm.
People who dont like dogs though,never do themselves any favours. Ignore the dog totally. IME dog haters get all flappy and hysterical. My dog thinks this is the best game and will jump up! Ignore her and she ignores you. Some woman started jabbing a broom at her once and the dog loved it!!! Thinking it was a game she jumped up and barked to play.
You really shouldn't instill your phobia on your child... You should always be cautious of dogs but not afraid and it's not fair for your child to be scared of dogs because you're so anti.
It's a dog FFS, not a bloody grizzly bear!"

your post was the nasty aggessive one with the insults not the OP and it is you who is coming over OTT and unpleasant. She can post in AIBU on whatever she wants, who cares if you cannot cope with it? You're more important than her or what?

I thought that might be the case WoD.

Look, this has been done on MN soooo many times before, but I'll say it again.

You are not a very nice friend if you go into the home of another person - which is also their DOG'S home - and expect them to put their dog out of your way because you don't like them. As I said, I don't like other perople's small children but it would be bloody rude of me to expect my friends to banish their kids from their own sitting rooms.

You wouldn't even get through the front door in this house. I don't like those who have your attitude towards dogs, or who are so rude and display such a sense of entitlement to the person who actually owns the bloody house AND to their family members... and here, in this house, my dogs are part of my family.

She asked a question!!!! I'm answering. I think op is being very very precious. Expecting her friends to not let their dogs near her when she is in their house is quite unbelievable!

Just to be clear Jooly I would never kick a dog or hurt it in any way unless I absolutely have to. I didn't even kick the dog who attacked me.

I get that you disagree with me QueenCee but I was asking what the solution is, I'm discussing the problem with you. I never said I don't like it that you disagree with me, I said your attitude pisses me off. I am as much entitled to disagree with you as you are with me.

The issue is, I like walking on the common, but my walks are spoiled by having to contend with dogs. Your opinion is I have no right to complain QueenCee, so the only other option is just to avoid the common, which to me doesn't really seem fair.

Writer, I do NOT allow my dogs to appriach other people, but I am saddened by the view of dogs that seems to be shared by many of dogs as "unpredictable". To a certain extent, most dogs' behaviour can be easily predicted- they are not hugely complex creatures, and as such are often far more "predictable" than human beings.

Some dogs are unpredicatable. Some human beings are capable of assault, rape, battery and murder. Do you avoid contact with all humans too?